Did you hear the one about how the iPhone 6 will kill us all?
Maybe
this shouldn't make me laugh, but it did:
FBI Director James B. Comey sharply criticized Apple and Google on Thursday for developing forms of smartphone encryption so secure that law enforcement officials cannot easily gain access to information stored on the devices — even when they have valid search warrants.
"Even when they have valid search warrants"! Also when they don't. Thanks, Google and Apple, for getting the intrusive security state off our backs! It's much appreciated.
His comments were the most forceful yet from a top government official but echo a chorus of denunciation from law enforcement officials nationwide. Police have said that the ability to search photos, messages and Web histories on smartphones is essential to solving a range of serious crimes, including murder, child pornography and attempted terrorist attacks.
Oh, well. Time to go back to real police work, not one that relies on wholesale collection of private date, sometimes with "a valid search warrant," oftentimes without. Since we don't know which is which, particularly with laws preventing technology companies from disclosing such requests and the existence of "secret courts," then fuck you. You've earned the right to be mistrusted. Congratulations!
Funny also, in the article, how the author blames law enforcement's woes on the Big, Bad NSA, as though they are collateral damage from the NSA's abuses. But nope, the FBI hasn't been an innocent bystander. They've all been complicit, and the market (this is still a capitalistic society!) is giving consumers what they want: security from unwarranted government intrusion.
More below the fold.
“There will come a day when it will matter a great deal to the lives of people . . . that we will be able to gain access” to such devices, Comey told reporters in a briefing. “I want to have that conversation [with companies responsible] before that day comes.”
Oh, we're back to mushroom clouds, are we? So the government can pry into your devices, or we'll all going to DIIIIEEEE? Fuck you again.
“Apple will become the phone of choice for the pedophile,” said John J. Escalante, chief of detectives for Chicago’s police department. “The average pedophile at this point is probably thinking, I’ve got to get an Apple phone.”
People want privacy and security, therefore PEDOPHILES! Fuck you again.
Comey added that FBI officials already have made initial contact with the two companies, which announced their new smartphone encryption initiatives last week. He said he could not understand why companies would “market something expressly to allow people to place themselves beyond the law.”
Simple reason: because the government placed
itself beyond the law. Fact is, technology has given law enforcement far more tools than they've ever had before, allowing them to track criminals, eavesdrop on their conversations, and tap into social networks to catch scofflaws (like the Philadelphia group who viciously attacked a gay couple last week). Rather than celebrate that, they complain about their inability to pry even deeper into our personal lives. And we're supposed to feel sorry for them, because mushroom clouds and pedophiles?
Thanks, Apple and Google, for working to restore some balance between our own rights and the police state's intrusive efforts.
