A Votin' We Will Go…
Sure, it's an off-year election day, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some—nay, several—important issues and candidates on the various ballots around the country. Our noble goal: smash the MAGA cultists so hard that even the media have to admit that the mighty GOP elephant is shitting the bed ahead of next year’s midterms.
Here in Maine we've got some interesting decisions to make. Two state ballot initiatives are aiming to take away absentee voting rights (it will fail by a massive margin) and allow family/household members to petition a court to remove firearms belonging to members of the household who "pose a significant danger of causing physical injury" (it will likely pass).
Wear it proudly.
Closer to home, Portland, Maine has a referendum to raise the minimum wage to $19/hr over the next few years. Some businesses are squawking, but if this doesn't pass I'll eat a couple boiled lobsters with melted butter, baked potato and coleslaw from my hat, which coincidentally is shaped like a large ceramic dinner plate. I shall also do this if it does pass.
Elsewhere, we'll be watching for Democrats to sweep the governor's races in Virginia (along with VA’s House of Commons) and New Jersey, the mayoral race in New York City (the groper vs. the newbie vs. the guy in the raspberry beret...the kind you find at a secondhand store), and the California redistricting referendum, plus the fate of three state Supreme Court justices in Pennsylvania. The takeaway message will be stark and clear when Democrats sweep them all:
REPUBLICANS IN DISARRAY!!!
A lot of people with less visibility than those who run during mid-term and presidential years have been busting their humps to get their message out. So go do your civic duty and pull the lever—or fill in the oval, or punch the card, or however your district does it—in favor of the Democrats and worthwhile ballot initiatives on your dance card. As Kos is fond of saying, when Democrats show up, we win.
It's health care, jobs, education, fact, science, and defense of democracy versus ignorance, incompetence, racism, and violence. To all the candidates of Team D mixing it up with their unhinged rivals from Team R, we wish you much luck and victory confetti.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 4, 2025
Note: Hey, Republicans! There's gonna be too many voters out today, so you'll be voting tomorrow instead! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! That one never gets old.
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By the Numbers:
4 days!!!
Days 'til Thanksgiving: 23
Days 'til Oregon's Gobble Up Portland: 4
Trump approval in the latest ABC News poll: 36%
Number of early votes cast in the NYC mayoral election, an incredible number considering the 2021 mayoral election brought in 1.1 million votes total: 735,000
Percent of tickets that were sold or comped to Kennedy Center productions during the fall of 2024: 93%
Percent of tickets sold or comped to Kennedy Center productions this fall under the new management of Donald Trump: 57%
Number of days the House will be in session this week: 0
Years the Space Station has been continuously staffed with astronauts as of last Sunday: 25
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Meet the New York Islanders' new Puppy with a Purpose…
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CHEERS to defending the homeland. An invasion force of masked, out-of-control marauders bristling with weapons and cruel intentions is working within our shores to destroy our representative democracy and establish a nefarious monarchy hellbent on inflicting pain and suffering among the masses. As they set their sights on the next target of their apocalyptic wrath, a mighty defender of The American Way swooped in to thwart their plans:
A federal judge on Sunday extended her order blocking President Donald Trump from sending National Guard troops into Portland, continuing the legal battle over the president’s power to use the military on American cities. […]
I forget: is this frog an insurrectionist or just a terrorist?
"Based on the trial testimony, this Court finds no credible evidence that during the approximately two months before the President’s federalization order, protests grew out of control or involved more than isolated and sporadic instances of violent conduct that resulted in no serious injuries to federal personnel," [Judge Karin Immergut] wrote.
Judge Immergut also concluded that the Trump administration likely violated a federal law that allows the takeover of the National Guard in the case of rebellion or invasion, as well as infringed on the state sovereignty of Oregon.
Not to be outdone, judges in various other states have also recently turned back the pink slip orcs, the Christian supremacists, and the famine Nazis. Proof that superheroes don’t always wear capes. Sometimes all they need is a sexy, frilly robe.
