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Welcome to Second Monday!
Ordinarily, it’d be Tax Day, April 15. But since the U.S. House of Representatives stopped time a few weeks ago, maybe it’s not! Maybe you don’t owe anything, after all!
Or maybe you’ve already paid, and Trump has already converted your money into Bitcoin. Or Trumpcoin! There’s no way of knowing, except for reading the news, and assuming the opposite of whatever Trump says.
Today’s countdown numbers:
- 169 days until the “legal” funding for what’s left of the US government runs out… again!
- 1,376 days remaining in Trump’s legal term of office
- 567 days until the midterm elections, if we have them
- 628 days—if we have those elections—until we seat a new Congress
The Invasion Bingo random country generator says today’s an unlucky day for: Kuwait!
Don’t think we won’t do it, man!
We’re bombing Yemen, allowed a blockade of Qatar, and invaded Iraq! We’ve already got military bases in Kuwait as it is! Maybe we’re already invading them!
Anyway, at least it’s not another Scandinavian country.
Just don’t say it too loud. Trump knows his oil states, and he might start thinking about keeping it, as a “thank you” for driving the Iraqis out, back when Trump was busy defaulting on his loans for the operation of the “Trump Shuttle” airline.
Ways to Listen to Kagro in the Morning:
