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Dispatch from THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 19, 2004: Iowa Caucus edition
CHEERS to Iowans. It all boils down to this. Do your duty tonight and show us the way. Then we'll disappear and leave you in peace. Thanks for having us!
JEERS to polls. Even media admits they mean little since they can be wildly inaccurate. So why do they top every caucus news story? `Cause we love our numbers.
CHEERS or JEERS to caucus weather forecast. No storms, but single-digit temps may keep not-so-fanatical (read: Edwards, Kerry) and elderly (read: Gephardt) voters home. I always thought Mother Nature was a Deaniac.
CHEERS to Judy Dean. Stumps with hubbie in Iowa. Her smile could light up...good gracious...Des Moines. But how dare you abandon your patients like that---what kind of independent career woman are you?
JEERS to Jimmy Carter photo-op. Took up valuable caucus time for Dean with little in return. And rumor has it Dean made the call, not Jimmy? Tsk.
JEERS to John Kerry. The strain of the campaign shows mightily in those craggy lines and dark eyes. And what's with that little vomiting expression you make with your tongue every 10 seconds---that's new. Are you really up to the demands of the oval office?
CHEERS to Dick Gephardt. I don't want you to win the caucus, sir. But I will be profoundly sad when you lose and bow out with your usual grace and dignity. Please, Dr. Dean...a juicy cabinet post for this gentle man.
CHEERS to Tom Schaller. Excellent Iowa commentary brightens up Kos blog. Thanks for taking the time, man. And Kos, thanks for putting him front and center.
JEERS to ABC's This Week. Two minutes of Dean, followed by 20 minutes of Kerry, and zippo on Edwards or Gephardt. Maybe Fox IS the fair and balanced network, after all.
CHEERS to Tom Brokaw on Meet the Press roundtable. Of all the anchors on TV, he towers above the rest. I'd give my left you-know-what to have his pipes.
CHEERS to Bill Maher. Real Time is back on HBO and it makes The Daily Show look like a kindergarten skit. Great Clark interview (ahh...it was his brother in law's sweater). But what drug was rabid Ron Silver taking?
CHEERS to George McGovern. Endorses Clark, sparing People Powered Howard the cement boots of further comparisons to '72 loser. But I'll breathe easier when Dukakis and Mondale endorsements are in the bag for the general.
JEERS to RNC chairman Ed Gillespie. With that bad haircut and evil Paul Lynde grin, he epitomizes the sleazy Republican. Someone get me a Handi-WipeTM...for my soul.
What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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