Not A Hoax

Make the World Go Away

Bear with me for this is probably the most difficult diary I've ever written. I struggled with putting something up that leaves me so vulnerable. Eventually I decided that if I don't speak out I am allowing this to continue. I have a story that has to be told. 

Trump has referred to the Epstein files as a hoax. He has totally dismissed the victims of the crime of sexual abuse. I am one of those victims. Not of Trump but still a sexual assault victim. . 

The man who assaulted me came across as so nice and gentle. He acted like the perfect gentleman. He asked to meet my cat so I invited him in.

He was bigger than me. He was stronger than me. I was terrified and could not resist. I didn't know what he would do if I tried to fight back.

I couldn't report it to the police because I had let him into my home. Rape is a crime where the victim is victimized. It is one of the reasons it is so rarely reported. The attitude is that the victim caused it. The victim could have said no.

What it does is damage your soul. It has been over 50 years. It is something you never forget. You push it down and try to function in this world but it is always there. To this day it haunts me. 

It is not a hoax. It is a soul destroyer. I want to say to every victim of this crime you are not at fault. You did nothing wrong. You are the victim. You must try and love yourself. You are worthy of love.