Another in my occasional series. This one's prompted by 4th grader K2's math assignment last week. Sharpen your #2 pencil and follow me past the orange rug after a word from our sponsor...
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K2 was given a math project last Tuesday, due today. It went something like this:
You want a pet and your parents have asked you to research what it costs per year to feed a cat, a small dog, and a hamster. Show all work and figure this out, make a bar graph to show the results, and write a recommendation to your parents based on your results.
I am sure each of you is thinking of a different way to approach the problem. In K2's case, he and Mr. Brillig searched on the internet for sites to find out how much food each animal ate per day, in cups. He then figured out how much a cup of food weighs, since animal chow seems always to come in weights and never says how many cups are in the @#$% bag (
erm, that swearing might have been mine, not K2's). He looked at Amazon to find out how much a bag of average pet food cost and then figured out his cost per year. To write up the project, he used a computer to make a slideshow including his data (with links!), calculations, bar graph, and his recommendation (for the record, hamster was cheapest but dayyum those things eat!).
You've noticed by now that no 4th grader was going to do all of that solo. So when I say "K2" I really mean "K2+Mr. Brillig" and when I say he had seven days to do it, I actually mean three since we were away Friday - Sunday afternoon and he had another large project due Thursday. Naturally, I griped on Facebook that this was an awfully large project for a 4th grader.
Most everyone either commiserated or went off to find out for themselves what it cost to feed these assorted mammals. One comment made me smile: "The hypothetical cat eats one hypothetical hamster. That part of the problem is solved. Then the dog gets into the garbage and chows down on a roasted chicken carcass and a few leftover chocolates, resulting in a vet bill of $1540. The cat and dog are placed in crates and delivered to the teacher's doorstep late at night. Ring the doorbell, run away. The end."
But one commenter, parent of K2's classmate, insisted the project was "only a 45-60' project, tops" and that if we'd used the website her kid found that gave monthly food costs for every pet mammal ever, all we had to do was multiply by 12 and make a graph.
I don't want to rehash the conversation, except to say that discussion of children's various thinking patterns, parental availability, class privilege concerning the ability of all children to access the internet at will, and more all happened. And that parent simply Would Not Let Go of the assertion that this was easy, and by implication we were making a BFD out of something small. So, trying to keep tension at bay, I tried "Your child chose one way based on her style and learning preference. It was not hard for yours. Mine chose to do it in the way that HIS thought process told him to, and it was harder. To say "it wasn't that hard" presumes everyone thinks alike, and obviously they don't. I am sure your kid has struggled in things my kid finds trivial, and I hope if I knew I was supportive."
In other words, "Be supportive not dismissive." Didn't work, and eventually I just stopped replying because what I would have said wasn't appropriate to a parent I have to deal with til our kids graduate in 2023.
But it made me realize yet again how different I feel sometimes moving in what, for lack of better words, I'll call traditional culture (if you have a better phrase, I'd love to hear it). Traditional culture seems to assume that in any discussion, someone needs to win and the other person/people need to lose. And humans being who we are, in general it's Us who need to win and Them who need to lose.
I didn't see the discussion as a win/lose issue. I saw it as "hey, this is really tough right now, can I get some support?" and while the discussion of class/socioeconomic privilege brought out some interesting points, the implication that we did our project 'wrong' was not.
I try very hard to be supportive when I talk with people. To empathize as best I can with what someone's dealing with rather than tell them how easy/inexpensive/whatever something is. I haven't always, though. As I am sure many of us know from experience, it's HARD to keep all of the "Here's what you should have done" and "You're wrong, here's what's right" comments inside your head and focus instead on support and guidance if asked for.
Thanks to BeninSC for expert formatting collaboration tonight. He's priceless no matter how you tally up cost!
Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist and/or Comment Formatter. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.
Comment 'flags' tonight!
leu2500 flagged a 'comment exchange!' With comments from LaFeminista, LeviRast, Aware63, and particularly this comment from MarcKyle64. (User name links to the comment, except for the last one by MarcKyle64.)
From Hunter's fine diary on Mike Huckabee's strange fantasies.
Flagged by skohayes, this comment by annieli describes aspects of male ogling as many of us may not have considered before.
From librarisingnsf:
anon004 gives us a great description of Betty Bowers in this comment from my diary on Betty Bowers and 'religious freedom.'
From Yours Truly, brillig:
Hunter's diary Ted Cruz: John F. Kennedy 'would be a Republican today' prompts Remediator to remind Cruz and us what JFK actually said.
As a comment to his diary School lunch room manager fired for giving out food to children without lunch money, Walter Einenkel beautifully sums up all that is abhorrent about not feeding ALL schoolchildren lunch. joeschmeaux does too, from another angle.
Top Mojo for Monday, June 1, 2015, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you
mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary
FAQing Top Mojo.
1) Thank you, TomP, but take note... by WisePiper +272
2) Greg, this inspires me to work on changing the AMA by flitedocnm +240
3) Good bye and thanks for all you have added here. by TomP +197
3) So. by jpmassar +197
5) You have set a new standard for GBCW diaries by indycam +177
6) The Guardian is now the best media in America by FishOutofWater +132
7) Man, this really does get to the heart of it by ontheleftcoast +128
8) Presumably, the BLM is under a directive by hannah +121
9) and you'll get a pass from me :) by kamarvt +120
10) I am not sure by Wisper +117
11) flitedocnm, I would be extremely grateful if you by WisePiper +114
12) I have never been so sad to hit the rec button by BoiseBlue +110
12) Snowden most clearly IS a whistle blower by Einsteinia +110
14) Another Murder by MarkW53 +108
15) "No policy positions are forthcoming." by One Pissed Off Liberal +104
16) I understand the tears, by WisePiper +101
17) guardian's story up now on its analysis: by greenbird +96
18) WP, I will certainly miss you. by Bob Johnson +89
19) My hope is that you have great weather, by SneakySnu +88
19) The only myth created was by our government... by markthshark +88
21) I would be honored to be remembered by WisePiper +83
21) I hope your next couple months go well for you by ban nock +83
23) I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired by Puddytat +80
23) Yeah, I was kinda worried about auto-ban. n/t by WisePiper +80
23) I will make this an important part of my mission by flitedocnm +80
26) Yep, W.M. Biz Owner Here Too, and Dem. by Gooserock +79
26) Or, by WisePiper +79
28) Wishing you all the best, WisePiper. by blue jersey mom +77
29) Everyone should READ Flitedocnm's comment! n/t by bobswern +76
29) I think focusing on all the violent police killing by xxdr zombiexx +76
2015-06-02 Top Comments with Pictures, courtesy of
jotter!