Advice to Trump Administration Officials on Achieving Operational Excellence While Maintaining Operational Security
Confidentiality matters. Loose lips sink ships, careers, and occasionally autogolpes (self-coups).
On Accidentally Adding Journalists to Confidential Signal Chats
Should you find yourself in a highly confidential regime group chat (say, one featuring Stephen Miller discussing matters that would make Nuremberg prosecutors reach for their highlighters. -- I am speaking strictly hypothetically - Miller as we all know is a saint), do not follow Secretary of War (and Happy Hour) Hegseth’s pioneering approach of accidentally adding a reporter.
But if you do? Take comfort: there’s precedent now. Precedent is soothing. The beauty of violating a policy that itself violates the law is that HR gets very quiet.
Silver lining: When the chat is inevitably reconstituted without you, consider this a blessing. You probably didn’t want to be there anyway.
On Being a Diligent Regime Employee
If, however, you remain in the highly confidential group chat — because you are nothing if not loyal — be sure to screenshot everything. Every. Single. Message.
“But wait,” you ask, “isn’t this chat specifically designed to circumvent federal document retention laws and provide plausible deniability for senior officials facing future criminal investigations?”
Yes. That’s precisely why you’re screenshotting. You’re diligent! You want these messages for future reference, to help you implement instructions faithfully. Your loyalty is beyond reproach.
Store these screenshots somewhere decidedly not on a government computer — somewhere only you can access. (See Paperwork as Patriotism)
These will prove invaluable when you’re negotiating immunity in exchange for testimony.
Remember: in this administration, “protecting your future” and “preserving the historical record” are indistinguishable.
Discuss sensitive national security matters only in a SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility).
Since this administration invokes national security to justify everything—tariffs, deportations, the price of eggs—insist that anything you are concerned about should probably be classified. No SCIF available? Suggest a walking meeting on a crowded, noisy street.
If no SCIF is available and people don't want to walk, submit a formal procurement request for the Cone of Silence. The resulting email exchanges alone should take six to eight weeks. Insist nothing can be discussed until adequate security is in place.
If anyone in leadership expresses concern about your zeal for confidentiality, make a note of who it is. Remind them that President Trump hates leaks. Emphasize, in writing, your willingness to obey, but note that if anything embarrassing leaks it will be on their head.
Quality work requires preparation. Rushing creates errors. Haste makes waste. Waste creates liability. Liability requires documentation. You see where this is going.
