As of late, the diaries on DailyKos have been serious, well-written and supported by data. They move us from being political armchair quarterbacks, to actual human beings working for peace and justice. This diary will probably be none of that.
NCAA college basketball gives some of us a respite from the constant batshit crazy actions that have come out of particular political power circles. Basketball, at least temporarily will hold my attention long enough so I don't stab myself in the eye with a needle to forget the pain of man's inhumanity to man.
So. I thought I'd offer my own tinfoil hat analysis of the men's NCAA Basketball Tournament. I call it HOOPS FOR JESUS. Given imminent theocracy that some hope we'll soon be living in, I thought I do a little analysis. Soon we'll be watching faith-based athletic programs. No wagering allowed of course.
First I looked at how many of the 64 American institutions of higher learning had religious affiliation. Only 12 of the 64 teams or 19% have a religious affiliation. Oh what Godlessness! Oh the secular humanism!
I must say that of the institutions of higher learning that did have a successful men's basketball program and did make it to "The Dance" AND have a religious affiliation; 100% of them are Christian Institutions. Yikes. What? No men's basketball at Cordoba University in Virgina? I guess that would be the fly in the ointment of the imminent theocracy.
What is also interesting is that of the 12 institutions of higher learning with religious affiliation; 8 of 12 are Roman Catholic or Papists depending on your point of view (Boston College, Georgetown, Gonzaga, Iona, Marquette, Seton Hall, Villanova, Xavier). The mere four protestant remainders are 1 Methodist (Duke), 1 Interdenominational Christian [(Oral Roberts) insert your own joke here], 1 Presbyterian (Davidson), and 1 Baptist (Belmont). Sports commentators love to call March Mayhem "The Dance". Makes me wonder what kind of internal moral strife has been caused at Belmont by being invited to "The Dance".
Certainly there will be prayers from these religiously-affiliated schools and players. Prayers which can be thought of as the act of communicating with God often take the form of adoration/praise, contrition, thanksgiving, and probably in this case there will be many prayers in the form of petition. In other words asking God for something. It could be asking God for success. Prayers like, "Oh God, we want to win this basketball game." Some petitional prayers ask for success, but others, as in many of the Psalms curse one's enemy and asks specifically for their defeat. Prayers like, "Oh God, we are OBVIOUSLY better than our secular humanist pagan opponents; utterly crush them."
A majority of the first round match-ups are indeed between religiously-affiliated schools and Godless pagan schools. I'm betting on Jesus in these match ups. There is one match up though where it is between two schools with religious affiliation. Gonzaga and Xavier. Both are beholden to the bishop in Rome. While I'm not Roman Catholic, I do hold a special place in my heart for Jesuits (I will myself soon be attending a Jesuit University) because I respect their independence and their respect for learning. That doesn't help me in this case because both Gonzaga and Xavier have Jesuit affiliation. Now what? Well I guess it boils down to Gonzaga is seeded #3 and Xavier is seeded #14. I'm not gonna waste an underdog pick on this so I'll have to go with the team represented by the numeral 3: Gonzaga.
Well that just brings up the idea of numerals. They're ARABIC you know. Sort of like who potentially could have controlled the ports in the United States. So under our imminent theocracy Gonzaga will have to be seeded with the Roman Numeral III.
While me and the rest of you are still filling out your brackets, you might think are there other forces that could affect the outcomes of these basketball games. Perhaps forces of EVIL? There could be forces of evil. One of the XIV'th ranked teams (Northwestern State) is called THE DEMONS. Bad, bad, bad, The University of Iowa will definitely beat them. There are a couple of not so evil, but sorta naughty team mascots. One is the University of Alabama Birmingham Blazers. Blazer seems innocuous enough; however, they depict a Blazer as a fire-breathing dragon with sort of a devilish tail. Be afraid; Kentucky will definitely beat them.
This brings us to the subject of religious affiliation and naughty mascots all at the same place. The Catholic University Seton Hall's mascot; The Pirates. Pirates? Had Hampton beat Monmouth last night we'd have two teams with Pirate mascots. Pirate behavior could result in it being possible to get an abortion in South Dakota. Even though they are the underdog, they are religiously affiliated, and I will have to pick them over Wichita State.
The Catholic University Georgetown are the Hoyas. Not even Georgetown knows what a Hoya is. Sort of like our strategy in Iraq. `nough said, this alone will probably have the FBI at my door, but I am totally picking them over Southern Alabama.
This brings me to the one team that is making my brain explode. Duke. They're religiously affiliated. They are seeded Roman Numeral I. But, they are The Blue DEVILS! What to do? Don't tell anyone, but I think the secret is that they're Blue. I pick them to go all the way. Go Duke!
