I've seen a lot of people on Daily Kos talking about how they enjoy the satire of Pastor John. I'm writing this diary because a brief thread that took place in Armando's
diary on Reid bashers from the right this past weekend. In the diary,
this thread occurs, where Pastor John is mentioned. Armando and I insist that Pastor John is serious. I cite the other blogs Pastor John contributes to, and this is enough to convince even Maryscott O'Connor, the Queen of Snark. So I figure, if I can convince Maryscott, maybe I can convince everyone else on DKos.
Pastor John is not the satirical genius you all think he is. I imagine he is what Pastor Dan would be like in Bizarro World.
I started off my `research' by visiting Pastor John's blog,
Fighting the Homosexual Agenda. At first, I couldn't tell whether it was serious or satire. A post like the following one can easily be interpreted either way:
what is a liberal?
sometimes i am asked, what is a liberal? well, i am here to tell you. the first thing you should know is that liberals are tricky, like leprechauns and squirrels. do not lend them money because they will spend it on raunchy nickelodeons and anal lubricants, and then they will not pay you back, instead they will give the money to the federal government or to a cuban book club. this happened to me many times before i was the wise man i am today. though most liberals are homosexual in some way, some are bisexuals. the bisexual is one of the liberals' strongest recruiting tools. bisexuals are constantly on a mission to steal good christian husbands and wives away from their spouses. they will lure you with promises of threesomes with famous hollywood liberal communists, but then they will take you down the path of bestiality - there is nothing a liberal likes more than to coerce a good conservative man or woman into sexual relations with a horse or large dog. and usually liberals will invite their liberal judge friends to watch. and then the trial lawyers and the masons will videotape the whole thing and sell it to children. you might think i exaggerate, but today i am going easy on the liberals, believe it or not. tomorrow maybe i will reveal the full extent of their evil demonry.
http://virginiarepublican.blogspot.com/2005/05/what-is-liberal.html
HAHAHA! I see why you think he's a satirist. Either he is the funniest man on the planet, or he is more evil than Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and Tom DeLay combined. But let's check it out to see which is the case.
On the right hand of the screen is a link to his profile. When I clicked it, I didn't find the bio was hoping for, but instead there was a list of Pastor John's other blogs. Pastor John is the sole writer on Fighting the Homosexual Agenda, but he is also a contributing blogger on Valley Sense (with "Bogus Fishbarrel", "Old Denmark" and "La Orilla") and Kilgore for Governor (with "Patriotic Conservative" and "Southside Virginian"). Let's take a look at Pastor John's partner's in crime:
- Southside Virginian- profile lists him as posting on Kilgore for Governor and nothing else
- Bogus Fishbarrel - profile lists him as posting on Valley Sense and nothing else.
- Old Denmark - has kept his profile private (wonder what he's hiding...).
- La Orilla - has a profile with a bit more personal information. He lists his favorite books as "The Dream and the Nightmare" and "The Tragedy of American Compassion". According to Amazon, they are both written with conservative points of view. La Orilla is also listed as a blogger for Commonwealth Watch, along with Abitmorered, BA Baracus, Confused Calamity Jane, DefConVA, Walt Ball, Mr. Cushing, NoMoreKaine, Poli Amateur, and ValleyWatchDog. None of those names sound snarky to me. Abitmorered has a profile describing himself as a "Middle/Right "red" Republican." None of the other Commonwealth Watch bloggers have other blogs or mention anything in their profiles that would provide evidence about their political slants.
- Patriotic Conservative - Now this one, I think is funny. He lists "The Passion of the Christ" as one of his favorite movies. Also, it says he has two blogs he operates independently. The first is My Everyday Life (which he subtitles "Nothing in particular, just the things that go on in my life, day-to-day") is a forum for whining. Here is the most recent example...
Conflicted, confused
So incredibly torn right now. It feels wrong to go out and "look" for a girlfriend, when I know that God has a plan in store for me. Yet, I'm tired of waiting. I look around and see the happiness and joy in my friends' lives and I become painfully aware of my singleness. Some people would tell me to enjoy being single while I can, and I have. But I want someone to love, to hold close and tell her I love her, to snuggle with and cry with, to share my dreams and secrets with. I feel like I'm passing up my opportunity if I keep waiting, as God would have me do. I know that He remains true to his promises, but the wait is becoming unbearable.
http://everydayrudy.blogspot.com/2005/05/conflicted-confused.html
Seems pathetic, but not satirical.
