This image and quote recently went viral on Twitter, after Chicago Sun-Times film critic Richard Roeper tweeted it with the remark:
"I'm Clint F------ Eastwood, and this is what I have to say about gay marriage." BRAVO.
The legendary actor, director and Hollywood tough man's quote came from an
recent interview with GQ magazine:
"These people who are making a big deal about gay marriage? I don't give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We're making a big deal out of things we shouldn't be making a deal out of ... Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want."
There is something truly beautiful about how straight guys approach the topic of marriage equality. See, they aren't dealing with a lifetime of feeling shameful and unworthy. And they aren't fetishizing the tactic of presenting their views in nice, inoffensive ways that don't scare the straight people. They haven't sent their talking points through the Gay, Inc. car wash for a nice polish and buff sure to better appeal to America's soccer moms, NASCAR dads, and their deeply felt religious convictions.
And it got me thinking, so I compiled some of the more awesome, matter of fact things our straight male allies have said on the topic of gays and marriage equality.
I round out a top five list after the fold. Text content NSFW.
2. Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, described by Bill Maher on
Real Time as “a big champion of gay rights,” (true), responded:
“I like a good ass fucking as much as the next guy! But that makes me gay? Come on, it's the 21st century.”
The gay blog Queerty remarked: "Awww, look how adorable cute straight boys are when they stick up for us! And then they talk about Supreme Court stuff and whatnot."
In February 2010, Macfarlane expressed his support for DADT repeal on Real Time saying:
"If you're sitting there watching TV in your undershirt worrying about terrorism, worrying about your family. And at the same time objecting to the person who's out there, putting their life on the line so that your family will be protected, you're the worst kind of fucking asshole there is. "
3. Republican State Senator Roy McDonald found himself in the glare of a media spotlight when he famously flopped from voting no on New York's marriage equality bill in 2009 to saying yes to equality in 2011.
He explained his change of heart to roomful of reporters:
"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing. You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, fuck it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing.
I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."
4. Responding to the minor flap over hetero hockey rogue
Sean Avery standing up for marriage equality in New York,
Ball player, Charles Barkley:
“If somebody is gay, that’s their own business. But it bothers me how people try to say that jocks are not going to like a gay. … I think gay people should be allowed to get married and God bless them, that’s their own business. Listen, if a guy can’t play that’s the only time we don’t want to play with him. We don’t care about all that extracurricular stuff.”
5. And for the mother off all messages that never even made it to a focus group, look to comedian, and
constant presence of the New York Occupy Wall Street scene,
Jamie Kilstein of
Citizen's Radio. In one breathless, three-minute rant, Kilstein decimates every conservative religious objection ever proffered.
“To every heterosexual, mentally abusive, closet racist, fast-food-feeding, let-your-kid-run-around-the-mall-like-a-psycho parent: why do you have, like, nine fucking kids, yet you say gay folks can't adopt because it might screw the kid up. And I know that America thinks everytime a gay couple adopts a child it forces otherwise straight and homophobic pastor Ted Haggart to hire a gay male prostitute and engage in a week long meth-induced fuck spree. I know. He didn't want to do it, you guys, but then a gay couple adopted and forced him to take an injection of another male prostitute cock. I know, I get it. But I say just because your man-bits fit into some girl-bits doesn't mean you should have kids. Do you know how many straight people shouldn't have kids? Go to a movie theater or a IHOP on a Sunday. And don't tell us two men or two women in the bedroom may cause a child to question his sexuality. Any kid basing his sex life on the sounds coming from his parents bedroom is already fucked beyond repair. If God designed marriage for a man and women, then God is failing. That is below failing, just look at straight and homophobic pastor Ted Haggart, who's married with children but hired a gay male prostitute to shame-fist him into a meth coma. But you say being gay is being immoral? Really? More immoral than shame-fisting? Because I'd rather have my kids raised by the flaming queer couple down the street than have them spend another night at the church with Father Diddlyhands. Is that why you want adoption restricted, Church? You keeping all the young ones for yourself? If you really think that a child should only be raised by a married couple then I have an idea, let the gays marry assholes! These are people will raise a child for a better reason than the condom broke. You give me one valid argument beside "But God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." Really? Because by the looks of it Adam and Eve fucked up big time and maybe Adam should have explored better options. So stop fucking telling us that the Bible says that being gay is unnatural, because I've read the Bible and there is a lot of unnatural shit that happens in that book. I would say that a dude dying and rising from the dead in a zombiesque fashion is far less natural than me sucking a cock. Because at least, cocksucking you can prove."
To be clear, focus-grouping nice messages is great, and most especially has its place when big dollars are spent by groups that still need the people in power to return their calls the next year. And these kinds of messages are actually much more effective coming from folks that are immunized as being dismissed as part of the scary "radical homosexual agenda!"
That said, there's a place for this too.