Lest We Forget (which Republicans would love)
One year ago today, the 45th president—a Republican—made history by becoming the first to be impeached twice. The first time for trying to extort favors from Ukraine—via his “perfect phone call”—to help him win the 2020 election, and the second for inciting a bloody insurrection when all the “traitor to democracy’s” election rigging failed:
President Trump gravely endangered the security of the United States and its institutions of Government. He threatened the integrity of the democratic system, interfered with the peaceful transition of power, and imperiled a coequal branch of Government. He thereby betrayed his trust as President, to the manifest injury of the people of the United States.
Continued...
Wherefore, Donald John Trump, by such conduct, has demonstrated that he will remain a threat to national security, democracy, and the Constitution if allowed to remain in office, and has acted in a manner grossly incompatible with self-governance and the rule of law. Donald John Trump thus warrants impeachment and trial, removal from office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust, or profit under the United States.
To get you up to speed one year later: the Republican-led Senate failed to convict him, a January 6 House Select Committee chaired by Bennie Thompson and Liz Cheney was formed, over 340 witnesses have been interviewed, and major criminal investigations of The Thing From Mar-A-Lago are also underway in New York and Georgia. To be continued. Hopefully faster.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, January 13, 2022
Note: Today is National Rubber Ducky Day. C&J's mascot Kevin the Socialist Duckstick will be in the kiddie pool today, so be sure to say squeak.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Abraham Lincoln turns 214: 30
Portion of Americans now totally vaccinated: 2/3
Number of lives saved by vaccines during the first six months of 2021, according to NBC News: 241,000
Percent chance that a judge has ruled that Gruyere cheese does not have to come from the Gruyere region of Europe to be sold under the Gruyere name: 100%
Age of Oreos as of 2022: 110
Rank of Mary, Dorothy, and Helen among the top baby girl names in 1922: #1, #2, #3
Rank of John, Robert, and William among the top baby boy names in 1922: #1, #2, #3
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Contrary to the paranoid fantasists on The Wall Street Journal's editorial page, populists are not motivated by some burning resentment of the rich—we don't spend our lives in an envious funk that someone else is better off than we are.
"No skin off my nose" is the general attitude, with others coming in at "Lucky them" or "Good for them." The problem is that the rich are screwing up our democracy. Less than 0.1 percent of the U.S. population gave 83 percent of all itemized campaign contributions for the 2002 elections, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. According to the Houston Chronicle, just 48 wealthy Texas families provided more than half the campaign funds for the major Republican state candidates this fall.
How dumb do you have to be not to be able to connect the dots here? Law, policy and regulation are consistently shaped to favor the rich over the rest of us, and that, dammit, is not fair, it is not right, it is not the country we want and for which we are asked to sacrifice.
—January, 2003
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Puppy Bowl preview…
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CHEERS to gravity. What goes up must come down. And thankfully Omicron's 15 weeks of fame might be coming to an end:
America's tally of new cases ticked down slightly for the first time since Christmas, a USA TODAY analysis of Johns Hopkins University data shows. […]
Boston has been a hot spot, but Dr. Mark Siedner of Massachusetts General Hospital told CBS in Boston there are early signs the city has "turned a corner." One of those signs is a wastewater tracking system—virus particles found in wastewater are no longer infectious but can still be measured and can reflect trends among people contributing to the wastewater.
“The wastewater data are in, and the news is good," tweeted Bill Hanage, associate professor at Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health. The data is "providing solid evidence, that importantly can't be put down to exhausted testing capacity or other factors."
"Solid evidence." Huhhhuhhuh. Professor made a poop joke.
JEERS to gravity defiance. And sometimes what goes up just doesn't feel like coming back down. Exhibit A:
Consumer prices rose by 7 percent in December over the previous year, its fastest increase since the early 1980s, as companies raised prices to offset pandemic-driven supply chain issues—and also took the opportunity to increase profit margins on the back of brisk consumer spending.
The latest Consumer Price Index data, released Wednesday by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, marks the third consecutive month in which the index, a measure of what consumers pay for goods and services, rose by more than 6 percent.
