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My wife and I are first-time parents to a healthy and gorgeous baby girl, born last Thursday, December 27th. After a difficult labor, the doctor made the call to deliver Caroline via a cesarean section. Four days later, the hospital evicted us. Now what?

The amazing nurses who cared for both my wife and my daughter gave us some good training on the side, but the advice we received from them and others was all over the place. We had no structure, and upon arriving at home, our ignorance bit us in the proverbial ass.

Our first night alone with the baby was absolute hell. After hours and hours of trying, we could not calm Caroline to save our lives. Feedings, diaper changes, pacifiers, and gliders were failing us. I was confident that we lacked the skills, but just as clueless, my wife insisted that we call the person who we had identified as our pediatrician, but had yet to meet. An on-call doctor from her office returned our 4:00 AM call, and asked my wife to take Caroline’s temperature. The cheap Baby’s R Us rectal thermometer that we received at a baby shower indicated a temperature of 96.5, and per the doctor’s instructions, we were off to the emergency room. Of course, upon arrival, we learned that Caroline was just fine, and never to rely on crap devices for taking a baby’s vitals.

Anyway, we had our first appointment with the pediatrican the next day, and of course, it was us, not Caroline. Dr. Hines did not suggest; she demanded. This lady has a stellar reputation in our community, and my view is that we should do as we’re told. Anyway, I thought I’d pass her commands on to any and all who might benefit.

Please know that some of these instructions are customized for an 8.5 pound baby girl who was exactly one week old at the time of the visit. That said, here it is…

* When putting her to sleep, lay her on her back.
* Make sure that she is sleeping on a hard surface.
* Temperature of the room where she sleeps should be 68 to 70 degrees.
* For a newborn, body temperature over 100 is an emergency.
* Vaginal blood is normal and okay.
* Snorting/sniffling is normal and okay.
* Hiccups, including full body hiccups, are normal and okay.
* It’s safe to feed her when she has hiccups.
* Feedings should be no more frequent than two hours apart.
* Do not go more than four hours without feeding her. If she is asleep, then after four hours, wake her up to feed her.
* Do not use the bottle as a pacifier (i.e., do not feed her more frequently than two hours apart in an attempt to calm her down).
* Feed her between 1 and 2.5 ounces per feeding.
* All popular formula brands are fine. One is not necessarily better than another.
* Do not give her water.
* Do not giver her juice.
* Try to keep her awake for 20 to 30 minutes after each feeding.
* Do not let other children hold her until she is at least two months old.
* Do not bathe her until her umbilical cord stump has fallen off in two to four weeks (in the meantime, we can use a damp wash cloth--no soap--to clean her face and neck).
* After the umbilical cord falls off, only bathe her for a maximum of two minutes in lukewarm water using Dove soap.
* IMPORTANT: Make sure that all caregivers (grandparents, aunts, uncles,…) get both their annual flu shot and whooping cough vaccination. Whooping cough is back and, although relatively minor for adults, it is fatal for babies. If your Mom, for example, claims that she doesn’t need the vaccination because she was vaccinated as a child, don’t believe her. Dr. Hines says to insist.

I’ve been off the grid for a while, but I hope that all of my fellow Kossacks had a great holiday season!

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Comment Preferences

  •  Blessings to your growing family! n/t (14+ / 0-)

    "This is the best bad idea we have by far..." ~Argo

    by MsGrin on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 11:02:12 PM PST

  •  no better reason (11+ / 0-)

    to be off the grid.  

    congratulations to all of you!

    Ted Kennedy: “The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die…”

    by jlms qkw on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 11:05:27 PM PST

  •  Breast Milk is Best Milk (16+ / 0-)

    Unless there's a good reason, newborns need Mama's milk more than formula.  It contains all sorts of immune system goodies from the Mother that is essential to babies' health (seeing as she currently has no immune system to speak of).

    here's a link with all kinds of good info:
    http://preview.tinyurl.com/...

    The rest sounds pretty good to me.  Holding baby as much as possible is good; co-sleeping is good (has positive effects for both baby and Mama) but even if not in same bed, I think same room is really important - the more contact between parent and baby the better, especially at first.

    http://cosleeping.nd.edu/...

    Good luck and God bless.

    •  unless you can't breastfeed (5+ / 0-)

      then formula is fine.

      a couple of other tips...change crib sheets once a week and dust and vacuum that often with the babe out of the room for a while so that any missed dust isn't floating in the air. wash any blankets that often, too. you don't need to be fanatical, just keep dust and dirt under control.

      BagNewsNotes: Visual Politics, Media Image Analysis

      by ksh01 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 03:10:55 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  honestly what they know now about (8+ / 0-)

        benefits of breast milk
        formula really is only "good enough". Fine is a stretch but people will tell you that. People are loathe to tell women that they might have chosen something inferior for their child.

        I work with parents. SO many women say they want to breastfeed but give up seemingly too soon. They rationalize that decision, in my experience, by saying to self "I can't breastfeed formula is FINE anyway". They want to think that it is almost the same.

        formula is better than cows milk. Formula really is second choice.

        people don't want to guilt new mothers so this truth is under spun. Breast milk is far superior. I feel that women--those same women who will later only feed their child organic vegetables and free range meats and will be sure to buy BPA free bottles--really new HOW (and why) much better breast milk is they would make more of a commitment. I feel sure that these women do not completely get how much better it is so are not making and informed decision
        And nurses in the hospital who give babies bottles of formula often contribute to difficulty for the mother to breast feed.

        Every woman except two I knew (I used to be an overnight baby nurse this is out of thirty or more women) who  said "she couldn't breast feed" and then explained to me why she couldn't...was mistaken or premature in deciding she could not. Many times she just concluded "she didn't have enough milk" herself without knowing she could call a lactation consultant or that there are things you can do about that...though some just werent' willing to do them.
        A few woman had a traumatic birth experience I think breast feeding was unsettling for them.

