Know Whatcha Thinkin'
The third quarter of 2025 has officially been vanquished by the evil time troopers and their leader, Clocky McTicksalot. That means it's C&J number-crunching time. Every few months we post the results of some recent C&J polls to give you a snapshot of our collective neural activity which, if we could bottle it, would probably violate several federal, state and local bottling laws. These are some results from July through September:
» 84 percent of you supported letting blue states gerrymander their districts in favor of Democrats if Texas started it by gerrymandering their districts in favor of Republicans (which they did).
» After RFK Jr. said he wants to allow liability lawsuits against vaccine makers who he thinks endanger public safety, 97 percent of you agreed that liability lawsuits against gun makers should also be allowed.
» 82 percent of you would not join Elon Musk's "American Party" no matter what, but 18 percent are open to it if his #1 campaign promise is "A fistful of ketamine in every pot and a Cybertruck in every garage."
» Our closest vote of the quarter: when asked if there are currently dirty dishes in your sink, 49 percent said yes, 51 percent said no.
As a professional courtesy, all C&J polls are kept far, far away from Nate Silver.
» 94 percent of you support the declaration by France, Australia, Britain and several other countries recognizing Palestine as an independent state.
» Only one percent of you think it's a good idea for the federal government to allow cryptocurrencies to be options in 401(k) retirement accounts.
» 72 percent of you need some form of caffeine to get started in the morning.
» To more accurately reflect its new mission, 93 percent of you believe RFK Jr.'s CDC should be renamed the Centers for Disease Creation.
» Among the films directed by Robert Redford, who died in September at 89, 36 percent chose A River Runs Through It as their favorite, followed by Ordinary People (22%), The Milagro Beanfield War (19%), The Horse Whisperer (14%), and Quiz Show (8%).
» 90 percent if you do not support the U.S. bailout of Argentina, whose MAGA-clone leader promised to fix his country's economy very quickly all by himself...and couldn’t.
» And 18 percent of you are frequent stargazers.
As always, thanks for participating in our C&J polls. If you’re on Weight Watchers, remember that voting counts as 22 cardiovascular workout points.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, October 2, 2025
Note: Due to the government shutdown, no one has to sweep their mud floors or repair their thatched roof today. But we will still be dropping by your village this morning to collect the taxes on behalf of The King. You’re welcome, peasantry. —Mike Johnson, House of Lords
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By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til election day: 33
Days 'til the Suffolk, Virginia Peanut Fest: 7
Percent chance that grocery prices reached record highs in 2025: 100%
Americans polled by The New York Times who believed in December 2023 and September 2025, respectively, that the killing of innocent civilians by Israel was intentional: 22%, 40%
Date on which AOL’s dial-up internet service shut down: 9/30/25
Number of AOL users at its peak in 2000: 20 million
Estimated number of internet users who still use a dial-up service today, mostly in rural areas according to the Census Bureau: 163,000
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I have said for years about people in public life, "I don't write about sex, drugs or rock 'n' roll." If I had my druthers, I wouldn't write about the religion of those in public life, either, as I consider it a most private matter.
Separation of church and state is in the Constitution because this country was founded by people who had experienced both religious persecution and state-supported religions. I think John F. Kennedy's 1960 statement to the Baptist ministers should stand as a model of how public servants should handle the relation between religious belief and public service.
Nevertheless, we are now beset by people who insist on dragging religion into governance—and who themselves believe they are beset by people determined to "drive God from the public square." This division has been in part created by and certainly aggravated by those seeking political advantage. It is a recipe for an incredibly damaging and serious split in this country, and I believe we all need to think long and carefully before doing anything to make it worse.
—October, 2005
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Skritches…
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JEERS to incomplete information. With the Republicans having shut the government down out of sheer contempt for We The People, tomorrow's September employment report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics won't be released. So all we have to rely on for the moment is the usual private-sector report that precedes it. And, surprise, surprise…the party in power, with its brain-power wattage cranked up to 11, continues to take us down the tubes:
U.S. companies shed 32,000 jobs in September, according to the payroll processing company ADP, a surprising decline that adds to growing concerns about the rapidly weakening labor market.
Yeah. We know.
ADP, which released its monthly private sector employment report Wednesday, was expected by Wall Street to report job growth of 45,000 in the month. […]
Companies with fewer than 50 employees were among those hit the hardest in September, with firms employing 20-49 employees shedding 21,000 jobs and those employing fewer than19 workers losing 19,000 jobs.
