Final 2025 C&J Annual Fundraiser Pitch
Many thanks to everyone who contributed this week to keep Cheers and Jeers alive and kickin'. The way I see it, it's win-win: you get C&J renewed and I get to relinquish my soul, which frees up valuable storage space in my chest cavity for candy corn. Oh, and it also pays the bills. The one-time and monthly donation options are…
One time contribution: click here.
$5 monthly contribution: click here
$10 monthly contribution: click here
$20 monthly contribution: click here
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To send a donation via snail mail:
Bill Harnsberger, 16 Pitt Street, Portland, ME, 04103.
If you're already a C&J monthly subscriber through PayPal:
You don’t have to do anything but make sure your card is still active and
then feel good about your excellent investment.
Or—and this is my final argument, may God have mercy on my marketing skills—think of it this way: for the price of a cup of coffee per day, you can enjoy both C&J and one less cup of coffee per day.
Together, we can keep the kiddie pool inflated for America and freedom. This concludes our annual fundraiser. Again, thank you for supporting our little oasis from the slings and arrows of outrageous MAGA. We will now turn the oxygen back on.
Your humble servant,
Billeh
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, May 2, 2025
Note: A reminder that tomorrow is Garden Meditation Day. Please zen your auras responsibly or I’m pulling out the pepper spray. —Mgt.
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6 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til summer: 49
Days 'til Gator by the Bay in San Diego: 6
Amount by which government spending—under the watchful eye of government spending cutter DOGE—has gone up during Trump's first 100 days compared to the first 4 months of 2024: $156 billion
Mainers polled by the University of New Hampshire Survey Center who believe Susan Collins deserves another term as Senator: 21%
Percent of eligible Canadians who voted in the latest elections, higher than any U.S. election going back to at least 1900: 68.65%
Average length of a song on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 2024: 3 minutes, 40 seconds
Length of Jack Black's ditty Steve's Lava Chicken, which now holds the record for the shortest song to hit the Billboard Hot 100 chart: 34 seconds
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Loved by all the chicks…
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CHEERS to thinning the herd. Finally, a reduction in the federal employment roll I can get behind:
President Donald Trump's national security adviser Michael Waltz is expected to leave his post, sources familiar with the decision told ABC News Thursday.
His emojis will live on in infamy.
This move comes as President Trump has been increasingly frustrated by Waltz after he came under intense scrutiny for inadvertently adding a reporter to a Signal chat with top Trump officials discussing a U.S. military strike on Houthi rebels in Yemen. […]
Trump publicly defended Waltz in the aftermath of the March Signal mishap, telling NBC News the day after details came to light in an article by The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg that Waltz "has learned a lesson and is a good man."
Time to update our Signalgate tote board: that's one Waltz down, one Hegseth to go.
Update: Apparently he’s been banished to the United Nations, where his job will now consist of hobnobbing with foreigners and working on complex agreements that require tact, preparedness, patience, and lots of smiling. Or as Republicans call it: Hell on Earth.
JEERS to America: One Gigantic Gun Fail. I guess the best thing you can say about last weekend's NRA convention is that the organization's beat-downs in court have reduced its membership and influence to the point where their schtick doesn’t get much press anymore. Even Trump, whose signature move at these things is to literally hump an American flag onstage, chose to spend his time with a dead pope instead. Nevertheless, the gun nuts swarmed the Atlanta convention center and Reuters sent a photographer to snap pics of the sickos gawking and posing with their colorful toys that kill and injure tens of thousands of their fellow citizens each year—many of them kids. USA! USA! Oh, and before I forget, congratulations to little Bobby Stuart, 13, who correctly guessed how many guns people would accidentally leave in bathroom stalls and won the grand prize, a—wait for it—a free gun!!!
JEERS to HELLO URGENT MESSAGE KIND MADAM 7 PLEASE RLPY V&i*GR#A HOT SEXY LOVER NEED ASSISTANCE!! We can't let today go by without acknowledging this week’s 47th anniversary of spam. It had a fascinating beginning. Via Geekosystem, here's how it started back in 1978:
Gary Thuerk, a marketer for the Digital Equipment Corporation, blasted out his message to 400 of the 2600 people on ARPAnet, the DARPA-funded so-called “first Internet.” Naturally: He was selling something. (Computers, or more specifically, information about open houses where people could check out the computers.)
