Life Lessons and Other Bits from May Birthday Kids
“Don't say things. What you are stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Seems like a good time to remind everyone that Donald Trump votes by mail."
—Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR)
Continued...
May birthdays continued...
"I know those challenges that come up from time to time in life are our little learning tools, our little stepping stones. If we didn't have those things in our life, how would we learn anything? We would just be walking around like nothing. We need those obstacles in our life because I know one thing—I'm a much better person for them."
—Gladys Knight
"Four months ago, a violent mob stormed the Capitol. Then our democracy picked itself up, dusted itself off, and we inaugurated a new President just two weeks later. We have a long way to go to heal this country, but we have a leader in the White House who can do it with heart."
—Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)
“I was born very far from where I'm supposed to be, and so I'm on my way home.”
—Bob Dylan
“The reason I made women's issues central to American foreign policy was not because I was a feminist, but because we know that societies are more stable if women are politically and economically empowered.”
—Secretary of State Madeleine Albright
"When the Republican candidate inscribes the slogan Down With Socialism on the banner of his 'great crusade,' that is really not what he means at all. What he really means is, 'Down with Progress—down with Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal and down with Harry Truman's Fair Deal.' That is what he means."
—President Harry Truman
“All men are created equal. No matter how hard they try, they can never erase those words. That is what America is about.”
—Harvey Milk
“To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.”
—Tina Fey
To the above and those in our Daily Kos community who make another trip around the sun this month: happy birthday and many blessings on your camels.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 11, 2021
Note: Major milestone alert. Eleven years ago today we registered for a Twitter account. 5,163 followers later, we're still cranking out messages that, when read backward, reveal our official orders from George Soros. (Today's: take over the world by infusing every animal, vegetable and mineral with bamboo fibers.) If you'd like to join our exclusive, frequently-merry band of scofflaws—including liveblogging Star Trek reruns most nights from 8-9 via the H&I TV network—feel free to follow us at @BillinPortland. Now that we got that out of the way: where would you like your bamboo infusion?
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Rapture Party Day: 10
Percent of Americans polled by CBS News who believe President Biden's plans will help them or hurt them, respectively: 74%, 12%
Percent of red-hatted cultists polled by CBS News who say it's "very important" that Republicans continue to pledge loyalty to the twice-impeached 45th president who lost his reelection bid: 46%
Rank of ABC News, CNN, The New York Times and MSNBC among news outlets most considered to be the "mainstream media," according to a new Pew poll: #1, #2, #3, #4
Trust in the U.S. government in January and today, respectively, according to polling by Morning Consult: 39%, 48%
Number of mega-warehouses (over 100k sq. feet) in California whose owners will have to operate with cleaner vehicles, as regulators set new rules to deal with higher pollution as a result of the spike in e-commerce: 3,000
Portion of Americans polled by Morning Consult who say they're comfortable going to the movies now: 4-in-10
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Tuesday smooches…
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CHEERS to shifting the bigot machine into reverse. The transgender community is in an interesting situation circa 2021. As the red-hatted cult's new villains, anti-trans laws in red states are being passed as fast as they can be written, almost all of them targeting trans kids at home and in school. Violence against patriotic, taxpaying trans Americans are exceedingly high. And too many parents are still physically and emotionally scarring their trans sons and daughters because, Waaaah, it's just too hard to do some book-learnin' on it and maybe adjust their attitude a bit.
On the other hand: polls show a big spike in support (66%) for trans rights, a lot more parents are supporting their trans kids, and now the might of the most powerful government on earth is back in their corner:
The Biden administration is reversing a policy introduced under former President Donald Trump that limited protections for transgender people in health care, the Department of Health and Human Services announced on Monday.
In a victory for LGBTQ advocates, the change will bar health care providers and other health-related organizations who receive federal funding from discriminating based on someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation.
HHS Secretary Xavier Becerra said in a statement: "It is the position of the Department of Health and Human Services that everyone—including LGBTQ people—should be able to access health care, free from discrimination or interference, period.”
Secretary Becerra also said the federal government will offer a service to help Trump supporters transition back into human beings. An announcement will be made just as soon as they find a pipe wrench big enough to unscrew red hats off big dumb heads.
