From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Wal-Mart: "Always low prices...und vee are vatching you and your troublemaking vays veeeery carefully!"
Selina Jarvis is the chair of the social studies department at Currituck County High School in North Carolina, and she is not used to having the Secret Service question her or one of her students.
But that's what happened on September 20.
Jarvis had assigned her senior civics and economics class "to take photographs to illustrate their rights in the Bill of Rights," she says. One student "had taken a photo of George Bush out of a magazine and tacked the picture to a wall with a red thumb tack through his head. Then he made a thumb's down sign with his own hand next to the President's picture, and he had a photo taken of that, and he pasted it on a poster."
According to Jarvis, the student, who remains anonymous, was just doing his assignment, illustrating the right to dissent.
But over at the Kitty Hawk Wal-Mart, where the student took his film to be developed, this right is evidently suspect. An employee in that Wal-Mart photo department called the Kitty Hawk police on the student. And the Kitty Hawk police turned the matter over to the Secret Service. On Tuesday, September 20, the Secret Service came to Currituck High.
"At 1:35, the student came to me and told me that the Secret Service had taken his poster," Jarvis says. "I didn't believe him at first. But they had come into my room when I wasn't there and had taken his poster, which was in a stack with all the others." She says the student was upset.
"He was nervous, he was scared, and his parents were out of town on business," says Jarvis. She, too, had to talk to the Secret Service. "They asked me, didn't I think that it was suspicious," she recalls. "I said no, it was a Bill of Rights project!"
At the end of the meeting, they told her the incident "would be interpreted by the U.S. attorney, who would decide whether the student could be indicted," she says.
The student was not indicted, and the Secret Service did not pursue the case further. "I blame Wal-Mart more than anybody," she says. "I was really disgusted with them. But everyone was using poor judgment, from Wal-Mart up to the Secret Service."
Jarvis uses one word to describe the whole incident: "ridiculous."
--From The Progressive
The union is saved---SAVED I tell you!---from those darn kids and their treacherous tintypes. Cheers and Jeers develops in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, October 5, 2005
Note: My baloney has a first name. It's Hank.
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By the Numbers:
Days `til Thanksgiving: 50
Days `til the bankruptcy law takes effect: 12
Number of seniors who don't understand the new Medicare prescription drug plan: 61%
Number of seniors who plan to join the program: 24%
(Source: USA Today)
Number of letters in "An abysmal program": 16
Current visibility through the fog in Portland Harbor, where the Queen Mary 2, is docking this morning: Oh...about 6 feet
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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: Jim P sent us this 1999 photo titled Gratitude, featuring Charlotte, NC firefighter Jeff Clark and a pregnant Doberman named Cinnamon. An image so perfect that, of course, it has its own urban legend to go with it.
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JEERS to minor misunderestimastandings. At yesterday's press conference, President Bush said there were 80...no, wait, make that 30...battalions of Iraqi military ready to rumble against the evildoers. But General George Casey said earlier that the number of functional battalions was...um...one. We're sure the general regrets the error...unless he'd like to see the interior walls of Leavenworth for a few decades.
CHEERS to Quayle hunting. On this date in 1988, Democrat Lloyd Bentsen opened a can of whupass on Dan "Doogie Howser Minus the Intellect" Quayle during their vice-presidential debate. (Listen to it here--the fireworks start at 1:30.). We haven't heard much from Danny in a long time...so there must be a God.
JEERS to Bill O'Reilly. For saying that the 82nd Airborne perpetrated the Malmedy Massacre during World War II:
Wesley Clark: And let me explain something. You go all the way up the chain of command --
O'Reilly: General! You need to look at the Malmedy massacre in World War Two, and the 82nd Airborne who did it!
My high school English teacher, Mr. Bowers, survived that massacre...which was committed by the Germans. An honest mistake? Probably. Is Bill O'Reilly an ass, anyway? Of course.
