We all remember this guy from the Steny Hoyer town hall meeting in early August:
"I don't have sophisticated language. I know when I'm being lied to."
In light of that, I received the following forwarded email from my friend yesterday.
Follow me below the, "Jump! Jump!"
ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----HILARIOUS!
This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough)..
.You definitely feel the guy's pain! An actual letter to the passport
office...
Dear sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address.
What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be to damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know,the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, you know
why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed
- An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the vingyang ........ However, I have to get someone'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA !
Sincerely,
You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who.
...................And we want them to run our health care?!?
I think my friend sends these to me because he actually thinks that they're funny, but these get passed on thousands of times through email. To paraphrase President Andrew Shepard:
You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character.
They are the targets of these emails. Some find it funny, and pass them on for laughs. After all, it seem innocuous enough, but enough people read them, and they reinforce the Fox/Rush/Lou Dobbs/RNC mindset.
I've noticed the pattern of how these Monsanto-grade "grass roots" protests are supposed to be "plain folk." Lots of them may very well be. However, they are egged on by those who concoct this meme.
Well, I fought back. Here is my response, I toned it down since he is my friend:
So, ask your Mom and Dad if they want to give up their government-run Medicare. Or if a vet wants to give up his government-run V.A. benefits. I'm sure that a private company, with no competition, could cheaply take a one ounce piece of paper and pick it up somewhere in the country and deliver it somewhere else in the country... several million times a day.
"the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date." "You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address."
Has he ever done a credit card application? Even for a new card with the same company?
"And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!"
Perhaps he should look at a form for health insurance, too. And while he's at it, maybe he could have a third grader read this over and check it for spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
Yeah, wouldn't want the government running health care.
Thanks for letting me vent, when I first see these things, it takes the wind out my sails, and I have to do something to get pumped up again!
By the way, President Shepard, you had me at:
For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a few hours ago.