Last night, Stephen Colbert tackled the Heritage Foundation's new report that claims poor people aren't really poor because they can afford... a refrigerator. And wow, what an asswipe the Heritage Foundation's Robert Rector is.
7/19/2011:
STU VARNEY: I seem to remember in the last few years, being told that something like 12% of the children in America go to bed hungry at night. You're saying that that's flat out not accurate?
ROBERT RECTOR: That's an absolute lie. ... It may be 2% of children at some point in the year would go to bed hungry.
2% hungry. That's the perfect amount. There's about 150 of us in this room. If three of us were hungry children, I think we'd feel pretty good about that.
I mean, this report proves that poor people are just not living down to our expectations. If you still have the strength to brush the flies off your eyeballs, you're not really poor. Because even the ones that are officially poor are probably way richer than you think. Because in determining whether a household was poor, the Census only counts about 4% of the welfare spent on that family as income. So we don't need to give the poor assistance, because they're not poor thanks to the assistance we give them.
Video and transcript below the fold.
Nation, Jesus said the poor would always be with us. Well, it turns out Jesus does not know everything.
For more, Fox News' Stu Varney makes words come out of his mouth.
STU VARNEY (7/19/2011): When you think of poverty, you picture this. But what if I told you it really looks like this? (picture of widescreen TVs) A new report showing poor families in the United States are not what they used to be. ... I'm just going to give our viewers a quick run-through of what items poor families in America have. 99% of them have a refrigerator. 81% have a microwave.
A refrigerator and a microwave? They can preserve and heat food? Ooh la la! I guess the poor are too good for mold and trichinosis.
It's all here, folks, in the conservative think tank the Heritage Foundation's new report, "Air Conditioning, Cable TV, and an Xbox: What Is Poverty in the United States Today?" And if you watched closely in Stu Varney's report just then, you saw that evidently, poverty is the plasma flatscreen aisle at Best Buy.

And you would not believe some of the stuff poor people have in their homes! Luxuries like ceiling fans, DVD players, answering machines, and coffee makers. I don't have those things! I have central air, a Blu-Ray player, voicemail, and I go to Starbucks every day. Must be nice. Must be pretty nice.
And $10 coffee makers aren't the only luxury these "poors" can afford. Stu?
7/19/2011:
STU VARNEY: I seem to remember in the last few years, being told that something like 12% of the children in America go to bed hungry at night. You're saying that that's flat out not accurate?
ROBERT RECTOR: That's an absolute lie. ... It may be 2% of children at some point in the year would go to bed hungry.
2% hungry. That's the perfect amount. There's about 150 of us in this room. If three of us were hungry children, I think we'd feel pretty good about that.
I mean, this report proves that poor people are just not living down to our expectations. If you still have the strength to brush the flies off your eyeballs, you're not really poor. Because even the ones that are officially poor are probably way richer than you think. Because in determining whether a household was poor, the Census only counts about 4% of the welfare spent on that family as income. So we don't need to give the poor assistance, because they're not poor thanks to the assistance we give them.
I mean, folks, these Great Society anti-poverty programs were like a dam that we built to hold back the river of poverty. And it worked. So let's tear down the dam. I'm sure the river will stay put. But if not, and the poor start drowning again, we'll throw 'em a life preserver, or a refrigerator. Poor people seem to love those things.
Stephen then brought out Georgetown Law professor Peter Edelman to talk about poverty. He also was saddened that Herman Cain cancelled his upcoming appearance on this Thursday's show. And since Stephen believes we're going to default, he prepared a bucket list for America. It involves doin' it with Canada.
Meanwhile, Jon looked at both Obama's and Boehner's speeches from last night, and then noted that CNN's Don Lemon doesn't seem to be very happy with CNN, because he wants to cover REAL news. And then in an interview you'll probably find nauseating, Juan Williams was the guest.