According to the reports, inflation grew fastest in three sectors: housing, vehicles, and Marjorie Taylor-Greene's ego.
CHEERS to one of the good guys. On this date 44 years ago, Minnesota Senator Hubert Humphrey of Minnesota—aka Mayor of Minneapolis, LBJ's vice president, 1968 presidential candidate (great platform except for supporting the Vietnam War) and fierce advocate in the war on poverty—died much too young at 66. He was wise:
"Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism."
"Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law."
“We seek an America able to preserve and nurture all the basic rights of free expression, yet able to reach across the divisions that too often separate race from race, region from region, young from old, worker from scholar, rich from poor. We seek an America able to do this in the higher knowledge that our goals and ideals are worthy of conciliation and personal sacrifice.”
"Liberalism, above all, means emancipation—emancipation from one's fears, his inadequacies, from prejudice, from discrimination, from poverty."
And a special shout-out from Humphrey to the QAnon cult: "The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." Amen.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to the fate of the republic. President Biden, who remains unable to do much to prevent Republicans from committing widespread voter suppression and election nullification, gave a speech in Atlanta this week calling on Senate Democrats to carve out an exception to the filibuster rule and pass robust voting rights legislation. The two holdouts remain Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona and Joe Manchin of West Virginia. For her part, Sinema appears ready to play ball:
And for his part, as of this morning Joe Manchin says he's ready to throw his party a life ring. Just as soon as the cement hardens.
CHEERS to discus lite. Wham-O began producing the "Frisbee" 65 years ago today. Ever wonder where the name comes from?
The Frisbie Baking Company (1871-1958) of Bridgeport, Connecticut, made pies that were sold to many New England colleges. Hungry college students soon discovered that the empty pie tins could be tossed and caught, providing endless hours of game and sport.
Many colleges have claimed to be the home of 'he who was first to fling.' Yale College has even argued that in 1820, a Yale undergraduate named Elihu Frisbie grabbed a passing collection tray from the chapel and flung it out into the campus, thereby becoming the true inventor of the Frisbie and winning glory for Yale. That tale is unlikely to be true since the words 'Frisbie's Pies' was embossed in all the original pie tins and from the word 'Frisbie' was coined the common name for the toy.
Frisbees remind me of the Republican party: Lightweight, logic as contorted as a no-look reverse-flick backhanded corkscrew air bounce, and the only thing keeping them aloft is spin.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 13, 2012
CHEERS to doin' it Martian-style. NASA reports that the Mars Science Laboratory—aka that thing up in the sky goin' to Mars—has been firing its thrusters this week. In response, the American Family Association called for an immediate boycott of NASA for such disgusting behavior.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the Class of 2022. Hey, did you know that there's a National Aviation Hall of Fame? It's true, I looked it up! Members range from the Wright Brothers to Amelia Earhart and astronauts galore. And last month they inducted five new members into their ranks. Happy to see that women outnumber men in this year's impressive class:
(The late) Willa Brown The first African American female to earn a pilot’s license in the U.S. first to run for Congress, first African American to become a Civil Air Patrol officer, and trainer of over 200 Tuskegee Airmen.
(The late) Joe Clark Founder of the blended winglet, which enhances the performance of airplanes by impacting sustainability in less fuel consumption, longer aircraft range, and reduced carbon emissions.
Margaret Hamilton Coined the term “Software Engineer” to describe her role in developing the in-flight systems software, and Priority Displays for the Apollo command module, lunar lander, and Skylab. Also perfected broomstick flight stability in her homeland of Oz. (Ha Ha Ha, not really, I just wrote that!)
Story Musgrave Pilot, physician, mechanic, and former NASA astronaut. Second astronaut to fly on six spaceflights, and only astronaut to fly aboard all five Space Shuttles.
(The late) Geraldine “Jerrie” Mock First woman to fly solo around the world, fly around the world as pilot in command, fly across two oceans, and first to fly across the Pacific in a single-engine plane.
You can see the lengthy list of enshrinees here. They’re each given a plaque, a medal and, best of all, the knowledge that they have the know-how to spend some time off the surface of this fucking planet.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
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