Just testing out this "diary" business. Is it bad form to re-post
your Blog entries here? You can vote on that below (or on the side, however this works). If the consensus is that it's bad diary manners or whatever, I will cease to do so.
Anyway, this blog entry isn't even a blog entry as such, it's an excerpt from Bill O' Reilly's upcoming self-help book. So in a way it's a reprint of a reprint of a reprint.
"Who's Looking Out for You?" By Bill O'Reilly
CHAPTER 3: EXPEL and BLOCK
Before I start Chapter 3 let's review. In Chapter 1, I told you how to love yourself as much as Reagan. In Chapter 2, I explained the seven rules of how black families could raise their black children better. Now, we're going to learn the patented O' Reilly technique for dealing with your emotions. It's a technique I call EXPEL and BLOCK.
Here's how it works: Scientists tell us that inside every human there is a net amount of negative and positive spinergy. To lead a happy life like me, Bill O' Reilly, you need to have a net spinergy in the positive range. The first step is something I call EXPELLING.
EXPELLING is where you release your negative emotions onto others. Take this exchange with my son:
"Shut up, Bill Jr. SHUT UP! Look at me, I spend all day at FOX and all night writing my awesome self-help book! All you do is whine! I suppose you'd like some fancy government aid program to try out for football for you! Take some personal responsibility, you little twit. Can't you at least try to be as awesome as my self-help book? Shut up!"
You see what I've done here? What with losing totally valid lawsuits and people occasionally disagreeing with me, my job is very stressful. As such, I accumulate a lot of negative spinergy over the course of the day. But what I've done through EXPELLING is to release all my negative energy onto a third party, thereby cleansing myself of its poison. Now, all the expelling in the world won't do any good if you simply take on other's negative emotions. This brings me to step two, BLOCKING.
BLOCKING is your way of preventing others from giving you negative spinergy. Take this example from my recent appearance on NPR's fresh air:
"STOP PICKING ON ME, JERK-FACE! La la la la la la la, not listening, la la la la la la la la la la la. That's it! I'm out of here!
You see how I've blocked the criticism, or "negative emotions"? Just look our President. One of the reasons he's been so very, very successful is his ability to EXPEL (damage your opponents through leaks) and BLOCK (any attempts at an investigation).
