Perhaps I'll finally see my dream of a "RatBurger(tm)" come true.
Throw enough advertising dollars at it and the American public will become 'acclimatized' to the idea. And why not? It worked for the health care insurance industry.
After all, if the health care insurance industry can spend a like amount of money and get the citizenry to forget about a public option in the health care reform package, (presently limping its sad, sad, way into a blurry existence) - why - then they'll swallow anything - like my RatBurgers(tm) for example...
Rats are pretty easy to breed and probably a damn sight cheaper than beef. After all, rats forage for themselves - just like you will when you lose your job and come down with cancer. (Oops! Shouldn't have eaten those RatBurgers(tm)!
How will the public react to my tasty treat? They'll know the difference, because I'm going to tell them there IS a difference, hell yes! RatBurgers(tm) are tastier and a lot more nutritious than regular hamburger. Why, rats are free-range!
Just between you and me, perhaps I am bending the truth just a weensy bit.
What's that?
Well, if you press me, it's not really true at all. Free-range rat meat is horrible stuff that'll make you sick as a dog - but who cares? I'm here with a LOT of advertising dollars. Wanna make some dough? Come join me - why not invest in my sure-fire pyramid scheme? Imagine your favorite sell-out idol holding a RatBurger(tm) chewing and saying, "Hey! this is pretty damn good!" It's a win-win winner!
And here's the best part: If you throw enough advertising money at it, you can even get people to pay MORE than they would for an ordinary hamburger! Why, it's just like health-care. Cave in to the insurance lobby pressure and half-truth's and what have you got? That's right - a RatBurger(tm)! Why buy a hamburger (read public option here) when you can have a juicy RatBurger(tm) for only a little more? (Well, actually - a whole lot more...)
I've got it all planned out. I'll fold my RatBurger(tm) franchise empire when the public starts getting really, really sick. Sure - I'll have to throw some spare change at my lobbyists to provide a smoke-screen, but there'll be plenty of cash to spare. Where will I invest it? That's right - you guessed it - In health care insurance companies, of course.
