I was reading some of Pete Hegseth’s attempt to break the Guinness World Record for Largest Group of Generals Addressed By A Cabinet Secretary when something made me think of G.K. Chesterton. No, I don’t think Hegseth has a particularly Chestertonian wit. It’s just the weird way my brain works. Just bear with me, please.
G.K. Chesterton is known by mystery fans as a writer of detective fiction who also wrote about Faith, and by Catholics as a writer of Christian apologetics who also wrote detective stories. In addition, he was also a literary critic, a social commenter, occasional cricket player and an amateur cartoonist. He’s probably most famous for his Father Brown short stories about a deceptively mild priest who solved crimes. He also wrote novels, perhaps the best-known of which is The Man Who Was Thursday, surreal, protean work that starts out as social satire, and quickly morphs into political thriller, then gothic horror, then farce, then swashbuckling adventure, and by the time you get to the part where the elephant escapes from the zoo, all you can do is hang on and enjoy the ride.
It opens with two poets at a suburban garden party having an argument. One of them, Gregory, declares himself a Poet of Anarchy, a voice of freedom dedicated to smashing oppression; the other, Syme, claims to be a Poet of Order, celebrating those little triumphs in life of sense over chaos. Syme playfully accuses Gregory of only being a pretend anarchist and not someone who will really tear down society.
Plot twist: Syme is wrong. Gregory really is a member of an anarchist cell. His poetry schtick is just a disguise; he’s hiding in plain sight so no one will suspect him. (Not a serious spoiler; this is only the first Plot Twist. Lots more where that came from).
Here’s how Gregory explains the situation: When he had first joined the New Anarchist, he tried adopting different disguises to infiltrate society, but none of them seemed to work. He tried posing as a bishop, as a venture capitalist, as an army officer.
“Then I tried being a major…. I threw myself into the major. I drew my sword and waved it constantly. I called out ‘Blood!’ abstractedly, like a man calling for wine. I often said,‘Let the weak perish; it is the Law.’ Well, well, it seems majors don’t do this.”
I think this is what we were seeing at Pete Hegseth’s pep rally. He was trying to pretend to be a He-Man Tough Guy and preach War to a group of men who had actually seen War and have born the responsibility — and still do — of managing the forces that fight and die in our wars. They were not impressed. They could recognize a poseur. The only thing Hegseth proved was that men don’t like being mansplained to any more than women do.
I heard it said that Donald Trump is a Poor Man’s idea of a Rich Man, a Stupid Man’s idea of a Smart Man, and a Weak Man’s idea of a Strong Man. (I don’t think Chesterton said it, but he could have). I think that Hegseth was trying to evoke a Boot-licker’s idea of what his Boss would think is a Strong Man.
But maybe the thing we should be taking away from all this is that although Hegseth isn’t really a warrior, and his Supreme Leader isn’t really a Brilliant Commander; like Gregory, they both really are anarchists. They both really do want to tear everything down.
