Late Night Snark: It’s Not Easy being Iceland Greenland Edition
"Well, it's been one year since we got back together with Trump after taking a break, and there are signs that there still may be problems with the relationship. I don’t know if you remember, but Trump promised 'America First,' yet it's only our one-year anniversary and he's already opening our relationship up to other countries. In fact, a congressman has introduced a bill to make Greenland our 51st state. Meanwhile, Puerto Rico is like, 'Wow, okay.' "
—Colin Jost, SNL
"In the Trumpian war for Arctic supremacy via the conquest of Greenland, it turns out that Davos was Trump's Waterloo, where he surrendered to Denmark without even firing a shot."
—Jon Favreau, Pod Save America podcast
"That's right. After all the bullying, the threats, all the anguish we caused, all the alliances we damaged, all the demands, we reached an agreement that is in all probability nearly identical to the agreement we already made back in 1951. And that is the art of the deal, folks. No one solves a problem that he manufactured completely on his own better than Donald J. Trump."
—Jimmy Kimmel
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"Maybe what Europe did here is a lesson for the rest of us. Trump barged into Davos and said I WANT TO OWN GREENLAND—and Europe just said no. In just six hours they talked him down from owning Greenland to 'concepts of a deal.' So maybe saying no is something more of us in America might want to try. Instead of complying in advance, college presidents, law firms, media outlets, and whoever keeps giving Trump all that tacky gold shit to put on his walls…just tell that man no. In the meantime, good on Denmark for standing its ground."
—The Daily Show's Josh Johnson
"Vice President JD Vance and second lady Usha Vance are set next month to attend the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics, partly as a diplomatic move and partly to shop for new countries to threaten."
—Seth Meyers
"Officials in Minnesota have sued the Trump administration, claiming that their large-scale ICE operations are 'an unconstitutional federal invasion,' while the Trump administration claims that 'Yep!'
—Michael Che, SNL
"This weekend temperatures in Minneapolis are expected to plunge to zero degrees, which could hinder the Trump administration’s continuing immigration crackdown. I understand those ICE agents are doing terrible things up there, but they are human beings. So I mean this with respect: I hope their dongs freeze and snap off like a graham cracker."
—Stephen Colbert
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, January 23, 2026
Note: Big snow and ice storm hitting a huge swath of the country right now. If you’re in the strike zone, please follow the proper safety protocol: make sure your neighborhood squirrels have plenty of almonds, blankets and propane heaters first, then stock up on your own emergency needs second. The almonds are really important, so do those first. Like right now. It’s that important. Squeak squeak squea… er, I mean thank you.
—The definitely human emergency manager and not a bunch of squirrels standing on top of each other under a raincoat trying to look like a human emergency manager
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Starts Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Chocolate Cake Day: 4
Days 'til the start of San Diego Restaurant Week: 2
Percent of American voters polled by The Economist/YouGov who believe President Trump cares about them: 36%
Percent approval in the same poll for the Trump administration on the issues of, respectively, inflation, immigration, and crime: 34%, 43%, 42%
Percent of industry experts polled this month by the National Kitchen and Bath Association who believe bidets will become popular in the U.S. within three years: 48%
Number of bidets shipped by Brooklyn-based bidet maker Tishy since its founding in 2015: 2 million
Rank of Dog Day Afternoon, Hustle, and Adventures of the Wilderness Family at the box office 50 years ago this week: #1, #2, #3
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…
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CHEERS to fingering the culprit…again. After driving his modified snowplow through the wall of the House Judiciary Committee and shouting "Let's do some good!", former special counsel Jack Smith cleared the air yesterday over criminal charges he'd been pursuing before he was thwarted by the double-whammy of a Trump-friendly Florida judge and Trump's reelection. Let there be no doubt, people: the sitting president was, and is, a thief and a traitor…
"President Trump was charged because the evidence established that he willfully broke the law, the very laws he took an oath to uphold," Smith said. "Grand juries in two separate districts reached this conclusion based on his actions as alleged in the indictments they returned."
Jack Smith arrives in the congressional parking lot.
Regarding the 2020 election, Smith said that Trump "engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn the results and prevent the lawful transfer of power." He also said the president illegally kept classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago estate.
Meanwhile, Committee chair Jim Jordan (MAGA-OH)—whose own hands are far from clean—offered up what he thought was criticism by blurting out: "Democrats have been going after President Trump for ten years, for a decade, and the country should never, ever forget what they did." Yeah, I agree. Never forget how Democrats went after the guy who led an insurrection against our country! For doggedly pursuing the nation's top criminal, they deserve a statue on the National Mall.
CHEERS to light at the end of the tunnel. As long as I live I don’t think I'll ever fully absorb just how blue Virginia—once home to the capital of the confederacy—has become in my lifetime. Not only are lefty governors and a Democrat-led legislature commonplace now, but the rights they want to codify into their constitution are a sight to behold for progressive eyes:
The whole of Virginia's General Assembly has approved four constitutional amendments—on abortion and reproductive health care, the automatic restoration of voting rights, marriage equality and mid-decade redistricting.
With the draft amendments passing both chambers in consecutive years, with a House of Delegates election in the middle, Virginia voters will now have the last say in a multi-year process on whether to enshrine in the constitution:
And with a Democrat back in the governor’s office, Virginia is poised to really fire on all cylinders.
» A fundamental right to reproductive care, including access to abortion, contraception and fertility treatments
» Automatic restoration of voting and other political rights to people who have completed felony sentences, instead of requiring the governor to sign off on individuals rights (a process that only Virginia carries out)
» Protections for marriage equality, replacing a 20-year-old ban on same-sex marriage that has not been enforced for over a decade
» The ability for Virginia lawmakers to bypass the state's current redistricting practice—where a bipartisan independent commission redraws maps after a decennial census—if other states gerrymander in mid-decade
The first three will be voted on in the November midterm elections. The fourth looks to be teed up for April so that the re-districted maps can be put in place by November. And remember: you can’t spell Richmond without Rich Mond. And Mr. Mond will never let you forget it, bub.
