URGENT MESSAGE OF CALAMITOUS PROPORTIONS!
My friends, I know we may all differ on positions on Iraq, health care, taxes, blah de blah de blah, but I am here to report on something completely outside out of all bounds of decency being propagated today by Senator John Edwards today on C-SPAN. Are you sitting down? I'm warning you, this is not for the squeamish. Take a breath.
Here it is. Today, at a rally for Sen. Edwards, there appeared on stage with him...
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HOOTIE AND THE FRICKIN' BLOWFISH!
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I couldn't believe it either. It's unconscionable! That's why now I hope we can all put outside our differences and unite together to deter this bastion of sulfurous evil from infecting its singularly saccharine, ball-less sound anywhere else in America. We have the power. We can come together, as a force greater than the sum of the parts, a force harvesting the pure synergy of ordinary individuals bonding together for a righteous cause. We have the power. We have the power. WE HAVE THE POWER.
THIS ABOMINATION SHALL NOT PASS!