P.S.: If you missed O'Reilly's shower-towel snap at the blogosphere last night, His fair and balanced conclusion sounded like something a villain would say in a Steven Seagal movie: "I don't hate the blogs. I looooooooath them." Mission Accomplished. Fade to black. Roll credits.
CHEERS to sacrificing for the common good. On October 5, 1947, Harry Truman became the first president to use TV to address the nation. He requested that Americans not eat meat on Tuesdays---or poultry on Thursdays---to save on feed grains to help folks who were starving in Europe. Today we'd just give Halliburton a no-bid contract for grain-related program activities and then tell Americans to keep shopping. Ah, progress.
CHEERS to Paul Hackett. Hey, this is great. The Iraq war veteran from Ohio---who nearly won a congressional seat in a red, red Ohio district earlier this year---is running for the U.S. Senate. Meaning Republican Mike DeWine's days are numbered. Go get `em, kid---my donation to your campaign is already stored in a mayonnaise jar on my back porch.
CHEERS to the BIG birthday boy. Happy 175th to #21 Chester Alan Arthur. Click here to pay your respects...and just try and tell us Captain Kangaroo wasn't his illegitimate love child.
JEERS to the bigot in the family. Michael's 12 year-old niece---whom he adores---is traveling with her mother (Michael's sister) from Michigan to visit us for the first time this weekend. Her dad only allowed the trip on the condition that she not spend a single night under our roof. Because we're gay and, therefore, untrustworthy pervs. Memo to dc20005: Let's toss that onto the pile of reasons why I don't like homosexuality. I believe that's #1,000 so I win the toaster oven.
CHEERS to the right words at the right time. Buncha new terms have been added to the 2005 Merriam-Webster Dictionary, including bikini wax, SARS and civil unions. This is how they define another new entry, "neoconservative": (noun) : a conservative who advocates the assertive promotion of democracy and U.S. national interest in international affairs including through military means. See also: Failure, Klutz, and Congenital Liar.
JEERS to the wrong words at the wrong time. Wall Street was humming along yesterday...until some lamebrain at the Federal Reserve in Dallas opened his big fat mouth, yammering on and on and on about inflation and interest rates. Result: the Dow plummeted 94 points. Next time, pal, just talk about your kid's soccer game.
CHEERS to the Institute of Koufax. The blog that hosts the annual Koufax Awards for best bloggers, Wampum, is having their annual fundraiser this month:
This year will be the fourth year in which Wampum [is] holding the Koufax Awards. While it's great to win the top prize in the awards, the best part of the event is the showcasing of hundreds of blogs, posts and commentors which are often overlooked, or too quickly forgotten in the lightning speed of cyberspace today. As the years have passed, the number of nominations have increased exponentially, with over a thousand nominees last year alone. Personally, while it means a lot more work, we here think this is a very good thing.
They work like dogs to make the Koufaxes the Oscars of the progressive blogosphere. So if you can, please send `em some...um...wampum. (Bet no one's ever said that before...aren't we clever in a Koufax Award-winning kind of way...)
CHEERS to getting pucked. Hey, everybody...the NHL hockey season starts tonight!! I'm so giddy I just know I'll be punching strangers in the mouth all day.
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One Year Ago in C&J: October 5, 2004...
CHEERS to Beauty and the Beast. For the first time in history, two unelected VP candidates will spar onstage tonight. Karl Rove is taking extraordinary measures to make his #2 man look hip. Is Edwards' thong back from the cleaners yet?
CHEERS to peace at dinnertime. The Supreme Court says the Do-Not-Call registry---a shield against telemarketers---stands. So now it becomes a lot trickier to slip your liver and onions to the dog without getting caught.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to the Security of Homeland Piggies. (via Boing Boing) Stubbed toes in the middle of the night are now a thing of the past, thanks to these slippers with headlights. And if you want to piss off your spouse, you can turn on the high beams.
Floor's open. What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless testimonial:
"Eventually, we may be able to enjoy three-dimensional Cheers and Jeers!"
--Theodor W. Haensch
Winner, 2005 Nobel Prize in Physics
10/4/05