There are zillions of gaps in our lives. I'm gapped toothed -- like the Wife of Bath. This weekend I spent lots of time with my 91 year old friend who has gaps in her short term memory. She is in a rehab facility and hopefully will be home soon. We celebrated her 91st birthday yesterday.
Then there's the gaps in life -- big gaps. Horrifying gaps.
My cousin died this morning from complications related to respiratory distress. He died this morning from complications of psychological distress. My cousin was diagnosed as a schizophrenic forty years ago. He and I are/were the same age. He was a kid with a new and wonderful wife, a college education and twins on the way. He was diagnosed . . . .
How does one live that life? He wandered off, became paranoid, was admitted in and out of psychiatric hospitals and half way houses. He was beckoned home but couldn't make the journey of a couple of miles or a couple of feet to the car.
He was a kid once -- a beautiful blond Irish/German kid who liked to torment the girl cousins by pinching our asses in the green scummy "pool" we played in. He was a musician who heard amazing tunes in his head and translated them to his fingers on the piano and banjo and guitar. He smiled once.
I truly beg everyone to smile at that one person you might blindly pass because they are "odd." I beg you to not begrudge the "beggar" a coin or a bill because you have pre-determined how he/she might spend it.
Jeebus, I haven't seen my cousin in 30 years and I feel like a piece of me has been ripped out. Even if we had perfect health care, he would still be a tragic figure -- a tearful loss. He had those who loved him even though we couldn't reach him. I hope he had a sense of that in the end.
Peace and blessings, dear Michael. Peace and blessings for your family and friends.
