Intel Probe Panel Calls It Quits

BREAKING NEWS
Updated: 6:09 p.m. ET Feb. 06, 2004 WASHINGTON -

In a stunning development, the recently-appointed panel investigating claims of bad intelligence has suddenly disbanded.

"Hello? What country have you been living in for the last three years?" Said McCain. "Knock-knock... there's nothing there. I mean, seriously, look at this fucking guy."

Bush had named only seven of the nine members of the commission, saying that he'd choose the other three at the next PNAC circle-jerk.

"See what we're talking about?" lamented McCain as he shook his head.