Ceding Our Above-the-Fold Real Estate to Chef Jose Andres
The founder of World Central Kitchen has a few words on the 4th anniversary of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Look at these freaking numbers:
Since those first days in 2022, WCK has served more than 295 million meals to Ukrainians surviving the war—at train stations and border crossings, in de-occupied towns, and in cities under constant attack.
When power and heat are cut in winter, we bring hot meals. When supply chains are disrupted, we find new ways to cook and deliver food safely.
Chef Jose plans meal delivery with President Zelenskyy.
We have innovated alongside Ukrainians every step of the way. We launched community kitchens to allow displaced families to cook for themselves with dignity. We delivered frontline food kits to families living closest to the fighting. We responded immediately after Russian strikes to serve first responders and families picking up the pieces.
On this anniversary, we honor the thousands of Ukrainians who have made this work possible. We especially honor our friends, volunteers, and all humanitarians who have been killed simply because they believed their neighbors deserved care and nourishment. Their courage demands that we continue.
We will keep cooking.
We will keep innovating.
And we will keep standing with Ukraine.
If you feel so inclined, you can donate to World Central Kitchen here.
Supersize your donation and they’ll add extra cheese to every meal.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 3, 2026
Note: A minor correction this morning. The walrus was not Paul. It was ABBA. Please update your playlists accordingly.
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By the Numbers:
3 days!!!
Days 'til we flip our clocks ahead: 5
Days 'til the Farm-to-Table Expo in Pittsburgh: 3
Minimum number of CyberTipline reports tied to AI-generated child sexual abuse material that the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children received in just nine months: 1 million
Percent increase in reports of child exploitation and generative AI in the first six months of 2025 alone, compared to 2023 and 2024 combined: 600%
Age of Iran's Supreme Leader Khamenei when he was killed by Israel: 86
Percent chance that, alongside educators Catherine Beecher and Booker T. Washington, there's a huge banner hanging from the Department of Education building celebrating community college dropout Charlie Kirk as a "hero of American Education": 100%
Current odds of Senator John Fetterman (D-PA) winning a primary race when he's up for reelection: 0%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Buddy takes a therapeutic dip…
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JEERS to World War III: Day 4. Two things. First, anyone on the right who tries to claim that our glorious imperial attack on Iran isn’t a war, I give you the money quote—via ABC News—from Pete Hegseth, who literally proclaims himself the Secretary of War: "We didn't start this war, but we are finishing it." Everybody clear on that? (Gold star to you for being so quick on the stick, Wikipedia.)
And second, our one sane Maine senator, Angus King, weighed in on—what are they calling it again, Operation Testicle Tanner? Oh wait, no, silly me, it’s Operation Epstein Fury—the carnage unleashed by the stupidest American leaders in our history. As a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee and the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, He has questions. These are them:
1) Why hasn’t President Trump made the case to the American people (and to their representatives in Congress) for such a major commitment of American forces, which could include troops on the ground?
Angus is not amused.
2) Why now? All reports were that negotiations with regard to Iran’s nuclear program were proceeding positively this week with the possibility of a long sought-after diplomatic solution, and there is no indication that new malign actions by the regime were imminent.
3) What, if any, is the plan for an endgame now that the goal has moved from elimination of Iran’s nuclear capacity to regime change?
4) What is the legal and Constitutional authority for this extraordinary action? The Constitution explicitly places the power (and the responsibility) for taking our country into war in the peoples’ representatives in Congress for a reason—the commitment to war is much too important to rest in the hands of one person.
Meanwhile our other Senator, the perpetually-concerned Susan Collins, only has one question: "Can someone explain to me how doorknobs work again?"
CHEERS to choosing sides. Meanwhile, there's another American war today—the war between the primary candidates on U.S. soil. And all eyes are mostly on Texas, where the fighting is fierce in the U.S. Senate races. On the left: Talarico vs. Crockett! On the right: Cornyn vs. Paxton! Whoever hops up on a mechanical bull first and cranks it up to the "guaranteed spinal trauma" setting wins a bunch of strange looks because that's not how primaries work! While they're sorting all that out, primaries will also be held in Arkansas and North Carolina, where, says the AP, "voters will provide some of the first concrete evidence for what they want as President Donald Trump’s second term approaches the halfway mark." Other than reading his obituary, that is.