        •  Everyone knows the benefits but (11+ / 0-)

          some women can't for various reasons. Rather than just let that be a personal decision, people feel compelled to make the point over and over and blaming the new mom.  It just winds up making women feel guilty to no end.

          Bottom line, it's preferable, but not always possible. And people should respect the decisions of others.

          BagNewsNotes: Visual Politics, Media Image Analysis

          by ksh01 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 05:39:29 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  We have no problems making women feel guilty (4+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            mamamedusa, elmo, Munchkn, jplanner

            About all kinds of parenting decisions made both during and after pregnancy. The list of things pregnant women aren't supposed to eat or drink grows longer every year, and I don't see people getting chastised for making pregnant women feel guilty over eating sushi, drinking coffee, or sitting in a hot tub.

            But when it comes to using a product that the pharmaceutical industry makes billions in profits on each year, suddenly we're not supposed to make women feel guilty for putting their babies at risk by using it. We're not even supposed to frame the issue as one of risk--instead we tell women that breast milk has benefits rather than that formula carries known risks to infant health.

            Add in the fact that it's not at all uncommon for breastfeeding mothers to be chastised for nursing in public and made to feel guilty and embarrassed for "exposing" themselves--as well as a general lack of support for and knowledge about how to overcome the challenges many new mothers face when it comes to breastfeeding--and I think we're looking at more than personal decisions in play. IMO, there are a whole range of social, economic, and cultural factors that predispose many women to formula feeding and that make it a primary source of nourishment for most babies in this country.

          •  The number of mothers who can't (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            jplanner

            is very small if these mothers get the proper information and support and their efforts aren't undermined by what the Best for Babes website calls the "booby traps".

            Booby traps can include docs that give only lip service to breastfeeding or who don't know how to help mothers with breastfeeding problems.  It can also just be cultural influence.  Bottle-feeding is seen as normal for infants in our culture.

            •  yet, people should respect others' decisions. (0+ / 0-)

              and not go on and on about it.

              BagNewsNotes: Visual Politics, Media Image Analysis

              by ksh01 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 01:39:03 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  it's kind of a hard one (0+ / 0-)

                if you are close to the mother or have a role in the baby's care. Some mothers say "I want to breast feed" and also are the kind of person who wants only organic sheets touching her baby...everything perfect...would only eat organic food etc.
                Perhaps we/I am going "on and on" about it here so I/we don't with the mother.
                Mothers should be supported in what they want to do but also they should be supported to make an informed choice.

                some mothers think they can't breastfeed and really it isn't them...the process was screwed up in the hospital. Some mothers don't know there is support out there. Some people give up easily because they don't fully know the exact benefits...all sorts of brain growth factors for example.

                I think in a few decades the choice of feeding a baby formula if you could physically breastfeed will be looked at with shock. People can be otherwise so anal in what they feed their kids. Feels like a blind spot.

          •  how can you say "Everyone" knows the benefits? (0+ / 0-)

            they know some of the benefits, the general benefits
            Researchers have found brain maturation factors in breast milk. They are finding things all of the time

            I think in general people think "breast milk is best" My guess is your blanket statement about "everyone knows"  is from that. Your overgeneralize. I have had a cross section of a substatial number of mothers in the last five years in their homes with their infants. Note that I keep saying "in my experience.... They did not know the details of why it's better.

            Voila you labled me as blaming the new mom. I kind of expected it because people do blame mothers over much  and it is especially unfair because often such people do so without knowing the situation. However, I worked intimately for HOURS a day for weeks and months with EACH of these women and their infants. We got to know eachother very very well and they talked to me about their innermost feelings very often about breastfeeding or not. I understand their decisions, I could see who these women were. I tell you that MANY of the women who Said they wanted to breastfeed but did not do what was needed to do so were not completely informed or in denial of the benefits and drawbacks. I saw that some used ignorance as an excuse to bottle feed, sometimes. I guess subconciously they did not want to breastfeed so they ended up creating that. But I wonder if they made their resistance concious and also knew the details of why breast milk is better--these mothers with otherwise extrememly high standards for their babies-only organic cotton touching babies skin for instance--they might conciously choose differently.

            Each case is different. I was there, you were not. It is very PC however to BLAME me for BLAMING the mom. The backlash urge to shut people like me up or dismiss people  like me that you may feel is because so many do judge mothers unfairly. I do not feel I am doing so.

            and yes, I always respected the decision IF one was conciously made! Regardless of that I still went along with whatever the mother wanted to do and said nothing. However sometimes the decision did conflict with the best interest of the child and what the mother SAID she wanted for the child. For example, a mother had a difficult birth and her son had low apgar scores. These very educated parents were terrified of him having brain damage. She was one who SAID she wanted to breastfeed but would not despite that being by far the best for baby's brain development. It was hard to support her in what she Said she wanted when clearly her actions said she did not want to....her baby was on the bottle round the clock by four weeks. But of course I said nothing.

        •  Some of us couldn't breast feed (12+ / 0-)

          because of meds WE needed to live that we couldn't stop taking and weren't safe for the baby. There ARE real reasons for not breast feeding. I breast fed the first, didn't the second because it just wouldn't be safe. Sure she could be 'monitored' to make sure she wasn't getting side affects, but, that meant that it wouldn't be caught until she was in danger. Formula was safer, and she's not any worse off for it. She's a healthy almost 10 year old now.

          "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

          by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 06:05:34 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Most MDs don't know jackshit about meds (0+ / 0-)

            that are safe during breastfeeding.  The PDR is NOT a good reference.  It's information about drugs and breastfeeding is basically to cover the drug company's ass.

            The number of medications that must be totally avoided during breastfeeding is fairly small.  It includes chemotherapy drugs, some psychoactive drugs, and a few others.

