Potent Quotables
This week’s Top 10…
“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.”
—H.L. Mencken
“Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication, and courage. But if we don’t practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly serious problems that face us—and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up for grabs by the next chalatan who comes along.”
—Carl Sagan
“We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.”
—Bill Vaughn
”It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk Bone shorts.”
—Norm, Cheers
“A man who will steal for me will steal from me.”
—Teddy Roosevelt
“For certain people, after 50, litigation takes the place of sex.”
—Gore Vidal
”Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.”
—Robert Benchley
“Religions are all the same—basically guilt, but with different holidays.”
—Cathy Ladman
”You can’t appreciate Shakespeare until you’ve read him in the original Klingon.”
—General Chang, Star Trek VI
“And always remember the words of my grandfather, who said: ‘A truck!’’ ”
—Emo Philips
You have been enlighteneted.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, June 18, 2025
Note: Today is International Sushi Day. By all means celebrate it to your belly’s content. I’m afraid I can’t. The memory of last year’s Sushi Day is still too raw.
-
By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til the original No Kings Day: 16
Days 'til the Taste of Highlands in New Jersey: 3
Number of homes the Minnesota MAGA terrorist went to during his rampage: 4
Estimated number of Spanish-speaking residents in Los Angeles: 1.8 million
Size of the settlement with opioid peddlers Purdue Pharma that has the support of 55 states and territories: $7.4 billion
Age of Leonard Lauder, who took Estee Lauder global, when he died this week: 92
Estee Lauder's annual sales, according to the most recent filing: $16 billion
-
Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 3 false Christs and 1 future DHS Secretary waiting in the wings for when Trump gets tired of Kristi Noem). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: Summer splashin'…
-
CHEERS to order in the courts (thanks to the ghost of Ronald Reagan). Yes, a Reagan-appointed judge, who must be like 128 years old by now, had an assistant bang a gavel and deem that, in defiance of the wishes of the executive branch, progress against death and disease shall continue until further notice:
A federal judge in Massachusetts ruled on Monday that directives from the Trump administration that led to the cancellations of several research grants from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) were "void" and "illegal."
Trivia fact: In the courtroom Judge William G. Young insists on being called “Your Honor Big Burly Badass Billy Boy.”
U.S. District Judge William Young said the cancellation of the grants—related to studies involving LGBTQ+ issues, gender identity and diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI)—violated federal law, saying it was a case of racial discrimination and discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community, according to the plaintiffs in the case.
Some estimates have suggested that up to $1.8 billion in research funding had been cut. … Young, an appointee of President Ronald Reagan, said he was ordering the NIH to restore the grants that were terminated.
And in other news, another federal judge ruled that Trump's tank parade was also illegal, so now the U.S. Army has to return to the streets of D.C. and do it again, but backwards. An appeal to the Supreme Court failed, with all nine justice concurring in a four-word ruling: This we gotta see.
CHEERS to being a clear-eyed Democrat. Because if I were a post-Watergate Republican, I'd be concocting conspiracy theories and pointing every finger I had at the media, the opposition party, the judge, the jury and, of course, George Soros in an attempt to muddy the waters in defense of this corrupt asshole. But I'm not. I'm a Democrat, and I respect the rule of law, even when it brings down members of my own party. So good riddance, pal, and have fun in the hoosegow:
Former Sen. Bob Menendez reported to prison Tuesday morning to begin serving an 11-year sentence following his conviction on federal bribery charges.
Menendez’ replacement Andy Kim is doing a fine job erasing the stink of his predecessor’s corruption.
Menendez was convicted last year of accepting bribes in exchange for political favors, including protecting New Jersey business owners from criminal investigations and meeting with Egyptian officials before helping the country access $300 million in U.S. military aid.
FBI agents searched his home and found $480,000 in cash, along with gold bars worth an estimated $150,000 and a luxury convertible.
He'll be incarcerated at New York's notoriously nightmarish Schuylkill prison, where "the inmates get continental breakfast, sleep in dorms, play bocce ball, plant vegetables and could even walk out because there is no fence." And, in a cruelly-ironic twist, where all the doorstops are gold bars.