His other blog is Musings of a Young Conservative, subtitled "A hardcore independent conservative lets loose his opinions on the general public". In it, he rants about liberals denouncing the Iraq War, cites Margaret Thatcher's support for John Bolton, but then again he rants against REAL ID, too. Patriotic Conservative seems to be a Libertarian/Conservative who throws in with the Bush administration and Republican Congress on most, but not all, instances.
These bloggers all appear to be serious and conservative. I doubt any of them would blog with someone they suspected was a liberal who was actually satirizing them.
Ok, back to Pastor John's blogs...
Kilgore for Governor is not an especially noteworthy blog. There is no satire on this site; Pastor John and the other bloggers support the Republican Ed Kilgore over the Democrat Tim Kaine. That is their prerogative. Of course, I hope Kaine wins and Warner heads over to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but I digress...
Perusing the comments on Fighting the Homosexual Agenda, Valley Sense and Kilgore for Governor, it appears that most of the comments fall under two categories. The first is the group of liberals who are incensed with Pastor John's hate speech. The other category are comments by Pastor John's co-bloggers, discussing the evils of liberalism and homosexuality, while making sure to pat themselves on the backs.
Then there was this one...
Even Patriotic Conservative thought that went too far. Pastor John admitted he was taken in by his anger. Isn't that a sin, Pastor Dan?
I will provide one more example that I feel demonstrates Pastor John is not satire, and if you still don't believe me, then enjoy his `satire'. Pastor John displays the following post as one of his personal favorites:
what the illegal immigrants really want: your children
illegal immigrants are arriving on the shores of virginia every day. some come in tire tubes and others come in shuttle boats driven by liberals. they're infesting our countryside and damaging the purity of this nation.
but few people really know the true danger of illegals, because the liberal media doesn't want to tell you. they're floating up on their tire tubes towards the ocean shore and snatching up children. i recently read a report on newsmax.com that told me that this was a problem especially in new orleans where these free loaders are floating up from mexico, stealing children, then trading them on the black market for illegal drugs and big sombreros.
this rice and beans crowd needs to be locked up. it's time we took a real stand and threatened military action against mexico if they don't stop sending these illegals our way. but it won't happen soon because the liberal media won't tell you the whole story.
http://virginiarepublican.blogspot.com/2005/04/what-illegal-immigrants-really-want.html
In the comments, an anonymous poster writes:
Anonymous said...
This is by far the funniest post I have read in a long time. Keep up the great work!! (you should link to jesus' general, at www.patriotboy.blogspot.com)
9:37 AM
And what is Pastor John's response?
Pastor John said...
anonymous that site is obviously a hack parody from someone who hates jesus. do not confuse this site for that.
10:17 AM
It seems clear that "Anonymous" thinks that Pastor John is satire. Pastor John's response makes clear that he is not amused by satire that makes fun of the right. The site "Anonymous" references, "Jesus' General: A 10 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender", is true satire. In the top right corner of the site is a picture of the Buddy Jesus wearing a military helmet and standing in front of an American flag.
To be thorough, I sent an email to the address Pastor John lists on his blog. Here is my email...
I have heard about your blog from some of the people who read Daily Kos. They seem to think that you are writing satire and not serious. Can you please let me know if this is the case?
Also, are you actually a pastor or is that a joke? If you are, what is your denomination and what church do you preach in?
I appreciate your response.
Sincerely,
Muboshgu
As of this moment, I have not received any response. And I don't expect I will. If he does respond, I will post it as an update.
Update [2005-5-20 10:31:15 by Muboshgu]: Here is his response...
Sat, 14 May 2005 13:27:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Pastor John"
To: howardnewville@yahoo.com
Subject: liberal swine
i want you to know that i read your post on dailykos and i'm not afraid. i won't tell you what church i'm at because i'm afraid you'll send someone to get me. i don't trust the fbi or the atf for that matter.
regards,
john
