From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Today...on a Very Special Oprah:
[cue violins]
He had everything. Money. Power. Starburst Fruit Chews. A partner. A chocolate Labrador retriever. And a '92 Honda that purred like a kitten on Red Bull. But then...
[Gong!]
...it all began to crumble. His PC was slowly taking over his mind. Nothing mattered...except the glowing, soul-piercing pixels emanating from his monitor. Today, Oprah talks with a man whose life became an obsession, an addiction, a living hell. All on account of this...
[Gong!]
A blog. Some psychologists are calling these online journals a menace to society. The DEA says they're replacing cocaine as the "high of choice." What we're about to show you is graphic. You may never believe how low this man sank. Or what it took to reclaim his life. Worst of all...
[Gong!]
The blog...can happen to you.
Your daily fix starts in the Extended Copy section... [Swoooosh!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Daily Countdown:
Days 'til Tour de France: 3
Days 'til July 4th weekend: 3
Days 'til Democratic Convention: 26
Days 'til General Election: 125
Fahrenheit 9/11 gross: $28,529,959
CHEERS to Bush's ass. It's in a sling again, with lowest approval ever (42%) in CBS News/New York Times poll. Time to get yourself one 'o them Rumsfeld stand-up desks, Junior?
CHEERS to perverts' rights. The Supreme Court rules that a law meant to protect kids from online porno peddlers is probably a violation of free speech rights. Besides there are already free filter systems widely available. They're called parents. (P.S.---How telling is it that famed porno-renter Clarence "pubic hair on my Coke can" Thomas didn't join the dissenters?)
JEERS to Pentagon shenanigans. So it's come to this: 5,600 no-longer-soldiers soldiers are being called back into service to help shore up stretched military. How long until they start calling up World War II veterans?
CHEERS madman on trial. Saddam will formally be charged tomorrow. Good...maybe it'll produce some new images to replace that done-to-death tonsillectomy footage.
JEERS to the cinderblock ceiling. On June 30, 1982, the 7-year statutory period for ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment-which would have officially stopped discrimination against women-ended, falling three states short of ratification. Back to birthin' babies. And where's my supper, woman?!
JEERS to bad business. Hey America! The Iraq war is going to cost each and every family at least $3,415! What are you going to do now? "We're going to KickBushOut World!"
CHEERS to Spiderman 2. Best sequel since `The Empire Strikes Back?' A lot of folks on the...ahem...web think so: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/SpiderMan2-1133520/. C&J predicts Doc Ock will be all over the Halloween scene.
CHEERS to nobility. 72 year-old actor Larry Hagman says "no thanks" to a second kidney transplant. "I said, don't bother...I don't want to deprive somebody of a new liver just because I'm greedy. I'm not afraid of death." Where's Jeannie when we need her?
CHEERS to Dana Milbank. If the Bushies put out a good news memo...duck and cover! http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A13200-2004Jun28.html. P.S.---Don't miss his final punchline.
JEERS to Biology of the Bully. You'll never guess! New Princeton study says men are more inclined to pick fights because higher testosterone levels = less sensitivity to pain. But getting between two warring lesbians is still the most dangerous place on Earth.
CHEERS to cool cars. The first Corvette was manufactured 51 years ago today. Cost: $3,250. The best thing to happen for men in mid-life crises since the mistress.
CHEERS to personal heroes. Sad, sad day. James Dewar, creator of the Twinkie, died on this date in 1985. He was buried in a golden spongecake coffin with creamy filling. But his noble work lives on: http://www.twinkiesproject.com/
CHEERS to the dysfunctional family. Let 'em have it: http://www.candygenius.com/letter.html
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?