He annoyed a lot of people. And he also had some success, with a few recipients interested in what he was pushing. And thus, spam was born.
Aren't we lucky. Now if you'll excuse me, I just got an email I have to attend to from "Íâó¾Àí/½ø³ö¿Ú¾Àí " with the subject line"|Íâó½Óµ¥Ó뺣Í⩵ ¥»ñÈ¡²ßÂÔ|" It might be news from my favorite Nigerian finance minister. Or his widow. (Thoughts and prayers.)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to the days of lollipops and surpluses. On May 2, 1997, President Clinton and congressional Republicans came to terms on a plan to balance the budget over five years. Said Newt Gingrich of the bipartisan agreement:
“This is a great moment for our children and our grandchildren and our country, and we are proud to be part of that.”
Fourteen years later, as a presidential candidate, Gingrich foolishly raised his hand when asked if he would veto a budget with ten dollars in cuts for every 1 dollar in revenue increases. But in fairness, he did also offer jobs to our children and grandchildren. As janitors. On the moon. Amazingly, he didn’t become president.
CHEERS to home vegetation. If you're looking for a mediocre and half-assed listing of what's appearing on home screens this weekend, you've come to the right mediocre and half-assed place. Things start out the usual Friday way with MSNBC unpacking the day's news dumps, including the latest judges to throw the latest books at the president’s latest illegal deportations. At 8 I’ll be on BlueSky live-skeeting, at hashtag #allstartrek, the classic Star Trek episode (via the H&I network) where Scotty drinks an alien under the table. Also at 8: a new edition of Hollywood Squares on CBS.
Or—and I’m just throwing this out there—you could toss your TV in the trash and spend your weekend tiptoeing through the tulips.
The new movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The MLB schedule is here, the NHL playoff schedule is here, and the NBA playoff schedule is here. The 151st Kentucky Derby is tomorrow (as usual my money’s on the mule wearing the rocket shoes). Coverage of the 3-minute race starts 4½ hours earlier at 2:30 on NBC. Quinta Brunson (Abbott Elementary) hosts SNL with musical guest Benson Boone.
Sunday on 60 Minutes: how the Trump monarchy is bending private law firms to do its bidding, and a possible way women can pause their biological clock. Then on Fox: Homer joins forces with a celebrity chef on The Simpsons, and Stewie heads off to China on Family Guy. And HBO wraps up the weekend with new episodes of The Last of Us, the series finale of The Righteous Gemstones, and a fresh edition of Last Week Tonight.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Kristen Welker interviews Trump. Because God hates us.
Exclusive Sunday morning “Meet the Press” preview.
This Week: Just a bunch of second-stringer pundits gabbing about The King’s first 100 days on the throne.
Face the Nation: Former National Security Adviser Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster; Rep. Mike Turner (Fascist-OH).
CNN's State of the Union: Senators Mark Warner (D-VA) and Ron Johnson (Fascist-Moscow); Rep. Chrissy Houlahan (D-PA).
Fox Fascism Sunday: DNC chair Ken Martin; Reps. Jason Smith (Fascist-MO), Jim Himes (D-CT), and Jodey Arrington (Fascist-TX).
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 2, 2015
CHEERS to throwing New Jersey's governor an anvil. U.S. attorney Paul Fishman, who held his cards very close to the vest 'til now, issued indictments against two of the Bridgegate scandal's most odious figures: Bill Baroni and Bridget "Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee" Kelly. Plus he secured a guilty plea from David "Got it" Wildstein. All three are—or were—good buddies of Chris Christie. Yes, the same Chris Christie who will never get to holler at reporters during a White House press briefing.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to blowing this popsicle stand. Whenever the shit gets too deep here on the bluish-brown marble, I head over to NASA's site to see if Space Force is conquering every ball of gas and rock in the known galaxy. Sorry to say the answer is no, so we'll just have to spend our days and nights gazing yonward and dreaming. This month’s major celestial events include hot planet-on-planet action and an imminent white dwarf fart. Here’s NASA with your monthly preview:
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And remember: for effective stargazing, adjust your vision by looking at something completely dark for at least 30 seconds before casting your eyes upward. We suggest a few seconds staring into any random Trump cabinet member’s soul.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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