Today at 11, please just finish the process. Give up. Vote Yes. Make sure that Judge Alito is confirmed 100-0. Finish the process and put us out of our fucking misery. Be merciful and make it quick.
You might as well, because 19 of you won't be returning to the Senate after your next election. I'm talking to you, Senators Akaka, Baucus, Bingaman, Byrd, Cantwell, Carper, Conrad, Dorgan, Inouye, Johnson, Kohl, Landrieu, Lieberman, Lincoln, Nelson, Nelson, Pryor, Rockefeller, and Salazar.
Senator Harkin, you're only halfway off the hook.
And I'm especially talking to you, Governor Dean. You've just proven that the only thing you can lead is a group of lemmings over a cliff. Please do so, quickly.
And I'm reserving a special 'bon mot' for you, Senator Barack. While you spent Sunday telling me "We need to recognize, because Judge Alito will be confirmed, that, if we're going to oppose a nominee that we've got to persuade the American people that, in fact, their values are at stake. And frankly, I'm not sure that we've successfully done that." How about you look to your left and to your right and convince the two ass-clowns next to you before you worry about us. We have no doubts as to what's at stake. It's time for Congress to learn what was at stake.
Sen. Cantwell, you can go back to RealNetworks and make up some more bullshit privacy statements. Enjoy the other Washington!
Sen. Dorgan, it's good you're returning all that Abramoff money since you won't be needing it anyway. See ya!
Sen. Kohl, the Milwaukee Bucks suck and they always will. Seriously. Always. You're outta here!
Sen. Landrieu, I wish you had been born with a tenth of the brains and talent your dad was, but alas, you're destined to return home to the town that King George destroyed and he will never fix it. Your attempt to suck up to him will be a miserable failure on two counts. Au revoir!
Sen. Lieberman, Al Gore regrets ever having met you. Take your Joementum home and don't come back!
Sen. Nelson (FL), you're up against the Tammy Faye of our generation, Katherine Harris, and there's no way I could ever root for her. Has the sun cooked everybody's brains down there, or is there a qualified candidate we can replace you with? Gone!
Sen. Nelson (NE), what is wrong with you not voting against Alito due to your reelection concerns? Do you need someone to explain the word "represent" to you? You do us no good in office if you're too much of a chickenshit to vote, so why would we want you reelected? Happy trails!
Sen. Salazar, I was worried that you might freeze your ass off up in Colorado when you get home, but I'm pretty sure Mullah Dobson will be right behind you keeping it warm. Adios!
And to hell with the rest of you I didn't mention. Get out and stay out!
I will no longer throw away any more money on the Democratic Party or any PAC that supports these chumps. I will continue to give as much as I can to any candidate out there that has proven that they want this party to succeed. I will give as much as I can to any PAC that actually supports our party's success.
This whole thing reminds me of the great Liv Tyler quote in the movie "That Thing You Do" : "I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you - kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it. You just save it for all your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight."
Yes. Shame on me for believing. Just one more time...
And I've still got my eye on you, Harkin!