            The best sources of information about drugs in human milk are:
            Dr Thomas Hale's Medications in Mother's Milk and his website at Texas Tech, where he's a professor of pharmacology.  Infant Risk Center  and the Lactmed database, part of the National Library of Medicine of the National Institutes of Health.  LactMed

            •  These were anti-thyroid meds (0+ / 0-)

              and I was on a very high dose, over 600 mg a day. At the 3-5% cross over into breast milk that the company claimed occurs, she would have gotten a higher dose than a baby who needed the med. I was told they didn't know what the long term risks were because those tests hadn't been done, and that was from my endocrinologist. We decided the risk of damaging her thyroid was too high and went with formula.

              "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

              by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 05:36:18 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

          •  yes, I completely understand (0+ / 0-)

            you are making a choice of two foods for your child just like everyone else and you, like everyone, picked the better one. In cases like yours that may be formula.

            No one should (or here, is) judging mothers that formula feed babies in general.

            I myself...I now realize...have judgment of two women in particular (I was deeply involved in caring for their infants) in how they ended up not breastfeeding despite saying they wanted to. I tried to support them to breastfeed because they said the wanted to...I'd bring the infant to them. One was a parent of a premie (those brain growth factors in breast milk especially important for premies) another was mother of a baby born blue and limp who they were afraid had brain damage. Both put words to wanting to breastfeed but their actions said otherwise. What I said in an above post is that I felt if they really got how much better breast millk is  (they had a that as an option, you did not) they might have chosen to make more of an effort. These same women were so motivated in giving their child the best of everything it was a strange disconnect.

            Clearly in writing I see I still have feelings about being told one thing (I want to breast feed) but being involved in the other thing happening. ..having to feed the hungry screaming infant (it is so very urgent for them!) and having no breast milk nor mother willing to bf they got formula. Eventually it's all the got within a month.
            thanks for listening
            If I were on meds that could go into breast milk I'd be scared too...better safe than sorry. Formula is OK. It just isn't the best choice WHEN there is a better one. I was a formula baby and escaped intact.

        •  Tried hard with both, used a lactation consultant, (9+ / 0-)

          very supportive doctor and husband, both kids got several months of my milk BUT if we hadn't supplemented with formula they would have starved.

          38AA breasts that don't grow with either pregnancy or nursing don't make enough milk for big babies.



          Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? . . . and respect the dignity of every human being.

          by Wee Mama on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:44:56 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

    •  And it is free! (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      weck, historys mysteries, elmo, Munchkn

      Unless physiologically necessary, why pay for an inferior product when the superior product is FoC?

      "Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes begging." - Luther

      by Cartoon Messiah on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 06:50:22 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  It sounds like the diarist (4+ / 0-)

      and his wife have made their decision.  Since the way the mother uses her breasts and what they feed their baby is really none of your business (and your opinion was not solicited), now would be the time to be quiet.  Your opinion has been noted.

      •  Thanks misslegalbegal, for your spirited defense! (0+ / 0-)

        The decision not to breast feed was not made by us, but was thrust upon us by circumstances completely outside our control. As a consequence, my wife has shed a lot of tears.

        Despite their ignorance of our circumstances, people ranging from close family to mere acquaintances have subsequently pressured Helena to do something that she was medically incapable of doing, and the resulting hurt has been, frankly, indescribable.

        I'm going to write another diary on this subject that will, for the most part, echo your views: How we feed our child is nobody's business but our own.

  •  Formula and fluoridated water (6+ / 0-)

    I wonder if the advice not to give her water is related to the advice from even pro-fluoride sources, like the dentists, to not mix formula with municipal water if it is fluoridated.

    Babies are small, and they consume a lot of fluids. The amount of fluoride dropped into the water supply is typically based on assumptions about how much fluoride to administer to an average-sized adult drinking an average amount of water, like eight glasses a day. The bottom line is that infants can get a toxic amount of fluoride if formula is reconstituted with fluoridated water.

    Interestingly enough, from what I understand, human breast milk has about the same amount of fluoride regardless of the mother's intake of fluoride from fluoridated water or other sources. The amount passed in breast milk is a lot lower than what cities put into the water supply.

    •  I think the point is that there is no nourishment (14+ / 0-)

      in water. Babies drink to eat, and if you're giving them water you're not giving them the food they need.

      I know some poor mothers try to stretch formula out by diluting it, and babies sometimes get "water intoxication" as a result.

    •  No water depends on several factors (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      elmo, CuriousBoston

      We were actually encouraged to give ours water when she was very young, not newborn but before 3 months. We live in Florida, it was hot, our trailer had very poor AC (you couldn't keep it below 80 unless it was cold out) and was badly insulated, and we walked 4 miles to the grocery store. She wasn't hungry, she was thirsty she was eating enough and gaining wait but still risking dehydration. Pediatrician agreed, give her water between. But that was extenuating circumstances.

      I think my point is, there is no set "rule book" for having a new born and what to do with them. Each case is individual, and has to be approached individually. You do the best with what you have. So if  the power goes out and the temperature jumps or plummets in the house, use common sense and dress your child appropriately (if cold, put them in your bed with you under the blankets, shared body heat works). Follow your instincts.

      "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

      by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 06:09:47 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  In the early 80's, my pediatrician told me to give (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Munchkn

      flouride drops to my infant.  They were instantly spit out.  I trusted the baby on this one and stopped giving them.  Are they still recommending flouride for infants who are being breastfed?

      If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. & http://www.dailykos.com/blog/Okiciyap

      by weck on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:35:06 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Best Wishes to you and your daughter. (8+ / 0-)

    I do have issues with two items on your list..

    * Vaginal blood is normal and okay.
    This is in reference to mom, not the daughter, amirite?
    * All popular formula brands are fine. One is not necessarily better than another.
    When my twins were born we eventually had each on a different formula. (Asking any woman to breast feed twins is asking a lot, imo.) Unless things have changed re formula, and they may have, it's been over 30 years now.

    Good advice otherwise.

    You need to make sure a newborn has enough fluid/food intake. Monitoring weight is also good. A slight weight loss after birth might be OK, but any indication of weight loss needs to be monitored carefully.

