The proposition was upheld. Yes, it's hateful. Yes, it's immensely infuriating and saddening that it passed, and that it was upheld.
I'll be out there this evening mourning and protesting too.
And yet, Joe Hill's words ring in my mind; Don't mourn, organize.
It's unjust. It's wrong. And the simple facts are that the only people who can--and will--fix this now are us.
So here's what I propose:
First, find and sign and circulate the petitions to overturn Prop 8. They're already out there. People have already started that. Don't recreate it. Find it and join in.
Donate to it.
Yes, ouch. I know. But the ouch is as great on the other side--and they've already started to learn that while we all have a right to free speech, there can be social consequences for socially unacceptable opinions and actions. I think that there will be vastly less money from the other side this time around. They've already lost in other states and this time... there are people who've changed their minds, and people who will decide that it's just better to accept it.
(Behind that, there's clearly a need to correct the CA constitution so that crap like 8 can't pass again, and so that the need to have the "reform" language of the constitution actually mean something.)
Second, act.
Make people feel this personally. Don't just depend on the campaign to make the arguments. Be the campaign.
Minds need to be changed. People need to "get it."
Their most central, important relationships are publicly sanctioned and recognized. But they won't recognize those of gay and lesbian folk.
So let them taste that medicine...
Don't refer to their marriages. Don't use the language they want and expect. Deny them the recognition and implicit approval.
Don't talk about Gov. Schwarzenegger's wife. Talk about his long time live in girlfriend.
If you're married and straight yourself, don't refer to your own. Talk about your kids and your life-partner.
Deny them the social handholds and the implicit approval and the acknowledgment they expect.
And when they complain and fume and correct you, just explain that you don't recognize marriage any more. Not at all. Not until it's equally available.
This is the only form of civil disobedience available that I can think of. (It will be experienced as incivility, so I think of it as incivil disobedience.) Just refuse to participate in the injustice.