Two of your least favorite MAGA personalities are engaged, and we’re taking bets on whose wedding is going to be the most outrageous.
Over the weekend, Donald Trump Jr. popped the question to socialite Bettina Anderson after a year of dating. The big news was announced by President Donald Trump at the White House holiday party Monday. In the same weekend, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene also said yes to her White House reporter boyfriend Brian Glenn.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene
Now, we wouldn’t normally bat an eye at two conspiracy theorists taking the plunge, but the lore behind these characters makes for some great speculation on how their nuptials will go down.
For Trump Jr., his father may think of himself as royalty, but we doubt that this wedding will hit anywhere close to the level of excitement that Kate Middleton and Prince William sparked across the pond.
If they don’t tie the knot at Mar-a-Lago or one of the many Trump resorts—where all of the children, and the president, got hitched—they might opt for the new White House ballroom. Surely there will be plenty of gold plating and interior decorating reminiscent of the Palm Beach resort to make the couple feel right at home (or in a Home Depot aisle).
It remains to be seen if the Trump family will take public donations from tech billionaires to fund their big day.
And while the guest list hasn’t been released, we have a feeling that Trump Jr.’s ex-fiancé, U.S. Ambassador to Greece Kimberly Guilfoyle, won’t be in attendance. After all, the president shipped the former Fox News host off to Greece soon after news broke that her ex had gone official with the tall blonde.
That is one way to make your ex disappear after a questionably timed hard launch of a relationship.
As for Greene, though, we’re envisioning a different touch of class for her big day.
“Costume Change” by Clay Bennett
Unfortunately, the renounced QAnoner likely won’t be landing a Trump location—at least not at any bargain price—for her wedding. Greene strayed away from the loyal MAGA path when she began criticizing the president’s handling of the Epstein files and the skyrocketing price of Obamacare. Soon after, though, death threats—and attacks from Trump himself—unfurled before the Georgia congresswoman announced her House retirement.
Now, thankfully, she has plenty of time to plan her wedding and go down YouTube conspiracy rabbit holes.
If we had to guess, the 51-year-old will take a different stylistic approach to her wedding day. Less Palm Beach, Hobby Lobby socialite with pastel colors and more barn in the middle of Georgia with Pinterest-style mason jars.
Greene’s pockets aren’t as lined as the Trump family, but we assume the lovely couple will be vying for a Nickelback cover band or, if they shell out the cash, lead singer Chad Kroeger himself.
It remains to be seen if the president will bless the couple with his attendance, but if anyone is going to convince him it might be Glenn during the White House press gaggles. And while Trump has soured on Greene (even calling her “Marjorie Taylor Brown”), Glenn still has the opportunity to kiss his ring in the Oval Office to change his mind.
Hopefully, now that Greene is retired and leaning into her trad-wife lifestyle, she won’t meet any more tantric sex gurus or gym bros while Glenn is off making more far right news or criticizing world leaders for their clothing choices.
All in all, though, we’re hoping for the best for these four, and at the very least, we hope it provides some entertainment during stressful times.
