Between the "War on Christmas" and the accusations that Pope Francis is a Marxist, some people can't seem to make up their mind. Who better to wage a war on Christmas than the people who want the Pope to be more of a capitalist! Seems like the most holy Christmas ever was one without rampant consumerism. (Remember, Joseph and Mary had the nerve to stay in a place for free on Christmas Eve-- sounds like a couple of moochers to me!)
Amidst the imagined attacks on Christmas, Rush Limbaugh and some Fox News characters accused Pope Francis of being Marxist after he said some critical words about our economic system. Never mind that Pope Benedict had similar complaints. Everything has been coming up Pope Francis lately, who was picked as Time's "Person of the Year" and was featured on the cover of the New Yorker. Having been raised Catholic and having done plenty of cartoons about the scandals in the Catholic Church, I'm happy that we're talking again about things like helping the poor, imagine that.
Enjoy the cartoon, and be sure to comment, share and pray I don't get struck by lightning for blasphemy. As usual, you can also find more links to news stories behind this cartoon on my website.
[sales-y voice over announcer]
Don't know what to get for this year's War on Christmas?
Tired of those Marxists pushing their anti-Capitalist ideology?
Well you can thank God because "Jesus Rebranded" is on sale now!
Help put the Capitalism back in "Christmas!"
Push his sacred heart and hear what the new, re-branded Jesus has to say!
[Jesus]
Capitalism is the reason for the season!
You can serve both God and money. Go forth and profit!
Go, sell your possessions, and use the money to . . . start a growing, profitable business! Come, follow me.
The love of money is at the root of all . . . successful entrepreneurs!
If they're hungry, sell them something to eat.
Thirsty? Sell them something to drink.
Sick and in prison? Privatize 'em!
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to . . . catch a break under Obama!
Blessed are you who are . . . rich! For yours is the kingdom of heaven! (We don't call it a kingdom for nothing.)
Yea, do unto others . . . as you want to do unto them!
Verily, the first shall be first and the last, last. Why do you think they're called first and last?
[sales-y voice over announcer]
"Jesus Rebranded!" As seen on cable news and talk radio outlets nationwide!
Putting the Capitalism back in "Christmas!"
[Jesus]
It's the reason for the season!
[sales-y voice over announcer]
"Jesus Rebranded" available at a Glorious Capitalist Retail outlet near you, created by Archangel Saint Adam Smith, buy yours today!