CHEERS to meeting the press. Sixty-five years ago this week, in 1961, President Kennedy gave the first press conference that was broadcast live on both TV and radio. Not having done it before, the early moments were a bit awkward:
"I want to assure you that I will, with great vigah, endeavuh to ahnsuh your questions thoroughly and completely…
Just not in the bahthroom while I am taking my, uh, showuh."
Things went better when they moved it to the press room.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to little misunderstandings. On Sunday’s date in 1995, the Norwegians fired a scientific rocket called a Black Brant XII into the air, and the Russians thought it might actually be an American Trident missile launched from a sub. What happened next was so hilarious…
As a result, fearing a high altitude nuclear attack that could blind Russian radar, Russian nuclear forces were put on high alert, and the nuclear weapons command suitcase was brought to Russian president Boris Yeltsin.
[He] then had to decide whether or not to launch a retaliatory nuclear strike against the United States.
The Norwegian rocket incident was the first and only incident where any nuclear weapons state had its nuclear briefcase activated and prepared for launching an attack.
How lucky was the world that day? Let me put it this way: the incident happened on the one day of his presidency when Boris Yeltsin wasn't drunk. That lucky.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Well, we survived—barely—year 1 under Very Bad Man. So now it’s time to veg in front of the flickering screen for 48 hours. Some choices tonight: Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson (D) discusses the illegal ICE raids and other pressing issues in the Windy City on Firing Line (PBS) at 8:30. Sorry, no murder porn on 48 Hours tonight, but you can still get a double dose of murder porn on NBC’s Dateline and ABC’s 20/20, which used to be news shows but now it’s murder porn. Or there’s the usual The Office marathon on Comedy Central.
Mayor Johnson gets the spotlight tonight on PBS’s ‘Firing Line.’
The most popular movies and streamers are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. (Virtually all of the Oscar nominees are streaming somewhere by now.) The NHL schedule is here, the NBA schedule is here, and the NFL AFC and NFC championship schedule is here. (As always, I'm putting all my money on whichever team’s offense uses Romulan-style cloaking technology.)
Teyana Taylor (Oscar nominated for her performance in One Battle After Another) hosts SNL. On 60 Minutes: Bari Weiss makes love to a life-size Trump doll. (Viewer discretion advised.) After that bit of trauma, Sunday night TV becomes a barren wasteland of woe and Medicare Advantage ads. Enjoy!
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Senator Adam Schiff (D-CA); filmmaker Ken Burns; Deputy Attorney General Until A Judge Rules He Was Appointed Illegally And Has To Pack Up His Shit And Leave Todd Blanche.
This Week: Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey; Senator Chris Van Hollen (D-MD); Rep. Michael McCaul (Fascist-TX); New Jersey’s new Democratic governor Mikie Sherrill.
You can just call her Governor Sherrill.
Face the Nation: Canadian Ambassador to the U.S. Kirsten Hillman; Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O’Hara.
CNN's State of the Union: THROW FECES AT YOUR TV ALERT! Border Patrol Nazi Greg Bovino shows up to teach America the proper pronunciation of Sieg Heil in his stupid little squeaky voice. Also: Governor Kevin Stitt (Fascist-OK) and Governor Mikie Sherrill (D-NJ).
Fox Fascism Sunday: Senator Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH); U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. and Guy Who Exposed National Military Secrets In A Public Chat Forum Mike Waltz.
Happy viewing!
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Twenty years ago in C&J: January 23, 2006
JEERS to that mutherf*ckingsunuvabitch. Pardon my French, but it was just awful to hear the screechings of Osama bin Laden (make sure you pronounce it Rumsfeld's way: "bin LAY-din") again. He says he's going to attack us...but he also wants a truce. Seizing this on this gaffe, the Republican spin machine immediately labeled him a flip-flopper. Meanwhile, it's been 1,525 days since President Bush said he wouldn't meet with Jack Abramoff, fall off a bicycle or wear Laura's pantyhose until he captured Osama bin Laden "dead or alive." A trifecta of broken promises.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to our beloved feud food. Today was the high holy day here at Daily Kos. Yes…it's National Pie Day. (Not to be confused with Pi day on March 14th.) Let us enter the arena now and get it on:
“David Axelrod is the most annoying Democratic pundit!” [Splot!] “James Carville is the most annoying Democratic pundit!” [Splot!]
"Love the Daily Kos Load More Comments feature!" [Splot!] "Hate the Daily Kos Load More Comments feature!" [Splot!]
"Ideological purity!" [Splot!] "Practical centrism!" [Splot!]
"We must reach out to white working Americans!" [Splot!] "White working Americans must reach out to us!" [Splot!]
"Your polls are weighted wrong!” [Splot!] “The only error in your polls is...your polls!” [Splot!]
"Ginger!" [Splot!] "Mary Ann!" [Splot!]
"Threads!" [Splot!] "BlueSky!" [Splot!]
“The Republican party is nuts!” [Brief cease fire as everyone nods in agreement]
"Woozles!" [Splot!] "Pooties!" [Splot!]
"Three point one four one five!" [Splot!] "That's pi, not pie, you idiot!" [Splot!]
[Ding dong!] "Hello! I'm Jared Kushner and I’m here to sell you a $1 billion spot on my daddy-in-law’s Board of Peace!" [Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot! Splot!]
Well done. Until next year, my brothers and sisters: pies be with you. (And also with you.)
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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