There are choices a single parent makes everyday regarding their kids and work. I have no clue other than reading an excellent diary this morning about taking a sick day for a family member and it being such a stressful decision, what made me think of this story. It should not be a stressful thing to do what is right but big business employers make it so.
I was reminded of a situation in 1977 when I was working at a place called Restaurant Equipment and happy to have a job close to home without a commute to Atlanta.
I was not that happy with the job because it was one of the most boring and unrewarding jobs I have ever held.
Back in the 70's there were not the many opportunities for parent and child to have a school lunch together, or at least in my neck of the woods. The company I worked for was a family owned local business but very successful and the owners were wingers before it was popular. They were retired school faculty that was comprised of two brothers and one sister and now running their parents very succcesful business revolving around making money and getting rich. I wonder many times what kind of teachers they were as I know some fine, wonderful educators but these three did not seem to possess any of the skill I would want my child to learn from. They were big churh goers who held high office in their churches.
I worked in an office or a closet as I called it sharing the small space with no window with three other people. I would be at work at 7AM each morning and get a 30 minute lunch break and get off at 5:00. I had no insurance benefits and it was a chore to even work there. I was salaried and it was less than 200.00 a week before taxes.
I would hear the owners come in each morning and talk about Johnny doing so well in his extra curricular activities. Each day brought excitement to them and nausea to me regarding how cute Johnny was at the Top of Peachtree dining with them and getting chocolate mousse all over his new expensive suit and tie and oh how cute he was. I would hear about Jill's ballet lessons and how to remind them to pick her up early as she had a recital practice. I did not envy these people at all. I just got tired of their bragging like the rest of us had no pride in our children. If we talked about our children and their accomplishments they would change the subject or say nothing.
I often heard them gossip about how they just could not understand why parents let their children attend school with worn out clothes or shoes. I would hear how parents who chose to work outside the home just never had time for their kids. It was usually followed up with " Bless their heart". I , one day made the suggestion to them if they knew some folks needed help why didn't they bring it up to their church and make a school mission to help. Lo and Behold, you would have thought I was robbing them at gunpoint for such a suggestion. This was classwarfare , in your face and personal. It was hard working at this place. After my suggestion, they pretty much kept their bragging rights and gossip to themselves. They only spoke now when they had questions about invoices or work related matters. That decision suited me just fine.
One day, in March I remember a flurry of activity of these people of self importance making plans to eat lunch at school with their little ones. I had not heard a thing about any such new thing happening at school. The school had started a Parents Day? At this School event a parent could go eat lunch with their child or grandchild? I was confused. I had heard nothing from my little boy about today. Not a peep. These folks I worked with had said nothing. I asked one of the owners, " What are you talking about having lunch today with your child"? The remark came back, " It is something you have to plan ahead for and today would be too late and besides your lunch time probably would not line up with your child's." They also remined me I had only 30 minutes so it would be impossible. I was furious. I walked back to the warehouse to pick up my daily invoices of merchandise being shipped and saw a person I knew standing on the docks smoking a cigarette. I walked up to him and asked, " Are you having lunch with your little girl today"? He said, " Are you kidding"? I asked to get off yesterday and was told absolutely not. My litle girl cried herself to sleep. Here is your invoice, I don't want to talk about school and lunch." Well I was still confused as why I had heard nothing about this from them, or my son. I was absolutely nauseated by the fact disappointment weighs heavy on children.
I walked back into my closet, as I referred to it in my head and picked up the phone. It was now about 10:30 AM and I called my son's school and wanted to know his lunch schedule. I was told by the secretary that he had lunch at 12:15 but unless I had made arrangements, I could not eat lunch with him. I responded to her that I said nothing about eating with him but sitting or standing could do no harm. She added my name to the list.
At 12:00 and my lunch was at 11:30 I picked up my purse and walked out to the parking lot and headed for the school. I saw a packed, packed lot and had to walk down to the school parking lot several blocks away and fortunately the school was close enough to my work it only took about 5 minutes to get there. I saw a huge line of children accompanied by a parent and then I spotted my child. He was all alone and shifting his foot back and forth. I walked up to him, put my arm around his and whispered, " Did you think Mama wouldn't find out you were having parents join in for lunch"?
He busted out in smiles and hugging me. I said, " Son, why didn't you tell me"? His reply to this day breaks my heart. He said, " Mama, I didn't want you to know cause you would lose your job. I knew them people wouldn't let you come so I didn't say anything". I said, " Well THEM people..( instead of those people) couldn't stop me. He almost cried. I made a decision. It was the right one.
When I got back to work, I was immediately summoned to the office on the carpet.
I was drilled of where I was and why I was over an hour late coming back from lunch.
I told them I did not take my lunch. I went to school to be with my child who was every bit as important as their child to them. They were angry. They said, " Do you value your job here"? I looked around for a minute and shook my head and said, " Not reallly".
I don't think these people had ever had truth spoken to them before. I replied, " Come to think of it, I don't think I want to work for you anymore. I can tender my resignition or walk out now. Your choice?"
They said, you can leave now and your check will be here on the 15th . I said, " Good, make sure you don't dock lunch, I was salaried." I had another job in about three weeks but today I think the classwarfare is even worse. I still think I did the right thing.
I often paid high prices for doing the right thing but oh the sweet feeling of not being bullied was worth and is worth it all.
The next job I got had benefits. I lost a couple of paychecks.. I definately made the right decision.. Jobs are a little harder to come by nowdays but I would do it today because too many times, it is the little things that matter so much in a family.