JEERS to power-mad idiots doing that power-mad idiot thing that power-mad idiots do. Let's crack the door open a bit and take a peek at how the internal battle for the soul of the Republican party—once the proud stomping grounds of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower—is going.
[Creeeeak...]
On the bright side: love what you’ve done with your hair, Liz.
JEERS to America—land of the guns, home of the gun nuts.
What happens in the wake of the massacre in Newtown Aurora Binghamton Tucson Santa Barbara Charleston Lafayette Roseburg Kalamazoo Orlando Alexandria Las Vegas Parkland Benton Pittsburgh Thousand Oaks Aurora Poway Highlands Ranch Virginia Beach Gilroy El Paso Dayton Midland/Odessa Fresno Milwaukee Atlanta Boulder etcetera etcetera etcetera Colorado Springs (7 shot dead at a birthday party in a mobile home park on Mother's Day) is depressingly predictable: the community will grieve. Gun control advocates, supported by the president and Democrats in Congress, will suggest that this might be a good time to review our federal and state firearms policies so that our nation's shameful record of gun violence might be improved upon. Republican leaders and their red-hatted orcs will blame Democrats for the carnage and urge every living soul and their pets to arm themselves to the teeth, and the NRA (minus Wayne LaPierre, who is cowering on his buddy’s yacht again because he feels so threatened) will insist it's "too soon" to talk about gun control as they continue scaring politicians into looking the other way by informing them that, "We'll be scoring you on your response." Like I said, predictable. Depressingly.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to going down to your great reward in the eternal hellfires. He was a big-mouth Christian charlatan—a grifter so shameless he spent his flock's charitable gifts on a747 and so hypocritical he schtupped the gay guys he condemned from his pulpit. I remember watching snippets of his sermons when I was growing up in Ohio and thinking, "what a weirdo." Yup—a weirdo for God who lasted 99 years on this planet because God didn’t want him stinking up his clouds. Goodbye and good riddance, Ernest Angley. This guy:
"Finally, I can get this damn smelly thing off me," said his toupee.
CHEERS to fuzzy math. Well, at least fuzzy mathematicians. Einstein's theory of relativity ("The Foundation of the General Theory of Relativity" to be precise) was presented 103 years ago today in front of the Prussian Academy of Sciences. His later words:
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."
Or sit with Marjorie Taylor-Greene for a second and it seems like forever. That’s eternity.
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 11, 2011
CHEERS to spreading the love around. Fifteen states not named Florida are getting the $2 billion that Florida Governor Rick Scott rejected for high-speed rail projects. That means other states will get new trains, new rails, new bridges, new stations, new hopes, new dreams, new progress, new excitement! Wheeeee!!! Thanks for all the infrastructure cash, Governor Scott.
The bulk of the $2 billion is to go the congested Washington-New York-Boston corridor, where $795 million in improvements should allow trains to run at 160 mph on a stretch where they are currently limited to 135 mph. Another $404 million will go toward increasing speeds to 110 mph between Chicago and Detroit.
Yes, Florida Governor Rick Scott is the awesomest governor ever…for every state except Florida.
[5/11/21 Update: I hope Biden does a better job this time around, because 10 years later I couldn’t tell you where the rail money went, especially after my 2019 trip to Netroots Nation in Philadelphia. The Downeaster to Boston was rickety and rough, and the Acela Express from Boston to Philly achieved top speed for about five minutes. But...great chow.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to well-earned rewards. You've been so great this week. You've fought the good fight against misinformation and its more nefarious cousin disinformation. You've followed sensible Covid-19 safety measures. You've been kind to people and animals and plant life. And, dammit, that makes you an exceptional human. So, since it's Friday evening and we're already shnockered, I think you deserve a little fresh Randy Rainbow. And this is a great one...
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Oops! Scratch that. I just looked and it's only Tuesday morning. Don’t watch that or I'll have to call the proper authorities. Now get back to work, slackers. If you need anything, ask the assistant manager. I have this mysterious hangover to deal with.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“Just please everyone, keep getting vaccinated so we can all pack the stands and boo against Bill in Portland Maine.”
—Jake Tapper
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