Yesterday, I finally calmed down enough to send an email to Don Pridemore, the Wisconsin state rep who thinks abusive relationships can be saved if the couple rediscovers why they got married. As someone who was married to an emotionally abusive woman for three years, that hit an extremely raw nerve with me. I had a lot to say to him, but the more I wrote, the angrier I got. I had to hit the send button before I started cursing. That tells you how hurtful Pridemore's words were to me.
As I've had time to parse Pridemore's horrible words, I realized--he's resurrected one of the oldest and most insidious smears used against those who have ever had to endure abusive marriages. Specifically, it's the victim's fault. There's no other way to put it. How else can anyone even suggest that an abusive relationship can be resurrected by simply rediscovering why you got married?
It's been almost six years since I walked out on a woman who yelled at me all the time, allowed me to be threatened in my own home, and goaded people into beating me up. And you actually think it's my fault for not wanting to light the fire again, you self-absorbed bastard?
Pridemore apparently thinks he can get away with giving such Iago-like marital advice because he represents a district so insanely Republican (from just eyeballing the map, it's at least R+12) that he'll never be held accountable at the ballot box. Well, this asshole may not have to answer to the voters, but he'll have to answer to God someday for spitting in the face of virtually every victim of spousal abuse.