    And lots and lots of hugs.

    Any parent that worries is likely doing fine. It's the ones that don't worry that scare me.

    "The road may be longer, but we travel it together." -- BHO

    by BusyinCA on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 11:42:51 PM PST

  •  I know it all seems daunting (9+ / 0-)

    but trust your instincts;  you'll be fine.

    "Maybe we should march on the campus of the electoral college and occupy it until they change their vote"--some wingnut, Worldnetdaily

    by chicago minx on Fri Jan 04, 2013 at 11:44:48 PM PST

  •  Wrapping the baby (14+ / 0-)

    in a light receiving blanket calms them down. Sometimes.
    Congratulations to the bundle of joy. :)

    El pueblo unido jamás será vencido. The people united will never be defeated

    by mint julep on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 12:00:47 AM PST

  •  so santa was running a bit late to your house this (7+ / 0-)

    year!

    congratulation and now we want PICTURES!!!!

    don't need to wish you a happy new year - you already have that and many more to come!

    8^)

  •  I remember well that first night! (17+ / 0-)

    It was 33 years ago, but I will never forget the sense of overwhelming responsibility.  This baby was so tiny, and it was up to us to do everything right!  We made it through, and you will as well.
    Congratulations.

    We should not be fighting about equal pay for equal work and access to birth control in 2012. Elizabeth Warren

    by Leftleaner on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 12:36:28 AM PST

    •  I was so overwhelmed (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Leftleaner

      I didn't want to take Ryan home!

      They wanted to discharge us on Saturday, but my husband and my brother in law were both stuck at work, so they kept us until Sunday when they were off (husband had leave starting Monday).  

      But when they brought the baby in and he didn't want to eat, the lactation nurse was impatient with me / us, then he pooped and I could NOT get the diaper changing together while he was screaming - I just wanted to leave him there for a week or two until he was bigger and I wasn't all shaky and stressed and dealing with post partum bleeding and hemorrhoids and anxiety.  :)

      That was 1980 and Dr. Spock saved our bacon many times.  Burrito / taco wrap was a blessing, especially on colic (I stopped nursing after 5 weeks when I went back to work - it was just too much to have to run to the ladies room every couple of hours with a hand pump - plus being awake all night with Starvin' Marvin - hungriest baby in the world - we started supplementing with formula just to try to get a couple of hours sleep every night.  The 2 hour rule didn't work for us, it was more like every 20 minutes).  

      We didn't have any family in town - we actually flew home when the baby was 2 weeks old for christening and whatnot and I stayed 3 weeks because my mom and mom-in-law were there.  Got some much needed rest, some old hands dealt with Mr. Cranky aka Starving Baby, and gave me some mommy lessons that apparently were genetically deficient in me.  I had no instincts for a newborn apparently.  But by the time he was 6 weeks old I was a pro!  

      Newborns and new mommies get so much better support now - from hospitals, mid-wives, pre-natal classes, books for pregnancy & childbirth and what to expect those first days, weeks, months..., doctors, nurses, but having family or friends nearby is the best.  My OB was nice, but he mostly just kept saying "stop worrying, you're built like a cow (hip-wise) you won't have any problems..."  oh sure, giving birth was the easy part - nobody talked about the taking the baby home part! LOL!  

      Somehow we all stumble through.  My "baby" is 32 now, married himself, and they're both veterinarians - so the only babies in my life right now are their fur-children (all 7 of them!) - although I do adore my nephew (6) and my niece (2).  Someday they'll be joined by some Human Beans that will grow up rolling around on the floor sharing dog toys - and nobody will freak out about it :)

      "Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential." - Barack Obama

      by Ricochet67 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 11:12:05 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Don't get too hung up (12+ / 0-)

    There  are many appropriate ways to  care for a baby. What is thought to be important varies from place to place and time to time.

    You will find lots of contradictory "expert" advice.

    I breast fed my children whenever they were hungry. That worked for me...and for them.

    Human breast milk is made specifically for human babies and there are excellent reasons to use it if at all possible.

    One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." -- Plato

    by Jane Lew on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 12:46:17 AM PST

  •  Pardon my criticism, (14+ / 0-)

    but that is a crazy old-fashioned list.  There are of course a few things that are very true, the most important being that the only food or fluid she should be getting is breast milk or formula.  

    I know it's hard and it's really helpful to have rules but you'll be surprised to see how much your instinct and your baby's instinct will guide you through.  The first couple weeks are exhausting, until she gets on a regular feeding and sleeping schedule--and she will, with your persistence.  

    The bathing thing seemed the silliest to me.  That umbilical stump will fall off probably in the next couple of days if it hasn't already.  Just keep the area clean with a Q-Tip.  You can give her a bath in a little bassinette, though she shouldn't be submerged full in water (of course).  You can use any old baby soap you like.  Dove actually seems too harsh to me.  I've always liked Aveeno baby wash.  My youngest son is 3 and I still use it for him.  

    If you're going to keep the room 68-70 degrees (recommended to assist with breathing) you better have her bundled up pretty well, or she'll wake up because she's cold.  

    There are different philosophies on how frequently to feed a newborn.  I breastfed both my boys and it seems like they were stuck to my chest constantly for the first 4 months, including at least 2 night feedings.  I had a friend whose newborn would sleep 6 hours at night (a blessing!) and her pediatrician told her that as long as the baby is meeting growth targets, then it's ok to let her sleep.  

    It's the most nervewracking experience, but you'll get through this first little hump and you'll be experts in no time!  Good luck to you and congratulations on your healthy baby girl!

    •  many "typical" washes actually have harsh (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      weck, kat herder

      and toxic ingredients. There is no government agency that outlaws them. This is true for adult products as well...toothpaste  shampoo soap as well as cosmetics.

      see environmental working group's website safecosmetics.org

      very mainstream science based ratings of products and ingredients and companies

      I remember one Johnson's baby wash...I was appalled when I looked it up (they have a 1-10 scale it was a 7 which is NOT GOOD).

