It looks like Laura, my wife is going to stop breastfeeding the baby soon. Our little girl, Anwen, is kind of weaning herself off the breast and corporate America is making it very difficult for my wife to keep it up. Those breasts need regular stimulation to keep production up and that just is not happening. For some reason, the execs don't like you to hike up your shirt in the middle of a meeting and turn on the breast pump. That
shuuuump-shuuuuump-shuuuuump sucking noise apparently distracts them from weightier matters such as cutting the housekeeping staff's hours.
It's hard to say who is sleepier here, my wife or my daughter...
I am really proud of my wife, she has struggled to keep up breast feeding for this long. She has some other medical issues that can make breast feeding difficult, but this was tremendously important to her. Our baby is over seven months old; we both wish we could keep it up longer, but we are grateful that is has lasted as long as it has.
It's a sad commentary on what we as a society think of the human body and the female breast that the first time I really saw breastfeeding was at the age of thirty-five in a parenting class on a dvd. I mean, sitting there in a roomful of expectant women and one other prospective father (who studiously ignored the images on the television and pored over the New Daddy Boot Camp brochure) I experienced a stunning sense of cognitive dissonance. For several minutes I sat there thinking to myself Oh my God - that's what those things are for! That's why women have them! I knew that, but I didn't know that. I didn't grok it.
I'm going to admit it: I check women out, face, breasts, the whole package. Call me sexist or call me a typical guy, I have done so for as long as I can remember and will probably do so until I die.
Silly as it sounds, since that day in that parenting class, I find myself sizing up human breasts in two very different ways. First, I am checking out their sexual appeal. But immediately following that I find myself thinking: with boobs so small, she'd better plan on getting a Boppy so the baby can reach them, or wow, those are big! She'll have to use the football hold for her kid.
Watching my daughter breastfeed for the first time was a transformative event. I suddenly saw the human body as wholly sacred. Our baby ate and went to sleep between my wife's breasts and I remember shaking with love and awe as I sat beside them, with their eyes closed and my wife's hands over that tiny, tiny body.
Oh, I was so jealous of the intimacy between the two of them! My wife had my daughter all to herself and when she was feeding her it was as if the two of them shared a kind of special and holy bond that I was outside of. I would actually get angry because I could not participate in that special experience.
Though there was one time I came close: late at night I was bringing Anwen to Laura so she could feed and I did not have a shirt on. Without any warning my daughter latched onto my breast! I was in shock with two thoughts: first, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Second, I have got to lose some weight!
I'm no longer jealous. In fact, I'm a little sad to see that it is coming to an end. There is something that is so magical about mother feeding child. I do think it is sick that our society is so sex obsessed in a negative way that breastfeeding in public is even an issue. For God's sake, it is the healthiest source of food for the child. And yet women are still arrested every now and again for public indecency or similar nonsense for breastfeeding. Lest there be any doubt, the law is on the woman's side. Nowhere in the United States is it illegal to breastfeed in public and seventeen states have specific laws protecting the rights of nursing mothers.
I guess the whole point of this post is to simply express my gratitude that I got to be a part of this process, even if from the outside. My wife has taught me new things about the meaning of love as I have watched her do this. I would strongly urge any prospective parent to consider breastfeeding. Trust me, even as a husband, you will feel a part of what is going on if you let yourself become a part of the routine and ritual.
For more info if you are curious:
The La Leche League
For some cartoons and views on breastfeeding in public:
Some Thoughts About Breastfeeding in Public
I am crossposting this to Street Prophets and my blog, The Kilted Liberal. All these blogs have very different audiences and I am curious about the reception this will recieve
