I've been holding back, hoping you people would reach the right decision without my guidance, but that doesn't seem to be happening. You're all still flailing around, uncertain; very disappointing. So here it is: the absolute, guaranteed, incontestable, positively last Veep diary you'll need to read.
I'll reveal the perfect VP candidate after the jump.
You should have realized by now that Brian Schweitzer of Montana is the perfect Veep candidate. A governor (voters like chief-executive experience), a Westerner, very popular in his own state and surrounding states as well, excellent on environmental issues/green technology, overall, an excellent campaigner, good with a sound-bite for the media, and knows the Middle East because he spent years working in Saudi Arabia, and speaks fluent Arabic! All of which is great -- unless . . .
Unless Schweitzer speaking Arabic just feeds into the "Barack's a secret Muslim" b.s. And his working in Saudi isn't the same as having actual foreign policy experience. And despite his strong green credentials, his strong support of so-called "clean coal" (Montana's a coal state) dismays many environmentalists. Plus he's a shoo-in for re-election this fall, and we'd stand to lose a Democratic governor in Montana. And what if McCain picks a female for VP (a good one, I mean)? How many independent voters might be swayed by that?
Okay, forget Schweitzer. The perfect VP would be Kathleen Sebelius -- Kansas governor, very popular in her state, plus her family has Ohio connections. Good progressive, good fit with Obama on most issues. Of course, they say she's not the most electrifying public speaker, and she probably couldn't even swing her own strongly Republican state into the D column. And would the selection of a female be seen as historic, or just pandering? There's the problem that some ardent Hillary supporters might be incensed that any female other than Hillary got the VP slot. So maybe Sebelius isn't perfect, after all. . .
I got it! Joe Biden. Biden's got broad and deep foreign policy experience, respected in foreign capitals around the world, a real policy wonk, a true foreign-policy intellectual. Just what Obama needs. If we ignore that Biden alienates some progressives by supporting, e.g., the bankruptcy bill, and of course there's his stance on the Iraq war, plus being a Washington insider at odds with Obama's "Change" theme; then there's the problem of him talking too much, or getting hammered on past gaffes like "clean and articulate" and those unfortunate instances of plagiarism (Neil Kinnock, and law school). You know what? Maybe he's not "the One." (Or do I mean he's not "the Two"?)
I see it now. Hillary's the logical choice. How could I have been so blind? She has experience in tough campaigns, she's traveled around the world, has the enthusiastic backing of Bill Clinton and the Clinton machine, the ticket would be even more historic: what's not to like? Except that there's still some bad blood from the primaries, she conflicts with the "Change" meme, and a Clinton on the ticket would rally the Clinton-hating conservative opposition like no other VP candidate and be a boon to McCain. So maybe it's not her, after all.
Sam Nunn. He's got to be the answer. He's a serious foreign policy guy, strong on defense issues, a former Georgia Senator who knows his way around Washington. An old hand. Okay, a pretty damn old hand. Not a credible "Change" candidate: a Washington insider. His selection could make Obama look weak, as if he needed Sam Nunn to bolster his foreign policy credentials. And there's lingering resentment in the gay community over the Donnie McClurkin incident, and those flames would only be fanned by Sam Nunn's presence on the ticket. Nunn is radioactive because of his anti-gay record, including vociferous objections to Bill Clinton's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy allowing homosexuals to serve (quietly) in the military. So, to summarize, it would be pretty lame for anyone to suggest going with Nunn for VP, which I for one would never do. Which leaves us with the obvious choice of --
You know what? I'll have to get back to you on this.