CHEERS to #1. Here's a little election day milestone from the archives: it was 101 years ago today, back in 1924, when Nellie Tayloe Ross became the first elected woman governor in U.S. history. She ran in Wyoming in the wake of her husband, Gov. William Ross's death from appendicitis, but was careful to avoid any public display of ambition for the job as that wouldn't be ladylike. Her modest agenda soon mushroomed, oddly enough, into one of great ambition:
[R]equiring cities, counties, and school districts to have budgets; stronger state laws regulating banks; exploration of better ways to sell Wyoming’s heavy crude oil; earmarking some state mineral royalties for school districts; obtaining more funds for the university; improving safety for coal miners; protecting women in industrial jobs; and supporting a proposed amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would cut back on child labor.
These ideas all came from solid, Progressive thinking. But Nellie was the first governor to back them in Wyoming.
She lost her reelection, but kept plenty busy turning out the women's vote for FDR and spending 20 years as the first woman director of the U.S. Mint. Died at 101, her life spanning presidents Grant through Carter. Currently four of our thirteen sitting female governors are Republican. But Ross was first. And as with so many firsts in politics and civil rights, the letter next to her name was a big ol' D.
JEERS to the weirdos who skulk among us. If we must (and we must), let's check in and see how the Heritage Foundation—aka the Tucker Carlson wing of the Republican party—and the "old guard" Republican party are doing as they debate the role of Jews on Planet Earth:
Heritage Foundation: Jews are scum and must be deported and eliminated, not necessarily in that order! Sieg heil!
Old Guard: No! Stop this anti-Semitic foolishness! We need the Jews around so they can all die when the Rapture comes and allow us to enter the Kingdom of Heaven!
Heritage Foundation: Eliminate them now! Sieg heil!
Old Guard: Let them be eliminated later!
Heritage Foundation: Now! Sieg heil!
Old Guard: Later!
heritage Foundation: Now! Sieg heil!
Old Guard: Later! And would you stop it with all the sieg-heiling?
And coming up tonight on Eyewitness News: Republicans frustrated that the American public isn't taking them more seriously. Film at 11.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to the jewel in the Gem State's crown. 136 years ago this week, in 1889, Idaho’s constitution was ratified by voters with 12,398 votin' fer it and 1,773 votin' agin' it. To this day it remains the only state document that guarantees to each citizen life, liberty, and the pursuit of the perfect Russet potato.
CHEERS to a moment week of zen. be sure to pause this week to stop, put your brain in neutral, and take some deep cleansing breaths. Why? Because this is International Stress Awareness Week. Stress awareness is especially important on the road these days, I think we can all agree. To inform motorists around you who might not know this, we suggest you drive up right behind them, honk your horn several times, stick your head out the window and yell, "Hey, jerkface! If you weren’t so stupid and ignorant you might know it's National Stress Awareness Week!" They'll appreciate the reminder and will probably respond with a friendly wave. Thanks for doing your part. Together we can make a difference.
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 4, 2015
CHEERS to the new boy wonder of the Great White North. Justin Trudeau was sworn in as Canada's 23rd prime Minister yesterday, and he's already making some serious history:
Justin Trudeau beamed as he explained why he felt the need to put together Canada’s first cabinet with an equal number of male and female members.
“It’s an incredible pleasure for me to be before you today…to present a cabinet that looks like Canada." He had a quick answer and a smile when asked why he felt the need for the gender balance in his 30-member cabinet. “Because it’s 2015,” he told reporters gathered outside Rideau Hall.
He promised that his government would be one based on trust and teamwork that delivered “evidence-based policy.”
In other words: Sorry, Canada. No creationism museum for you.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to this thing you Earthlings call...politics. As the last grains of sand slip from the top of the 2025 election hourglass to the bottom, a few words of wisdom from a few wise wordsmiths:
"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary."
—H.L. Mencken
"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
—George Bernard Shaw
"Politics is like football. If you see daylight, go through the hole."
—John F. Kennedy
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
—Will Rogers
"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other"
—Oscar Ameringer
"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'."
—Larry Hardiman
"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap."
—Napoleon
"The American political system is like fast food: mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting things—and everybody wants some."
—P.J. O'Rourke
Yeah, and with a sprig of parsley it's kinda tasty.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"At first, giving up Cheers and Jeers was grueling. It was so bad that I had to ask my mom to take all the computers out of my house and keep them with her. The lack of snark and squirrel pics hit me like a ton of bricks."
—Julia Gomez
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