Subtitle: "But I'm Supposed to Stay on Script!"
Sometimes, you do get a second chance to make a first impression.
Last week, our phone rang and the caller ID was from an area code I didn't recognize. Now, most telemarketers will show up on my phone as "unavailable," and I do have some pretty far flung relatives, so I went ahead and answered it.
The caller asked for me by name, and then went into her spiel. About a dozen words into her script I heard the phrase "on behalf of the Republican National Convention," and there I cut her off cold.
"Please take me off your call list," I said. "I'm a passionate Democrat who is committed to taking back America from you all."
After I hung up, I had one of those staircase moments when I wished I'd have kept her on the line longer to hear and maybe argue some of her talking points. Know thy enemy, and all that.
So when the phone rang again yesterday, I was ready.
This time they asked for my husband. When I told the caller that he wasn't available, and asked if I could take a message, she asked, "Is this Mrs. Brown?"
Oh boy, I thought, and the fun began. I scooted over to our computer, put the phone on speaker, and did my darndest to transcribe the whole conversation.
Enjoy!
Caller: (sounds young, female--maybe college aged.) Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Tom Reynolds and the Republican National Convention. We're asking for your help today. The Democrats are spending millions of dollars on attack ads....
Me: (interrupting, but friendly; pleasant) Really? Millions of dollars? That's a lot of money!
Caller: Yes, Millions of dollars on ....
Me: (interrupting again) Wow, that's a lot of money. Where do they get it?
Caller: (a bit confused) I don't know... they...they have supporters who make donations, I guess, and that's why...
Me: That must be a lot of supporters! Is there a list somewhere where I can see where millions of dollars are coming from?
Caller: Um, I'm not sure. But they spend millions of dollars on these attack ads...
Me: Millions of dollars? How can that number be verified? I mean, that's a pretty big number. Can you give me a link to a website or something that shows a budget report?
Caller: Well, TV advertising is expensive! And we know that the Democrats are running these attack ads...
Me: (interrupting, gently) Attack ads? Where?
Caller: All over!
Me: (mildly) Where? I haven't seen any attack ads here.
Caller: (sounds confused) You haven't seen any?
Me: Nope.
Caller: Well, where are you? (shuffles some papers) You're in North Carolina?
Well, they're backing Hillary Clinton and attacking President Bush.
Me: What do these attack ads claim? Can you describe one for me? Have you seen them where you live?
Caller: Well, they're running...um.... in parts of California, I think, maybe southern California, and yes I think I've seen a few up here in North Dakota .
Me: (trying to sound curious) What do these ads say? Have you seen one?
Caller: (sounding just a little suspicious) Are you a Republican? Do you want Hillary Clinton to win?
Me: Well, if the ads are just stating facts, that's not an attack. Unless the truth makes the president look bad...
Caller: Well, they're just bashing the president
Me: By saying what?
Caller: Bashing FEMA
Me: Do you agree with FEMA's response to the hurricanes? Did you see the people on the roofs in New Orleans for days? Do you feel safe today that FEMA could respond if you needed help? Where are you...did you say Nebraska? If y'all get hit with a blizzard up there this winter, do you feel safe that FEMA could help get your roads cleared and power restored and fuel to you and your family on time?
Caller: Well, next they'll blame the president for the hurricane, for crying out loud!
Me: No, but I think criticism of the response to the hurricanes is valid--what else do you think he's being attacked for?
Caller: Well, they're spending millions of dollars.... (trying to go back to script now)
Me: Hmm, the current poll numbers show lots of people are unhappy with the president right now. Is that what you're calling "bashing"?
Caller They're spending millions of dollars.... (again, trying get back on script)
Me: Can you get me an actual figure?
Caller: What?
Me: An actual figure. You know, "millions of dollars" is pretty vague. Do you have an accurate number?
Caller: Can you hold on a minute? I think there may be someone here who knows...
Me: Sure I can hang on, but I thought you would know, since you were calling. Sure, I'll wait, but can't you go off script?
Caller (sounding a bit desperate) We're supposed to stay on script! I've been working for the Republican party for a long time...
Me: Then I hope you would be able to have a simple conversation with me without reading from a script, because you support and understand your party. So tell me, what else do you think the president is being attacked for?
Caller: (suspiciously) (finally!) Are you a Republican?
Me: (sensing I'll have only a few minutes left now) My husband is registered Republican, and I'm interested in having a conversation with you. You called me. Do you not want to talk to me? Do you know what's going on in your own party? Do you support your party even when its leaders have committed crimes? Did you know that your House leader has had to step down under indictments for fraud ?
Caller: (indignant now) Yes, I l know that. Well, thank you for... (tries to get all pleasant again and goes back to script)
Me: Can't you stay off script to finish the conversation you started?
Caller: Thank you for your time, this call has been paid for by Tom Reynolds and...
Me: (interrupting) Well, thank him for allowing me to use up some of his fundraising dollars!
Caller: Talks very fast now, obviously reading from the script, mentions a website and as I try to talk over her closing
Me: (as I talk over her final statement) But really, if you're going to call people and make claims about money and attack ads, don't you think you'd want to know where the money is coming from, be able to back up your numbers, and know what exactly the ads are saying and where they're airing?
Caller: (off script again and now sounding pouty) Well, they're running ads in key markets and trying to spend money to influence key races!
Me: Isn't that called a partisan system? Don't you think the opposition has a right to air campaign ads and respond to opponents' claims?
Caller: This time, finishes up her script in a breathless voice and hangs up on me.
And some people pay for phone sex......
NOTE: I must give a thank-you shout-out to Jeffrey Feldman's Frameshop series for giving me the tools to have this conversation, to Mike Stark's series of calls for giving me inspiration, to countless other D-Kos posters who take on the wing-nuts wherever they find `em, and to George Lakoff, the granddaddy of framing.
