“Washington’s Beautiful Secret”
Looks like The Lincoln Project got the contract to promote the glorious new structure that will soon grace 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. What a fine tribute to our president’s dearly-departed best friend...
-
One minor update: there will be no windows.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, October 29, 2025
Note: Vote!
-
By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til we turn our clocks back: 4
Days 'til the PA Bacon Fest in Easton, Pennsylvania: 3
Number of votes cast in the NYC mayor's race during the first two days of early voting in, respectively, 2021 and 2025: 31,176 / 165,190
Estimated number of un-contacted Indigenous groups around the world: 200
Percent of Americans polled by Gallup who believe in witches: 25%
Percent in the same poll who believe they can communicate with the dead: 27%
Percent by which candy prices have gone up under our ghoul-in-chief: 11%
-
Mid-week Rapture Index: 177 (including 3 occult events and this year's scariest Halloween mask). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Oh, look. It's a mini hippo…
-
CHEERS to our top story of the day, week, month, year, and (why not?) millennium. Well, look what the Lorax dragged out of the attic…
An original manuscript and cover sketch by Theodor Geisel, better known under his pen name Dr. Seuss, will be published by Random House Children’s Books, the company said in an Oct. 28 press release.
He’s baaaaack...
The book “Sing the 50 United States!” will be released next summer on June 2, 2026, with a first printing of 500,000 copies.
“Sing the 50 United States!” is the first full manuscript written by Dr. Seuss to be discovered since 2015’s “What Pet Should I Get?”
I will read it here, I will read it there, I will read it anywhere. I will read it in the house, I will read it with a mouse. I will read it in a box, I will read it with a fox. I will read it by a fruit stand, I will read it up until the moment—[sigh]—the MAGA meddlers have it banned.
CHEERS to hitting where it hurts. Everything I read lately indicates that Ukraine's smart, scrappy, nimble military is doling out death by a thousand cuts to Russia. In addition to turning Russian tanks and armored personnel vehicles into smoldering hulks as they turn back wave after wave of "meat grinder" assaults, Ukraine is now stepping up their campaign to hobble Russia—described as "a giant gas station and not much else"—where it really hurts:
Ukraine’s long-range strikes on refineries inside Russia have reduced Moscow’s oil refining capacity by 20%,Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy said, citing intelligence from Western governments.
Another one bites the dust.
Over90% of those deep strikes on Russian soil were carried outby Ukrainian-made long-range weapons, according to Zelenskyy. He said Ukraine needs additional foreign financial help to produce more of them. …
Oil exports play a key role in funding Russia’s invasion of its neighbor Ukraine. While Ukrainian weapons take aim at the refineries, new sanctions from the U.S. and the European Union are aiming to cut into Moscow’s oil and gas export earnings.
Russia's refinery operators will be busy repairing the damage. The people in charge of defending them will be busy moving their stuff to an office without windows.
CHEERS to the fed-up female. On October 29, 1966, the National Organization for Women (NOW) held its first conference and adopted its original Statement of Purpose in Washington D.C. That purpose: to help reduce the extent to which men are allowed to act like pigs...
We, men and women who hereby constitute ourselves as the National Organization for Women, believe that the time has come for a new movement toward true equality for all women in America, and toward a fully equal partnership of the sexes, as part of the world-wide revolution of human rights now taking place within and beyond our national borders.
59 years later, still going strong.
The purpose of NOW is to take action to bring women into full participation in the mainstream of American society now, exercising all the privileges and responsibilities thereof in truly equal partnership with men.
We believe the time has come to move beyond the abstract argument, discussion and symposia over the status and special nature of women which has raged in America in recent years; the time has come to confront, with concrete action, the conditions that now prevent women from enjoying the equality of opportunity and freedom of choice which is their right, as individual Americans, and as human beings.
Today NOW is “the largest organization of feminist grassroots activists in the United States” with “actions and positions on the issues that are principled, uncompromising and often ahead of their time.” We completely agree. But as usual, ladies, today I'm still gonna open the door for ya.
-
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
-
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
CHEERS to uniformity. 157 years ago this week, in 1868, Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved a standard uniform for postal carriers. He revised the look a year later because in the winter the assless bell-bottoms were giving too many carriers frostbite.
CHEERS to today's edition of Hey, Is America Great Yet? It's a new feature that we at C&J are providing as a public service. We've patched ourselves in to all the major departments of the U.S. government, state legislatures, polling cross-tabs, economic engines, financial markets, and consumer sentiment databases to bring you the most reliable and bias-free assessment of our nation. So, hey, is America great yet?
Hell, no.
We will continue to monitor this fluid and dynamic situation as events unfold and circumstances change. Join us for our next update on October 29, 2125. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: October 29, 2015
CHEERS to upsetting the apple cart. Game changer!!! There's a new Republican leading in the polls in Iowa. Dr. Ben Carson has overtaken Donald Trump "across the board." The significance of this shift cannot be understated. If Carson goes on to win the Iowa caucus, it's just a hop, skip and a jump to the White House. And if you don't believe me, just ask Presidents Dole, Huckabee, and Santorum.
-
And just one more…
JEERS to Day 1. Sticking this little item down here in the basement where it belongs. Five years ago this week, after Mitch McConnell allowed her nomination to be voted on just days before an election—a violation of his own so called “rule” that derailed Merrick Garland in early 2016—Trump cultist Amy Coney Barrett was sworn in as an Associate Supreme Court Justice of the United States. And, girrrrl, did she get down to work fast. If you recall, this is what transpired on her first day:
Drowned her first kitten…kicked her first clerk with the shoe that's got the hidden spring-loaded spike in it…poured hot coffee over Stephen Breyer's head, insisting that one day they'd both have a good laugh about it…bit the head off of not one but two bats because "this cockadoodie job really makes me hungry"…declared stare decisis "too funny sounding" and banned it from all further discussion…outlawed voting in the blue states…told the story of how there were two sets of footprints in the sand but then there was only one set of footprints because that was when she carried Jesus because Antifa had just shot a tranquilizer dart at his neck...called her hairdresser to tell him she couldn't wait to annul his marriage to his husband and could he fit her in Friday morning for a trim and light color treatment…replaced Justice Sotomayor's insulin with Folger's Crystals…
...and then she was home in time to fix hubbie a cocktail and light his pipe before cooking dinner and putting the kids to bed after reading them a chapter from Dante's Inferno. And everyone in the beltway media gazed at her and wondered with slack-jawed wonder: how does she do it???
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Look at the net popular rating of Bill in Portland Maine here in United States, it’s minus 10. We’re talking about Canada coming out nearly 60 points ahead on the net popularity rating versus BiPM here in the United States.”
—Harry Enten, CNN
-
