One of my favorite Obama quotes is this : "We can disagree without being disagreeable." I have always felt that reasonable people can disagree and still be respectful, kind and responsible in communication.
This site is supposed to be a place for Democrats to talk and work together in order to win elections and perhaps affect policy. You would never know that from the tone here. And the tone of communication from progressive organizations is similar. Everything is an emergency and every stance that does not match one's own is evil.
The following is a "conversation" from Facebook and in e-mails between myself and someone who disagrees with my stance on the Tax-Cut Compromise. It is possible to disagree without hate, malice, or hurtful vindictive speech.
First, me. I posted this:
If you are angry and disappointed that the tax cuts for the richest 2% have been extended, listen to the president explain the process involved. I am angry, too. But I support him. "These are not abstract fights for the people who are affected." "We can not play politics when the American people are looking to us to solve problems....The President On Tax Cuts December 6th
Next, my sister in-law:
Bernie Sanders making a great speech about income inequality. "Here's a perspective on the rapid redistribution of income share toward the top 1% of the country in recent years. As articulate a rendering on the collapsing middle class as I've heard."
My turn:
This is so heart-breakingly true. It makes people of conscience so angry that it's hard to think of solutions. This is why so many do not want to support the president's compromise tax-cut plan. The anger at this situation understandably makes... people want to deny any further tax cuts to the rich regardless of the cost to the unemployed and middle class.
I think the president is very aware of this. But he is somehow able to think rationally about how to get the most for the "little people" out of a bad situation.
The problem, as I see it, is that the right has spent decades convincing the public that the reason their standard of living is declining is because of affirmative action and undocumented workers. No one (except the courageous Bernie and a handful of others) talks about this decades-old class war.
I believe that our job as activists on the ground is to help people understand what is really happening. There is too much attention paid to the crisis of the moment and too much blame being placed on the president.
Then Bernie took to the floor!
My dear sister in-law:
Bernie is taking a courageous stand for working people today! We can get a one up/one down vote to extend unemployment benefits - without swallowing these tax cuts for the rich: "You can call what I am doing today whatever you want, you it call it a filibuster, you can call it a very long speech. I'm not here to set a...ny great records or to make a spectacle. I am simply here today to take as long as I can to explain."
Me again...
With respect - I don't think we can get a vote on tax cuts without the compromise. The Republicans will just filibuster. I support the president's compromise because too many people will be hurt if their taxes go up in January and if unemployment insurance is not renewed.
I hate the idea of extending the tax cuts for the rich too, but I think opposing the compromise will also hurt Democrats politically after all the tax cuts expire and the new year starts with so much pain for many people who are on the edge.
Of course, no one can know what will happen. I hope I am wrong since congressional Democrats seem to be opposing the compromise. But I will not support this opposition. I've already contacted my congress rep and Senators to say that I support the president's plan.
Her turn...
I can certainly understand your position, Your Neighbor, and I respect your choices, your thought process, and your loyalty! I'm hoping Bernie can shake some things up though, hoping he can help reframe the political dialogue on this whole range of issues, and maybe galvanize some political will to support more creative approaches. I don't have anything against the rich - I just think they have been favored by so much govt. policy over the past several decades at the expense of working people, and I think the country is weaker as a result and there is more suffering as a result. And the wealthy are better able to pay their share than the many who are struggling already. The Senate can do a straight up or down vote on behalf of the unemployed in order to extend these benefits! So many people desperately need that help. But the deficit is no joke either -- it leaves the country vulnerable in serious ways. And even while Republicans demand these tax breaks for the rich, they use the deficit to take more away from innovation, people who need help, etc. I don't think the deficit can be resolved at the expense of the many when the few are controlling so much. Here's one idea from Robert Reich: "If we put a 2% surcharge on millionaires and 5% on billionaires, instead of cutting their taxes, the long-term deficit would disappear." ♥
OK, back to me...
The sad thing is that I agree with everything you said - and I believe the president does, too. And then there is political reality. I'm afraid that doing the ideologically correct thing right here and now will result in a negative outcome in terms of human suffering and the political "war." But as you said in your message, may the best outcome emerge, whatever that may be. If I tilt my head I can see myself making your argument!
And her response:
I know just what you are saying, Your Neighbor! All lined up side by side in any moment are countless levels of awareness and choices about what to focus on and how to engage -- countless ways to see things, and interpret them, and respond... And... real merit to so many ways and understandings. I tend to appreciate all sorts of different versions of what stems from loving intentions -- the intention seems to be so key for me -- while also continuing to search for what in this moment/situation can open the paths that do the least harm and serve the greatest good... (while also recognizing that my interpretation of "good"influences that whole constellation of what I see, how I respond, etc.) (and while also repeatedly tripping over the limits in my understanding, the limits in my love, the limits in my time and capacity for clear expression, etc.) ♥
At this point, my sister in-law sent out an action alert that came to my inbox on Facebook:
Check out Bernie's filibuster over these tax cuts for the rich! Please encourage your Senators to join him! Or, at least not to vote against him. And please spread the word...
The live Stream link was attached. I answered:
J., Though I understand the anger over the tax-cuts for the rich, I also understand what the president is trying to accomplish with his compromise. Did you watch his press conference? I agree with him and do not want to see his plan filibustered. ♥ L. Press conference on YouTube.
Then she really got me good!
I love you, Your Neighbor! And respect your political views and wisdom and heart! I just posted a longer response to your comment on my wall (I saw that first) -- so I won't repeat it here. But I"m glad to be on this road with you, Dear Sister. I always love talking with you and learning from you, and I'm rooting for the best in whatever forms it takes...
I couldn't help it. I had to hit her back with this...
"I'm rooting for the best in whatever forms it takes..." I wish more people could disagree with as much grace! ♥
We are on this earth for such a short time. It's hard to know the long-term affects of any course of action, much less how things will turn out next week. Why attack people who are trying to make the world better as best they can? It won't get them to change their views. It will only inflict pain.
It must be possible to communicate with compassion and with a peaceful heart. My brilliant sister-in law shows us that it is certainly possible.