      Toothpaste for little kids (which they often swallow) often also sadly has high ratings.

      companies with solid reputations like Johnson and Johnson for babies...doesn't matter. Look and you will be appalled. Aveeno may be one...even with their reputation to be "pure"

      I had to post this since you posted the recommendation of a product to a new parent and it may actually contain toxic ingredients that are not regulated by our government...some of these things are against the law in Europe.

      I used to be skeptical of these kinds of claims but I found out my head had been in the sand. I did so first when my best friend had her baby.

  •  When we left the hospital we received (11+ / 0-)

    a whole package of free stuff from baby companies.  Some of it was useful, some not.  Do not believe that because something has always been that way you have to do it too.   No Baby shoes!

    When it came time for something besides breast milk we opened a bottle of the provided baby food from a very well known baby food company.  We used the cute little rubber covered baby spoon and slipped some into his mouth.  He made the worst face.  we tried it again and received the same face.  

    We tasted it and it was essence of cardboard.   We went out immediately and bought one of those little baby food hand grinders and he ate every (boiled and ground) vegetable known to man with relish.  Our kids never ate baby food.

    Take naps with the baby on your chest.  There is no better nap.  Period.  You won't roll over on the baby.  You will never sleep better.  The baby will never sleep better.  If the baby suddenly seems to weigh about fifty pounds on your chest, it is asleep and you are doing it right.

    "It's too LATE to stop now!" - John Lee Hooker

    by Rolfyboy6 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 12:52:17 AM PST

    •  I made all my baby food as well (5+ / 0-)

      So easy and far less expensive plus much less waste.  They are the best eaters of any kids I know.  Willing to try new things, etc.   I have to think it was the exposure they got when just starting out
      To the diarist - congratulations!  You will be exhausted for a while and wonder what the hell happened to your old life.  Then, all of a sudden, months from now, you will realize you are doing it without thinking or worrying.  Then the fun starts.  Unfortunately at the start it is nothing but the hardest, scariest work of your life.
      My kids are 5 and 2 next week.  Enjoy!  It really does go by fast.

      We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers - thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams. - Peter S. Beagle

      by jk2003 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 05:28:06 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  baby grinders are great (8+ / 0-)

      Not needed for the first six months or so (the baby food companies try to convince you to start earlier, and then all the variations as if each month they need a different texture of food -- all marketing hype).

      Two of ours' first food was mushed bananas. Then anything else could be added to mushed bananas, and they'd eat it. But my youngest rejected bananas, and liked plain rice cereal.

      We never bought commercial baby food except cereals, just mushed or ground up people-food (vegetarian, we didn't eat meat in those years). And once the grabbing starts, spreading cheerios on the highchair tray, or chunks of banana,or well-cooked green beans.

      In other words, don't listen to the marketers and companies trying to sell you fancy stuff. You'll save money and time, and the baby will eat better.

    •  Hospital "gift" packs are adverts for formula (0+ / 0-)

      Well, mostly.  Some hospitals have banned the typical hospital gift pack because they have been found to undermine breastfeeding.  A few of those hospitals have made their own baby-friendly packs with things like diapers, a rectal thermometer, a feeding diary, and maybe even a Moby Wrap.

      A Moby Wrap, btw, can be used if you want to take a nap with the baby on your chest.  The baby can nurse in it and then be shifted a bit to nap.  That way the baby cannot get wedged between the chair or sofa and your body. Do I need to say that is dangerous?

  •  My Kids Are 43 & 39 & Healthy As Horses...... (10+ / 0-)

    I was terrified 43 years ago when I realized they were actually planning to send us home w/ the baby.....alone.

    The best thing I ever did was to get a copy of Dr Spock.  The opening sentence was essentially.....Relax, you know more than you think you do.  He has a chapter on everything that could go right or wrong w/ your baby.

    You will be fine & so will Caroline.  Sleep when she sleeps for the first couple of months if at all possible.  Everything will seem easier if you are rested.  

    In about 6 weeks, she will look up at you & smile.  That little toothless, gummy smile will rip your heart out.  That is the day you will fall in love w/ your kid.  

  •  21 years ago on December 26 (9+ / 0-)

    we welcomed our daughter into the world. The next day, we stood there, ready to leave the hospital, and I joked:

    "How many lawyers does it take to put a diaper on a newborn? More than two." (My husband and I are lawyers).

    Yeah, it's overwhelming at first. Babies often don't sleep at night at first. We took shifts: we'd flip for the 9 to 11 shift, then the other person would take the 11 to 1 a.m. shift. After that, our daughter usually would sleep for as long as an hour and half at a stretch, so we'd both get some sleep.

    I remember the time my husband dressed our daughter in one of those footed sleepers but put it on upside down and didn't even notice. Lack of sleep can make you do things like that!

    Babies are pretty resilient little critters. There's not very much you can do to mess them up badly, but you'll feel much better if you read up about them (I know I did).

    I recommend books by Penelope Leach and by the pediatrician William Sears.

    http://www.amazon.com/...

    http://www.amazon.com/...

    Dr. Sears also has a website:

    http://www.askdrsears.com/

    Both of these people have actually raised children themselves which to me was a big plus: much child advice seems to come from folks who only have a theoretical/professional connection to the subject.

    •  Rah, rah the Baby Book! (6+ / 0-)

      Attachment Parenting is how we did it with our daughter and I'm forever picking up copies of Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" at garage sales and such to give to anyone who is even thinking about having a baby.

    •  I second the Penelope Leach recommendation. (9+ / 0-)

      Your Baby and Child is excellent--very detailed, very matter-of-fact, and very enthusiastic all at once.
      While I'm commenting, I'll also add my endorsement of breast feeding, notwithstanding the other comments about the difficulties one might have. There are supports available (lactation consultants) if needed.
      Third--no experienced baby hand around, like a grandmother? If you have the $ and they're in your area, try a doula.  Like a midwife for the first six weeks or so after birth. Definitely worth it when you don't have other supports.  
      Good luck and congratulations.

      Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

      by peregrine kate on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 06:56:28 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  i love penelope leach- (5+ / 0-)

        a long time ago she had a tv show. she gave excellent advice about veggies v. fruit. if your kid won't eat veggies, so what? let them have fruit instead- all the nutrients in veggies are in fruit. why force your kid to eat something he hates? who wants to fight a battle at evey lunch and dinner?

        i don't know if i got this next tip from her or from someone else, but i only put on my kids' plates what i know they want. i offer from my plate everything else- "anyone want to try my...?" or "anyone want a bite of...?"

        i love penelope leach.

        "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

        by thankgodforairamerica on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:40:14 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  dr and mrs sears are awesome- (8+ / 0-)

      they've had all kinds of kids, not just easy, compliant ones, so they know what they're talking about.

      some people have piece of cake kids, so they think they're superior parents. dr sears admits he was one of those people when they only had a few kids. they had a few more, and then he realized he'd been giving bad advice to people who had challenging kids. i love it that he admits that.

      "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

      by thankgodforairamerica on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:10:49 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Yeah, they did have quite a few kids (2+ / 0-)

        Eight, I think. Yikes!

      •  Nothing more annoying than the superior parent (6+ / 0-)

        Who has the piece-of-cake baby, speaking as someone whose firstborn was hell-on-wheels :) Despite a calm, peaceful birth, he came out screaming bloody murder and wouldn't quit for two solid hours, no matter what we did to try to console him.

        From that day forward if he was not attached to me 24/7, he would scream his head off. We tried every "expert" recommendation to encourage even a little time alone in his crib, but he would have none of it. Of course all I heard from the superior mothers at my local play group was about how I was being too indulgent and if I only did x, y, or z, he would be as easy-peasy as their babies.

        It only got worse when he grew into a hell-on-wheels toddler capable of temper tantrums of thermonuclear proportions that would come on at the drop of a hat . . . or in one infamous episode, at the crumble of a cracker, during which I had to drag him kicking and screaming out of our favorite restaurant (after many years of patience and reminders to "say it in words," he grew into an even-tempered child and is now a happy, healthy, and very well-adjusted adult).

        Thankfully, by that time many of the superior parents were on their second, not-so-easy babies, while we were on our second baby who was so laid back I often had to check to make sure he was still breathing :)

        I agree that it helps to seek out advice from parenting experts and seasoned parents you know who are humble enough to admit that not every child will fit into a neat formula and that some will present challenges that no amount of expert parenting will overcome.

    •  Thanks for the recommendations. These books are on (0+ / 0-)

      order.

  •  another commandment (pre birth) (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    weck

    take care of newborn babies some before you have one
    then you will know a bit about what is normal and what isn't and how to comfort her.

    like all important jobs, why would you expect to know what you are doing without any training or experience?

    yet parents very often do. Our society even tells parents this.

    But you see, historically by the time most people used to reach adulthood they, especially women, would have taken care of and been around newborns enough to know these things.
    the things your pediatrician told you are pretty widely known and common sense or at least available on google.

    Sorry I think it is arrogant when parents jump into the job and know nothiing but think they can wing it. I know my viewpoint isn't common but thats what I think. taking good care of a newborn baby physically and emotionally (not having them shreak for hours because they are overstimulated and can't put self to sleep, say) is a very important job

    our society doesn't value it enough clearly
    congratulations on your new daughter and new role

    •  All babies are individuals, though (3+ / 0-)

      You could take care of hundreds of them, but the one you get as yours is the one you have to figure out how to handle.

      "Normal" is a very wide range, something some parents have a hard time adjusting to.

      •  It's also just (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        kat herder, elmo

        easier said than done. If you don't have much younger siblings, or friends with kids, you don't have the opportunity to spend time with babies. You can't just go down to Babies R Us and check one out for the evening.

      •  asdf (0+ / 0-)

        intuition and knowing your own infant (or the particular infant) is important, true

        but overarching are certain things common to all infants just like their are certain things common to all two year olds or teenagers

        "cept infants are so underdeveloped (supposedly they are born the animal most un developed) especially neurologically. They have special needs.

        I think knowing what is normal and what is not because you've been with babies probably is the most comforting thing that new parents who do not have experience with infants must worry about.

        People for example freak out by their normal for newborn irrgular breathing, for example. Or their jerky movements. You get to know what's normal enough it is I am sure a relief to parents to know that.

  •  My 32 yr old son was born on 12/27. (4+ / 0-)

    It's a lousy birthday.  Everyone combines your Christmas and birthday presents.

    At any rate, enjoy that baby. It seems cliché, but it's true, they're only little for a very short time.

    Research Shows Poverty Creates the Biggest Achievement Gap.

    by Desert Rose on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 05:09:55 AM PST

  •  Babies are expensive and endearing little fart (4+ / 0-)

    boxes.  

    Building a better America with activism, cooperation, ingenuity and snacks.

    by judyms9 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 05:33:45 AM PST

  •  Babies and baths... (6+ / 0-)

    really depends on the baby. Once the umbilical stump falls off, try the traditional baby bath tub, but it doesn't always work out. Both of ours screamed for the entire bath, hysterically and fearfully. What worked for us was bathing them in the big bathtub with me. I'd get in, the baby was set on my chest, and I washed her, handed her, let her kick a bit and enjoy the water, then handed her back to be toweled and diapered while I finished my bath. So long as it's done with two people it's safe. I wouldn't recommend getting in and out of a tub while holding the baby yourself. But for ours at least it made bath time much less stressful for everyone.

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 05:59:53 AM PST

    •  agree! (5+ / 0-)

      I held our oldest in the tub with me.  She was able to sit between my legs and just splash and splash and splash and laugh and laugh and laugh.  It was so cute to watch that one day I wore a bathing suit so DH could take pictures.  Uh, the baby was cute, not me!

