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It’s Tuesday! And, well, that’s nice.

I liked it better last week, when it was somebody else’s turn to babysit our president. But now he’s here, and he’s going to spend all day grumbling about the elections he’s going to lose.

Yes, today is all about generating the news that will become tomorrow’s content for Greg. Plus a variety of stories about why Trump is losing all these elections, and which “lawyers” he’s hiring to sue you for making that happen.

Today’s countdown numbers:

• It’s Day 35 of the shutdown. We’ve tied the record!
• 1,173 days remaining in Trump’s legal term of office
• 364 days until the midterm elections, if we have them
• 425 days—if we have those elections—until we seat that new Congress.

Our random country generator says, today’s an unlucky day for: Turkey!

That Erdogan, he’s a strongly strong guy! But we’ll invade his country like, well, plenty of people have invaded it before.

If you need a reason, just say Trump saw something on Fox News about, um, a bad thing they did. Or whatever.

Maybe say it was Turkmenistan, but he got confused. That’s believable!

Ha ha! Oh, well. That’s Our Trump!™

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