[
NOTE: I've learned on the internets that in my
first version, a few quotes by actually Dan Quayle entered the Bush part. These are more correct lines. The only controversial quote appears to be "pitbull on the pantleg"; I still believe it is correct, but I moved it from the introduction line to a less prominent position.]
Yo!..... Yo!...... Yo!
bring them on
Woo Good!....
nu-ku-lar
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm the master of low expectations
I'm a man of wealth and taste
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger
I've been around for a long, long year
They misunderestimated me
Stole many a man's soul and faith
I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Our priorities is our faith
Had his moment of doubt and pain
we know that suffering is temporary, and hope is eternal
Made damn sure that Pilate
a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war
Pleased to meet you
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity
Hope you guess my name
I'm basically a media creation. I've never done anything
But what's puzzling you
This is an impressive crowd of the haves and have mores
Is the nature of my game
Some people call you the elite, I call you my base
I stuck around at St. Petersburg
This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating
When I saw it was a time for a change
we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe
Killed the czar and his ministers
I looked the man in the eye ... I was able to get a sense of his soul
Anastasia screamed in vain
peace will never happen
I rode a tank
This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while
Held a general's rank
In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard
When the blitzkrieg raged
This has been tough weeks in that country
And the bodies stank
The tyrant has fallen, and Iraq is free
Pleased to meet you
If the choices are dumb or dumber, then I'm dumb
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
I'm the commander - see, I don't need to explain
Ah, what's puzzling you
This was not an act of terrorism, but it was an act of war
Is the nature of my game, ah yeah
And war is what they got
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
Our war on terror is well begun, but it is only begun
I watched with glee
The more you love freedom, the more likely it is you'll be attacked
While your kings and queens (whoo whoo)
The failure of freedom would only mark the beginning of peril and violence
Fought for ten decades (whoo whoo)
They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we
For the gods they made (whoo whoo)
it'll take time to restore chaos and order
I shouted out, (whoo whoo)
Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric
"Who killed the Kennedys?" (whoo whoo)
that's just one senator from Massachusetts
When after all (whoo whoo)
It's going to be the year of the sharp elbow and the quick tongue
It was you and me (whoo whoo)
I think we agree, the past is over
Let me please introduce myself (whoo whoo)
I was raised in the West. The West of Texas.
I'm a man of wealth and taste (whoo whoo)
I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes
And I laid traps for troubadours (whoo whoo)
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mential losses
Who get killed before they reached Bombay (whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points
Pleased to meet you (whoo whoo)
I believe what I believe is right
Hope you guessed my name, (whoo whoo) oh yeah (whoo whoo)
God loves you, and I love you
But what's puzzling you (whoo whoo)
I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft
Is the nature of my game(whoo whoo), oh yeah, get down, baby (whoo whoo)
Some have shown their devotion to our country in deaths that honored their whole lives
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life
(whoo whoo)
I have been disgraced about what I've seen on TV that took place in prison
(whoo whoo)
I think war is a dangerous place
(whoo whoo) ..........
when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace
Pleased to meet you (whoo whoo)
There's an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, "Wanted: Dead or Alive"
Hope you guessed my name, (whoo whoo) oh yeah (whoo whoo)
I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care
But what's confusing you (whoo whoo)
the TV was obviously on - and I used to fly myself, and I said, "There's one terrible pilot"
Is just the nature of my game (whoo whoo) um yeah (whoo whoo)
But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me
Just as every cop is a criminal (whoo whoo)
I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at
And all the sinners saints (whoo whoo)
I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have
As heads is tails (whoo whoo)
I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons
Just call me Lucifer (whoo whoo)
expectations rise above that which is expected
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint (whoo whoo)
I don't know if you'd call that a confession, a regret, something
So if you meet me (whoo whoo)
I spoke out against interracial dating. I support the policy of interracial dating
Have some courtesy (whoo whoo)
if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness
Have some sympathy, (whoo whoo) and some taste (whoo whoo)
I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency
Use all your well-learned politesse (whoo whoo)
We are making steadfast progress
Or I'll lay your(whoo whoo) soul to waste,(whoo whoo), um yeah (whoo whoo)
Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things
Pleased to meet you (whoo whoo)
fool me once, shame on - shame on you
Hope you guessed my name, (whoo whoo) um yeah (whoo, whoo)
You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on
But what's puzzling you (whoo whoo)
The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous
Is the nature of my game, (whoo whoo) um mean it, (whoo whoo) get down
having said that, all options are on the table
(whoo whoo) (whoo whoo)
We got plenty of capability of dealing with justice
(whoo whoo) (whoo whoo)
this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again
Woo, who (whoo whoo)
Saddam Hussein is a homicidal dictator who is addicted to weapons of mass destruction
Oh yeah, get on down (whoo whoo)
Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere
Oh yeah (whoo whoo)
What we don't know yet is what we thought
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)
The evidence I had was the best possible evidence that he had a weapon
(whoo whoo, whoo whoo)........
It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil
Oh yeah! (whoo, whoo)
In the long run, the right answer to unemployment is to create more jobs
Tell me baby,(whoo whoo) what's my name(whoo whoo)
It's your money. You paid for it
Tell me honey,(whoo whoo) can ya guess my name (whoo whoo)
When a drug comes in from Canada, I wanna make sure it cures ya, not kill ya
Tell me baby, (whoo whoo) what's my name (whoo whoo)
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles...
I tell you one time, (whoo whoo) you're to blame (whoo whoo)
we had an accountability moment, and that's called the 2004 election
Woo Who (whoo whoo)
My decision on Iraq, this kind of march to war, affected the economy
Woo Who (whoo whoo)
My opponent seems to think that Social Security is a federal program
Woo (whoo whoo) alright (whoo whoo)
Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled
Oh, who who, oh, who who, (whoo whoo) oh, who who
I repeat, personal accounts do not permanently fix the solution
Oh Yeah (whoo whoo)
My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast...
Woo, who who (whoo whoo) Woo, who who (whoo whoo)
We need an energy bill that encourages consumption
Ah yeah, a-what's my name (whoo whoo)
not enough power to power the power of generating plants
Tell me, baby, (whoo whoo) what's my name (whoo whoo)
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully
Tell me, sweetie, (whoo whoo) what's my name (whoo whoo)
it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
I am a compassionate conservative
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
My pro-life position is I believe there's life
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them
Oh, who, who (whoo whoo)
A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it
Woo, who, who (whoo whoo)
I am George W. Bush
Ah, yeah!
I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans
Whoo whoo
Brie and cheese
Woo Who Who
Need some wood?
Whoo whoo
Put the "off" button on