    •  When our daughter was an infant (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      historys mysteries, FloridaSNMOM

      we used a infant bath like this one:

      http://www.target.com/...

      The baby lies partially upright with her bum in the water (and, let's face it, that's the part that needs to get washed most). I put the tub on our bathroom counter which meant I didn't need to bend over to bathe her, something that I really appreciated.

      When she was older and had outgrown the infant bath, I used something that looked like a baby size sponge in the regular tub. You lay the baby on it and it cushions them; you only use an inch or two of water in the tub.

      •  Yeah, we tried both of those. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        elmo

        Works for some kids, not for mine though, neither one of them tolerated it. It was easier and less stressful to just bathe them with me.

        "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

        by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 12:47:20 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  We didn't let our babies cry. (10+ / 0-)

    If they wanted to be held, or fed, or soothed, we did it. And we never woke them up to feed them!

    The spirit of liberty is the spirit which is not too sure that it is right. -- Judge Learned Hand, May 21, 1944

    by ybruti on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 06:14:19 AM PST

  •  The most important thing to remember (5+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Nance, FloridaSNMOM, weck, Wee Mama, mamamedusa

    EVERY minute you are with your child is a teaching moment, whether you want it to be or not. Never forget that.

    "let's talk about that"

    by VClib on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 06:16:04 AM PST

  •  Congrats! (5+ / 0-)

    I found the book baby 411 to be a tremendous help when our 4-year-old was a baby. It was like having a doc on call to answer my crazy questions, like "why are there maroon flecks in the kiddo's diaper?" (Sign of dehydration.)

    The happiest baby on the block was great too. Learn the 4 S from that book--shushing, sucking, swinging, swaddling--things that soothe a babe in their first 3 months.

  •  Enjoy your new baby! (10+ / 0-)

    The baby will cry. Pick her up. She will still cry and it will get on your nerves and you will wonder what you haven't done. You have probably done everything just right but the baby will still cry. Walk and rock and sing and walk some more. Not frantically but calmly. Eventually, she will be soothed.

    Feed her when she wants to be fed. Do not follow a schedule. It may be reassuring to you but has nothing to do with her actual body. Learn her rhythms and follow them. Babies are not necessarily convenient.

    Sleep when you can. Forget having an orderly house for a while. The baby first, your rest second, everything else a distant third.

    You will still get tired and crabby. That is OK. Learn to recognize when you need a rest and get each other to help. Get family and friends to help.

    Babies do not need to have baths every day. Take her in the shower or bathtub at some point but it's not necessary right away.

    They sell a lot of things in baby stores and they sell a lot of food and other items that parents are told they must have. You don't need most of them. Buy less, hold her more.

    Enjoy! It is a lot of work and extremely tiring but a wonderful time in your lives! :)

  •  i had 3 c sections- (8+ / 0-)

    please buy your wife one of those long handled grabber so she can pick things up off the floor when they fall.

    they're maybe $15 or $20.

    it wasn't until my third c section i figured out it was what i needed.

    "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

    by thankgodforairamerica on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:06:43 AM PST

    •  I had something better after my first c-section... (6+ / 0-)

      My son was born in the summer, and I 'kidnapped' my 15 year old little sister for two months. She did all the heavy lifting, the cooking, the cleaning while I healed... and gained experience she used later when she grew up and had her own kids. (And she realized how much she wanted to WAIT to have kids until she was really ready, an added plus!)

      But I agree, a reacher rod, and one of those sponges on a stick so she can wash her back and her feet!

      "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

      by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:22:01 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  here's a pic of one on ebay- (5+ / 0-)

      ebay pic

      they sell them in pharmacies too

      also- all the pain meds your wife was given and might still be taking wreak havoc on her digestive tract. they slow everything down.

      i know they say not to take the old fashioned laxatives, and they say we should just use metamucil and stool softeners, but i finally took the old fashioned ones. after eight days i couldn't wait anymore.

      also- i don't know how your wife feels, but after the two first c sections i felt like a failure. i tried very hard to deliver the old fashioned way- more than 24 hours both times.

      they finally scheduled a c section for my 3rd, but i went into labor early. during the surgery the dr told me there was no way i was going to deliver this baby vaginally- she couldn't believe how my daughter's shoulder was wedged. my daughter and i both would have died trying. w/out a c section, none of my kids would have made it out of me alive. the dr made me feel so much better about myself.

      i wish i could go back and straighten out the medical teams who surrounded me for my first two deliveries. w/ my second delivery one dumb bitch/ doula told my husband right in front of me that some women just can't handle pain. if i'd been thinking clearly i would have fired her on the spot and demanded my money back.

      i'm not saying your wife feels like i did. i just think sometimes people, even her friends, might make her feel like she wasn't tough enough or she didn't try hard enough.

      "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

      by thankgodforairamerica on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:28:44 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  I had one of those after a surgery (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      thankgodforairamerica

      abdomen, to fix my bladder....Its a life saver.

      I currently cannot find it. I had surgery on my femoral artery last Sunday and cannot bend. Yeesh.

      But that is what 6 and 7 yr olds are for. :)

      Fuddle Duddle--- Pierre Trudeau.... Canadian politics at......A Creative Revolution

      by pale cold on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 09:29:48 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Feeding may be more frequent (10+ / 0-)

    than 2 hours apart. They go through growth spurts where for a day or two they do nothing but eat. Don't listen to that one. Feed the baby when she is hungry.

    Good luck and congratulations!

    •  yes! so true! (5+ / 0-)

      i could be wrong, but i believe the only time the baby would over eat is if she's starved for attention and human contact. a baby would then overeat in order to prolong the only time she is held and paid attention to- the times when she is being given a bottle.

      caroline will be getting tons of attention, so you don't need to worry about her overeating from a bottle. it just won't happen.

      also, this part i don't trust-

      Do not go more than four hours without feeding her. If she is asleep, then after four hours, wake her up to feed her.
      wake up a sleeping baby???!!!??? not if you paid me!

