President Obama delivers The Decree on "The Colbert Report."
Last night, Stephen Colbert experienced "POTUS interruptus" when President Obama stopped by
The Colbert Report to take over "The Word" segment—renaming it "The Decree."
Stephen: President Obama, I'm thrilled you are here, but I didn't expect you for another three minutes.
Obama: Stephen, you've been taking a lot of shots at my job. I decided I'm going to go ahead and take a shot at yours. I want you to get out of the way, what part of the show were you doing?
Stephen: I was about to do "The Word", sir, umm....
Obama: "The Word", alright, how hard can this be? I'm just going to say whatever it was you were about to say.
Stephen: Okee-doke.
Obama: OK. Nation, nation instead of "The Word", let's make this a little more presidential. Which brings us to tonight's "Decree."
Head below the fold to read and see the rest of the president's decree.
To health in a hand basket. Nation, as you know, I, Stephen Colbert have never cared for our president. The guy is so arrogant. I bet he talks about himself in the third person. (Graphic: In Between Those Long Pauses) But, even I have to admit that Obamacare is the law of the land. (Graphic: A Prez-Existing Condition) And while it's been politically divisive, there are things from both parties people actually like about Obamacare. (Graphic: Everything But The "Obama) For instance, that children can stay on their parent's policies until age 26. (Graphic: aka "Double Puberty") Nearly 7 million people signed up last year and nearly 1 million have signed up in just the past few weeks. (Graphic: So Half As Popular As Grumpy Cat Video)
Now, nation, the question is, how do you stop something that more and more people are starting to like? (Graphic: Move It To CBS?) Well, first off, now that Republicans control both the House and the Senate, they could pass a bill repealing Obamacare. But, the president still has the veto. And if I know that guy, he's willing to use it. (Graphic: POTUS Interruptus)
And, let's face it. Even if Republicans did repeal it, they'd have to replace it with their own healthcare plan. (Graphic: Fracking The Elderly?) And once they touch it, once they touch it they own it. Then if anything goes wrong, suddenly everyone will be complaining about Mitch McConnell-care. (Graphic: Walk-It-Off.gov)
Of course another strategy is taking Obamacare to the Supreme Court and trying to get it thrown out. But, last time we tried that it didn't work. (Graphic: John Roberts Called "No Backsies") I believe there is only one sure-fire way to kill this thing. (Graphic: Deny It Healthcare) We have to make signing up for Obamacare unappealing to young people. (Graphic: Send request via LinkedIn) We can scare them away by reminding them last year's website rollout was a little bumpy. Remember the original healthcare.gov website? I think that is where Disney got the idea for Frozen.
Now, the new website works. And most young people can get covered for less than $100 bucks. But, how's the president going to get that message out to the kids? (Graphic: Tattoo It On Taylor Swift!) He could try to appeal to them directly through a speech or a press conference, but young people don't watch real news like this one. (Graphic: Or Fake Ones Like Fox) They watch comedy shows and I just don't see the president going on one of those. They are beneath his dignity. (Graphic: But Above His Approval Rating)
Besides, even if he did get his message across, young people don't think they need any insurance. After all, they're young. They don't realize everyone eventually grows older, sometimes at a faster rate than others. (Photo of Obama in 2008)
And that's "The Decree!" We'll be right back with the leader of the free world.