Decider-in-Chief

Assimilated Press: Washington, D.C. - George W. Bush, basking in his newly proclaimed position as Decider-in-Chief, made his first important decision today without any instructions from either Cheney the Dick and Don of Rumsfeld.

Surprising everyone present, he firmly came down on the side of HAVING anchovies and pepperoni on the pizza the three men were ordering. This was highly unusual as both Cheney and Rumsfeld generally prefer pizza without anchovies. This was taken as a sign that George W. Bush really is in charge. Scott McClellan later said, "Yes, he made the decision on his own. He really is charge." Bush himself declared to reporters, "I'm a decider, dammit! And I decided on anchovies." After dinner, Bush put on his pajamas and went to sleep as Cheney and Rumsfeld went into the situation room to discuss how best  to divide Iran between Haliburton and Exxon.