      "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

      by thankgodforairamerica on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 08:05:19 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  My main advice: If someone's advice doesn't seem (9+ / 0-)

    "right" to you, IGNORE it.  They can raise their kids how they want to.  You can raise your daughter the way YOU want to.  No one will know her the way you and her mom do.  IGNORE the "helpful" relatives and strangers in stores who feel that the presence of a new parent gives them carte blanche to lecture you on the "correct" way to do things.  

    I remember when my son's pediatrician handed me a pamphlet on how to put a toddler on "time-out" and other forms of discipline.  I realized right then that even pediatricians don't know everything, and they don't know my son as well as I do.

    I never worry about parents like you.  You are already wondering if you are doing the right thing.  You are already spending any tiny spare moments reflecting on your parenting.  Once you get some confidence, you will be great!  The parents who never for a minute doubt what they are doing, or who never wonder about this stuff...theirs are the kids I worry about.

    :^)  Congrats!    

    Metaphors be with you.

    by koosah on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:18:55 AM PST

    •  Best advice of the day! (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      historys mysteries

      My advice to people who are having babies: Everyone will tell you what they did, and insist that you HAVE to do it that way.
      They may get agitated if you demure or suggest another way.....Smile and nod. Say thanks. Don't engage.

      :)

      Advice to advice givers: Don't offer, unless someone asks for it.

      I have been asked how I got my babies to sleep because I had four of them, and 3 of them slept through the night by 6 weeks of age..... Answer: white noise. An air purifier in their room works very well. Make sure it's cleaned regularly.

      Fuddle Duddle--- Pierre Trudeau.... Canadian politics at......A Creative Revolution

      by pale cold on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 09:21:32 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Sing to her! (7+ / 0-)

    Hold her often and sing soft soothing little songs.  She needs to associate her dad's voice with love and comfort and support.  Give her your best...

    Tired and frightening as it may be, drink it all in.  This is a wonderful time for your family.

    Congrats.

  •  i loved using a sling- (8+ / 0-)

    it makes it easy to get around w/ a baby. i found strollers to be a hassle. did anyone give you a sling?

    "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

    by thankgodforairamerica on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:42:56 AM PST

    •  Sling or snugly for the baby (4+ / 0-)

      we used the stroller to haul the diaper bag, car seat, and sometimes the groceries, especially as we walked everywhere. Bit usually rode in the snugly attached to Dad in his wheelchair. When it was just me and her I'd put her in the stroller, she got heavy over 2 miles each way to the grocery store! But we got more use out of the stroller for hauling things rather than our daughter over the years. I missed that stroller once she was too old to need one!

      "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

      by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:51:48 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  We do have a sling, but we haven't opened the (0+ / 0-)

      package yet. She's usually asleep in the bassinet these days, but when the time comes, we'll give it a shot. Like you, people seem to swear by them.

  •  There's also my family practice doctor's advice: (8+ / 0-)
    Remember, you are your child's favorite toy.



    Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? . . . and respect the dignity of every human being.

    by Wee Mama on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 07:54:39 AM PST

  •  Congratulations! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    historys mysteries

    Enjoy your time with your son, as others have said, every moment is a teaching moment. All parents are teachers, some just realize it sooner than others. We taught our son to spell his name when we were changing his diapers. Then started on the alphabet and counting. I made a poster for him to "read" that I placed near the changing table. It had his name in the center, the alphabet on the bottom and numbers 1-10 across the top.

    We used to prop up old album covers that had as many shapes/colors as possible for him to look at when he was in his baby seat/carrier to keep him occupied, such as when I was washing dishes or using the exercise bike.

    And I second the Penelope Leach book - we bought a version  in 1983 and it was so helpful and reassuring. I would definitely buy a new one for my son if he ever has kids of his own.

    For future tasks, only one parent should teach the child how to tie his shoes - there are so many different ways to tie shoes, that you can end up just confusing and frustrating the kid and the parents. Have talked to many other parents who said the same thing.

    To help teach left from right, find somewhere that you walk to frequently that has distinct consequences based on choice. For us, it was walking out the door of our apartment, you had to make a choice to either turn left (which led to the back stairs and the play area) or turn right (which led to the parking lot). Son knew in advance what our intended destination was, so when we said "turn left," he associated that with the play area, and "turn right" meant going to the car.

    Oh, and I also was unable to breastfeed. But my son grew up to be 6'5 and is a continuing joy in my life, so for those who have to use formula, don't worry as long as you follow the manufacturer and pediatrician's instructions.

    People with hatred in their hearts never live up to their full potential. It's very sad.

    by Nelsons on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 08:14:49 AM PST

  •  Little babies cause a lot of stress. (0+ / 0-)

    It's a good thing that we had help with the second one:

    Being a big sister is tough">

  •  Congratulations!! Being a parent is pretty much (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mrs M, Munchkn

    the best thing ever in my opinion.  

    A tip from a mom with two boys currently 20 and 21.....keep the cutest tiniest baby sock you have for your briefcase and/or purse because when they are teens and struggling with becoming responsible adults you are going to have to look at that tiny sock and remember how cute they were.  

    Also best thing ever is our family's "Hugs in the Bank" policy where random hugs are encouraged because some day either they or us are going to need a hug when there isn't one around.

    PS. Y'all are going to be great at this.

    3.3 million Texans voted for Obama in 2012....give us a break!.

    by mkoz on Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 12:13:48 PM PST

  •  One of their later babies has Down Syndrome (0+ / 0-)

    He was almost certainly challenging.  DS babies tend to have low muscle tone and can be difficult to feed.

  •  My daughter and her husband became parents (0+ / 0-)

    through adoption.  Their little girl came from China.

    I bought her a plaque this summer that has a quote from Kittie Frantz on it:  "Remember you are not dealing with an inconvenience.  You are raising a human being."   Pretty wise words, I think.

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