JEERS to tales from America's dark ages. Another reminder that we used to be, in certain ways, as backward as any nation that ever was. On this date in 1873—ah, those wacky Grant years—Susan B. Anthony was fined a hundred dollars for the unpardonable offense of voting (in Rochester, New York).
On the day of her sentencing, Anthony was asked by Hunt whether she had anything to say.
Susan’s gravestone is covered with “I Voted” stickers every November.
“Yes, your honor, I have many things to say; for in your ordered verdict of guilty, you have trampled underfoot every vital principle of our government,” Anthony said. “My natural rights, my civil rights, my political rights, my judicial rights, are all alike ignored. Robbed of the fundamental privilege of citizenship, I am degraded from the status of a citizen to that of a subject; and not only myself individually, but all of my sex, are, by your honor’s verdict, doomed to political subjection under this, so-called, form of government.”
The dust-up led to immediate reforms. Unfortunately, back in those days "immediate reform" meant waiting another fifty years before doing anything about it. By the way, Ms. Anthony never paid the fine. As of last year her heirs owed the Fed, with interest—[clackity clackity clack DING!]—nine million dollars. But please not in Susan B. Anthony dollar coins, as they do not fit into our vending machines.
-
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
-
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
-
CHEERS to Ride's ride. 42 years ago today, strapped inside the Space Shuttle Challenger, Sally Ride became the first American woman (and, we later found out, first lesbian) in space. (The first woman in space from any country was Russia's Valentina Tereshkova in 1963—boy, did we get scooped on that.)
For a brief moment I thought she was smokin’ a butt in space. (Memo to self: schedule eye exam.)
The flight was momentarily delayed when she made the men on the crew pick up their old pad Thai take-out boxes and dirty underwear. Even worse, she hid the TV remote and flushed the porn. Now, that's just cruel.
JEERS to a contradictory citizenry. Good lord, we are so namby pamby in this country. Last week the media—totally living in Trump's bunghole these days—breathlessly trumpeted that consumer confidence was through the roof! Wow, isn’t that great news! And then this week, right on schedule, the actual numbers show that our confident consumers are actually pulling back on their confident consuming…
Consumers spending pulled back sharply in May, weighed down by declining gas sales and looming unease over where the economy is headed, the Commerce Department reported Tuesday.
Face consumption under GOP rule, however, is roaring.
Retail sales declined 0.9%, even more than the 0.6% drop expected from the Dow Jones consensus, according to numbers adjusted for seasonality but not inflation. The decline followed a 0.1% loss in April and came at a time of unease over tariffs and geopolitical tensions. Sales rose 3.3% from a year ago. […]
The pullback in retail sales came despite surveys showing that consumer sentiment actually improved in May, though compared with levels that had been falling through the year.
To be fair, spending was up on a few things: furniture, miscellaneous retailers, and anything even remotely connected to stress eating.
-
Ten years ago in C&J: June 18, 2015
CHEERS to today's edition of "They Say That Like It's A Bad Thing!" Today's softball is provided by Craig James of the Family Research Council, who says:
"The whole homosexual movement is really like a religion and the religion is sex and they worship their own genitals.”
This has been another edition of "They Say That Like It's A Bad Thing!"
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to feelin' groovy. The London-based Institute for the Quality of Life (motto: "We're an Institute. We do quality of life stuff.") is out with their latest list of the 250 happiest cities—caveat: with over 300,000 residents—on Planet Earth. Topping the list are Copenhagen, Zurich, and Singapore. See if you can spot a common trait among these U.S. cities that made the list:
New York City
Minneapolis, MN
San Diego, CA
Washington D.C.
Los Angeles, CA
What a happy li’l postcard.
Seattle, WA
Baltimore, MD
San Jose, CA
Boston, MA
Portland, OR
Yup. Liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, liberal, and liberal. And that makes their residents happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, and happy. No wonder Trump wants to destroy them.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“With Cheers and Jeers Mobile, we’re gonna be introducing an entire package of unlimited kiddie pool splashing to a hundred countries around the world!”
—Donald Trump, Jr.
-
