U CAN'T TOUCH THIS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
Just got home from getting Left Boobie (aka Cancer Boobie) nuked today. Wanted to check the news quickly before I collapsed for a nap. And then I heard that Alaska State Rep. Sharon Cissna had to take a ferry home from Seattle, instead of the flight she was about to board, on Sunday.
Because the TSA wanted to grope her feel her up adminster one of their way-past-third-base security pat-downs. Because the TSA body scan detected that she is a member of Al Qaeda in Wasilla Basque Separatist Breast Cancer Survivor.
Scannell [Cissna's chief of staff] said that TSA called for the pat-down because the scan showed Cissna had had a mastectomy. But it wasn't immediately clear from statements by the lawmaker's office and TSA why that would necessitate the further search. Linky
Really? Not "immediately clear?" I demand to know how my breast now undergoing cancer treatment--inflamed, itchy and screaming with pain--or later, scarred & damaged, poses a threat to airline security. Not to mention Rep. Cissna's breast that is MISSING ALTOGETHER 'CAUSE IT WAS LOPPED OFF !!!
I am exhausted to the point of tears from daily radiation, and I'm only halfway through my course. I will not expose myself to the TSA's body scans--many scientists question their safety, especially to sensitive skin, breast & testes tissue. [Too tired to search for links right now.] I will not take on a single nonmedical dose of radiation, administered by nonmedical personnel, just to prove that a blonde Hawaiian writer living in Vermont who likes to bake cookies isn't packing C4 in her 38D to take down the DC10.
And NO ONE without Board Certification in a current medical specialty is touching Cancer Boobie. [Well, except if he's really cute & has a personal invite. But I digress...] Insist on inspecting The Rack for membership in the Irish Republican Army, O TSA? Fine. But we're doing show & tell out in the open. Victoria and I will reveal our secrets. In public.
No private, back room humiliation, like this flight attendent/breast cancer survivor who had to let you probe underneath her prosthesis. Or this bladder cancer survivor --after you dislodged his ostomy bag, he had to fly soaked in his own urine.
I'll show you the scars from my lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy right in the general screening area, for all the other passengers to see. And film on their cell phone cams--while I clearly describe my cancer experience. YouTube, here we come! Constitution: Bye-bye!
But U Can't Touch This, TSA. There are no ferries to Hawaii. I have to fly. But I don't have to let you degrade me. I won't let cancer do it. And I sure as hell won't let you do it either.