CHEERS to fun things a president can do as his country disintegrates during a Great Depression. On March 3, 1931, President Herbert Hoobert Heebert signed a measure making "The Star-Spangled Banner"—which our current president still doesn’t know the words to—our official national anthem. Hey, let's all sing the third stanza! And a-one and a-two...
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore,
Fun fact: Francis Scott Key originally wrote ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ for solo alpine horn.
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion
A home and a Country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash’d out their foul footstep’s pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave,
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
On second thought, let's just stick with the first.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to helping hands. Happy Peace Corps Week! The organization that John F. Kennedy built in ‘61 turns 65 this week, and unless Elon Musk dissolved it last year, it's still crankin' out the good works:
Many remember the beloved Peace Corps public service campaign that ran for three decades—an invitation to embrace “the toughest job you’ll ever love.” To celebrate its 65th anniversary, the Peace Corps renews its call to serve by inviting all American citizens to challenge themselves to live in a different culture, build lasting bonds, and work hand in hand with communities to transform lives for generations.
JFK greets Peace Corps volunteers in 1962.
By meeting challenges head on, Peace Corps Volunteers extend the spirit of adventure and innovation that made our country, which will this year celebrate the 250th year of its founding.
A great deal has been accomplished since 1961, when the first Volunteers took an oath to work alongside overseas communities. Over the past six-and-a-half decades, nearly 250,000 Volunteers have served in 144 countries around the world, collaborating with counterparts and community members in support of community-led development. Today, Peace Corps Volunteers continue to apply their spirit, grit, and ingenuity, building relationships worldwide.
Sixty-five years later, it's still "the toughest job you'll ever love." Especially if you bring a few cases of Bacardi with you. And limes. Without the limes it's intolerable.
CHEERS to strange holidays. I gotta "hand" it to whoever came up with this one. Today is What If Cats And Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day. I'm not supposed to do this, but because you’ve been such a great audience, I can let you in on a little—[whispers]—top secret intel:
Poker games would certainly be more interesting.
If cats and dogs had opposable thumbs, the world would be a better place. Yes, they'd wreck our kitchens with their constant culinary experimentation, but they'd also retrieve and bury all our weapons of mass destruction including guns and nukes and Trumps. How do I know this? I'm not at liberty to say—you'll have to ask the mad scientist across the street. (Speak loudly—she’s 134 and refuses to change the batteries in her Bel-Tone.)
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 3, 2016
JEERS to modern-day Sergeant Schultzes. Three recent examples of why we need strong regulations and transparency laws:
1) For years Exxon knew all about the looming calamities that climate change would bring, yet they said"We know nnnnothing!" and withheld their data so they could capitalize on it for profit.
2) For months Michigan Governor Rick Snyder knew all about the poisoning of Flint's water supply, yet he said "I know nnnnothing!" and let the poisoning continue to save a few bucks.
3) For months Tokyo Electric knew that three of its Fukushima reactors had melted down, yet they said "We know nnnnothing!" and let everyone believe the situation wasn't as bad as it actually was.
They're all sorry, of course. As in, sorry for getting caught
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And just one more…
CHEERS to sparklers in…March??? Great question, thanks for asking! The answer is YES! Fact is, when you go outside on a clear night and let your eyes adjust, you'll see a whole universe above you. And what is this universe doing, you ask? Another great question! The elves at NASA—those who haven’t been fired yet by Elon Musk, anyway—always let us in on the big celestial events for the month. Here’s a look at March’s sky-watching tips, including the lunar eclipse that just happened (oops), and a game of footsies between Saturn and Venus:
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Now look up at the stars and smile real big. Then put your fingers in your nostrils, stick out your tongue, turn around and bare your tuchus. Just in case someone up there is watching, let’s give ‘em a good show.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"WE WON! Justice—and humor—prevail! Bill in Portland Maine Gives Reprieve To PB4WESPLASHINTHEC&JKIDDIEPOOL License Plate."
—Seth Bykofsky
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