The news of the death of director Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele Singer Reiner, came like a punch to the throat, literally choking the breath of memories of classic TV and cinema out of us. For someone my age and sensibilities, my reflections are from the 1970s and his iconic role as the foil Michael Stivic and son-in-law to a bigot. All in the Family was the vehicle television used to take on the subject of drag queens, gay rights, civil rights, women’s rights, and the growing scourge of guns in our society. I had never encountered such sophisticated, complex approaches to those subjects. For me, the brilliance of taking on the subject of race without wrapping it in a moralistic bow at the end struck a young black man like me with a sense of truth about America rarely seen on TV.
For all the gifts, his artistic triumphs, and the laughs he has brought us, his civility and pursuit of righteous causes overshadowed the gifts of film we will always celebrate. It seems apt that his father, the late Carl Reiner, was my first introduction to clever writing through The Dick Van Dyke Show. In a weekend filled with anti-Semitic killings and the tragic shooting at Brown University, it seems a cruel joke that Rob Reiner would die violently in his own home. At the introduction of the character Mike Stivic, as the boyfriend of the star character’s daughter, he was presented as the foil to the bigoted but well-meaning Archie Bunker. In my circles, we saw it as just the opposite: Bunker was not the affable everyman but the dim-witted foil to progress.
In real life, Mr. Reiner grew into that Meathead who stood up for democracy, women’s bodily autonomy, and LGBTQIA rights. He and his wife were instrumental in rescinding Prop 8, which led to the rights of gay people to enjoy the mirth and miseries of marriage just like the rest of us. Following the murder of Charlie Kirk, Mr. Reiner, although a staunch opponent of just about everything Mr. Kirk believed, said of Kirk’s death, “Absolute horror, and I unfortunately saw the video of it,” Reiner replied. “It’s beyond belief what happened to him. That should never happen to anybody. I don’t care what your political beliefs are. That’s not acceptable. That’s not a solution to solving problems,” Reiner noted.
The fevered swamps of the conservative wing of the internet are ablaze with ridicule and scorn for Mr. Reiner, led by the current President of the United States. Meanwhile, many of us who are not deplorables choose to laugh and love his life and movies, as I did the first time I was aware of him, with Where’s Poppa? He became an icon in the music world with Spinal Tap and in women’s commiseration with The First Wives Club. As for me, I choose to believe that he is sitting down to lunch with his Mom and Dad in whatever afterlife you believe, and saying to his Mom, who in a cameo delivered the iconic line from When Harry Met Sally, and placing his order with the words, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Despite tremendous wealth and privilege, Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele, chose to give and climb the hill and attack the castles of discord, dishonor, and dishonesty. “Have fun storming the castle.” He was one of A Few Good Men.
Your Vote is Still Your Voice
Rest, All in the Family, Rob and Michele Reiner
