It's always a tiny thing that moves me to tears. The speeches are masterful and I always come away from them thinking what an authentic, decent man this is, and how amazing his mom must have been. But the speeches don't generally get me choked up.
Instead, little things that catch me off guard, and most of the time it's something else someone is saying about him. It's observing his impact on others. One from a couple months ago that really opened me up me was Geoff Stone's short piece the morning after Iowa, when the world seemed fundamentally different. Stone helped bring Obama to the U. Chicago Law School and observed him early on. His thoughts about what Obama should have done with his career are faultlessly common-sensical. His confession is our cultural confession - we have very low expectations of our public servants. (After, all, we don't need to be raising the false hopes of this country about what can be delivered, right?)
Shortly after Obama announced his candidacy for the Senate, I attended (and, indeed, co-hosted) a major fundraising event in Chicago for the William Jefferson Clinton Foundation. At one point, I spotted Obama moving gracefully through the crowd, chatting amiably with each individual, dutifully pressing the flesh. As I observed him, I thought to myself, "What a waste. This is demeaning. Barack should forget politics and become a full-time law professor. Then he could really make something of himself."
A few minutes later, I found myself standing next to Obama at the shrimp bowl. Although it was really none of my business, I decided to impart some of my wisdom. "Barack," I said, "I've been watching you out there, making nice to all these folks. Why are you doing this? Given the realities of politics, you know as well as I that there's no chance you'll get the nomination, let alone defeat Fitzgerald. Why don't you just pack all this in and accept a full-time position on the faculty?" Barack smiled and thoughtfully replied, "Geof, I know where you're coming from, but, you know, I have to do this. I believe I can make a difference. I have a responsibility to try." As he blended back into the crowd, I thought, "What a waste."
It is a brave thing in this country to try.
I loved the More Perfect Union speech; I found him giving that speech in that uncertain moment an act of profound moral courage, the kind that Bobby Kennedy described in his 1966 South Africa Ripple of Hope speech:
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change the world -- which yields most painfully to change.
But what made me cry that day? The tears running down the face of his best friend in the audience got me. What it must have been like to be the best friend of a man going through an unimaginable test of character, to watch your friend get up there vulnerable before the world, knowing that the slightest misstep would probably result in his downfall... and then he delivers... that To do that... amazing. What he must have been feeling for his friend Obama, far more than pride. Faith. That is what faith is.
But what got me today was a moment as I perused the GQ piece on Bill Richardson. It's a good read, but this is the part that inspired me to write:
Tell me about your first meeting with Obama. Do you remember what your impression was?
Let me see. The first time I met him... [thinks] The first time I met him was at the Democratic convention in 2004. I was backstage, and he came up with his wife. Uh, he was very gracious, and I remember I noticed—and I thought at the moment—This guy's the new phenom. I found him to be—he struck me as being very, uh, very gracious and very polite, almost too nice to be a politician. He introduced me to his wife.
What's his biggest weakness? What's the one thing you wish—
You know, I'm not trying to— But right now I see no weakness in the guy. I think this is why he's so special. His judgment, his temperament.
And what do you make of this attempt to cast him as arrogant or—
Not at all. That is so wrong. Oh, that is so wrong. Arrogant?
Elitist is the other word being thrown around.
No. Here's a guy that—I mean, we talk basketball, we've talked sports, we joke with each other. And I'm not a close friend. Not at all. I mean, here— One thing I remember. Right before we went onto the stage for a debate, we were in our dressing rooms. We came out and said hello. And there was a number of police, custodians, volunteers that were there, as we headed towards the stage. And instead of, like, the entourage leading the candidate, he went and shook hands with every person there. Said, "Thank you... thank you for your help... thank you for your help... thank you for your help." And there was one lady that was cleaning in the back. And I remember he waved at her. And then he walked over there. And it was more than just "I want every vote." It was: "You're worth something."
Man. That is humanity. That is present-moment. That is values.
So I wept a little, and then I wrote this diary, even though I kind of have to be somewhere. I hope that if anyone reads this and knows the kind of thing I am talking about, please tell us in comments below your small stories in the little corners, the little moments that just stunned you or moved you because you saw your own hopes and emotions ignited by this campaign reflected in the hearts of others. The Pretty Motherf***er video is one example.
I love my country. I love it because while it isn't perfect, it designed itself to be perfectable. That's genius. And while change is often painfully slow and there are huge forces blocking the way of good change, sometimes maliciously, sometimes ignorantly, sometimes fearfully, brave people bring change. Against the powerful coalition to thwart forward progress, all we have is each other, and whatever reserve of non-cynicism we have left to us, to leave the world and our beloved country better off when we leave it than when we found it.
And so my tears catch me in off moments, in anecdotes told by others, in the ways my sisters and brothers and countrymen are impacted by this candidacy.
Some of you will read this and recognize what I am saying because you're grooving on my same vibe. There are, after all, a lot of Obama supporters in this audience.
But for anyone who is still trying to understand the phenomenon, or thinks they understand but have it wrong, or who wants insight into why there is such force at work here... please take this diary as a bit of data about what spirit is at loose in the land. It just saddens me when people cannot get their heads wound this, so they come up with reverse engineered theories like the country must really be misogynistic. It's an insult, naturally, because there are people who are misogynistic and it could not have less relationship to why people are in love with Obama's candidacy. (When you throw that around, those of you who do, you really debase yourselves and trivialize the real issue of misogyny, just fyi.)
I want Barack Obama to be President because I think he'd be a transformational articulator of progressive values who would breathe words and life and argument into a new generation of public and political leadership. I am for him.
But I need him to become President for the longing hearts of my countrymen, and for my own.
We are ready to believe again.