The sector that fared poorest was healthcare, after 100 percent of the workforce behind MedBed evaporated following the news that it never existed except in the fever dreams of President Trump and the QAnon world. Your invisible unemployment checks are in the mail, guys. Better luck in your new job developing a new miracle cure for windmill-noise cancer.
CHEERS to kicking the Racist-in-Chief in the teeth. Speaking of jobs…It speaks volumes that fist-pumping, fireworks-shooting, jump-up-and-down exuberance over government action used to be reserved for major things like passage of health care reform, nuclear-proliferation treaties, or legalization of marriage equality. But these days crumbs are all we get tossed, so we fist-bump ourselves raw when something like this happens:
The Supreme Court on Wednesday moved to allow Federal Reserve governor Lisa Cook to remain on the central bank board into 2026, saying it would take up President Donald Trump's appeal seeking to remove her for cause during a hearing in January.
She stays.
In August, Trump moved to fire board member Lisa Cook, who sued Trump over her attempted ouster, saying the decision violated her legal protections as an employee at the independent federal agency.
Trump said he removed Cook over mortgage fraud allegations against her. Cook has denied any wrongdoing.
So Cook, who is of course innocent of any wrongdoing, gets to stay. But you know what? By leveling those false charges of mortgage fraud, intrepid reporters have found documents showing that members of Trump's cabinet are guilty of the same thing for which Cook is being falsely accused. Oops, sorry. I probably should've yelled: "Non-spoiler Alert."
CHEERS to 24 hours of vittles and gratitude. This country is so stingy with holidays and free time in general. It's like relaxing = slacking or something, and it's ridiculous. But at least Honest Abe Lincoln gave us a little respite when he was president. During this week in 1863, he gave a speech in which he proclaimed the last Thursday in November as "Thanksgiving Day." Then the tryptophan kicked in and he fell asleep. Slacker.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to portraits in contrast. Fifty-eight years ago today, on Oct. 2nd, 1967, Thurgood Marshall was sworn in as the newest member of the Supreme Court—the first African-American elevated to the nation's highest bench. He once said:
"Today's Constitution is a realistic document of freedom only because of several corrective amendments. Those amendments speak to a sense of decency and fairness that I and other Blacks cherish."
Fifty-eight years later there's an African-American on the bench named Clarence Thomas. He once said, "How did this pubic hair get on my Coke can, Ms. Hill? Ha ha ha." My god, it’s like they’re twins.
CHEERS to G-d's Amazing 25-Hour Miracle Diet. The Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur started at sundown yesterday (which in Maine is, like, 6 O'clock now) and continues through tomorrow evening. According to C&J's go-to guide, Torah Tots…
Yom Kippur is a Shabbat...no work can be performed on Yom Kippur.
It is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on Yom Kippur. It is a complete, 25+ hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before Yom Kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of Yom Kippur. The Talmud also specifies additional restrictions: washing and bathing, anointing one's body (with cosmetics, perfumes, etc.), marital relations and wearing leather shoes.
The holiday is a somber one during which Jews confess their sins and seek forgiveness over the course of a day. That's why I'm not Jewish—I'd barely get started before the closing buzzer went off.
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Ten years ago in C&J: October 2, 2015
JEERS to a big swirling ball of trouble. The good news: Hurricane Joaquin isn't going to smash into the east coast. The bad news: it's still going to make things messy along the mid-Atlantic states. You'll notice that the hurricane's path only took a gentler track after the Pope disavowed his meeting last week with homophobic Kentucky clerk Kim Davis. A lesson as old as time: don't mess with the gays.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the skinny brown guy with the big ears and the funny name. No, not Barack Obama. India's favorite son, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi would've been 156 today. He pretty much wrote the book on non-violent dissent which, closer to home, was adapted to great effect by Martin Luther King, Jr. and John Lewis, among others...tactics that are sadly still necessary today. In honor of his day, some timeless Gandhi wisdom:
"Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment."
“Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man"
The world needs more Gandhis.
"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
And this one, which seems especially relevant in light of the current Republican war on American democracy:
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it—always."
I just wish they weren’t so good at getting back up. But, yeah, okay...point taken.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Bill in Portland Maine finished posting Cheers and Jeers at 7.50am after 72 minutes. The audience read it and offered polite applause, faces still expressionless.
—Pool Reporter
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