Scientists report Martian water is saturated with salts and leftism.
At this point even talking about Rush Limbaugh feels a bit like beating up on a child, but for some reason he continues to have a radio show. He spends it these days trying, apparently, to one-up all of his old insults and conspiracy theories—clearly, he misses the attention he used to get—so let's do the poor man a kindness and peek in on him, just to see what he's going on about
these days.
“Don't know how long it's going to take, but this news that there is flowing water on Mars is somehow going to find its way into a technique to advance the leftist agenda,” Limbaugh said.
That's right, kids. If you're part of the shrinking set of Americans known as Rush Limbaugh listeners, you'll be getting the scoop on how even
water on Mars is all part of the leftist plot against America. Oh, they are cunning, those leftists. And the Muslims, too, don't forget the Muslims.
"What do you bet in this movie ["The Martian"] that fierce storm is related to climate change? I haven't seen the movie," Limbaugh said. "But here's the thing. I don't think so much NASA was -- well, they might be timing the release of the news to support the movie. Actually, it's probably true. But more than that, NASA wants to go to Mars, and Obama's turned NASA over to Muslim outreach, in case you've forgotten. NASA wants the money to go to Mars. It makes total sense in the world that they would time, NASA, the release of, "Look what we found! We found flowing water on Mars, oh, my God, there could be life, oh, my God, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go."
"There is an agenda attached to it and they've got to try to discredit anyone — in this case, me — who is attempting to attach whatever they're doing with Mars and the news they're reporting to the Democrat leftist agenda, which of course is climate change," Limbaugh said.
There are people out there who really do believe these things, you know. They can tell you how
water on Mars is meant to distract from
Jade Helm, which itself is a plot by
secret Muslims, who are aided by Obama and his secret army of
black people, and it's all a rich tapestry of What The Hell Are You Going On About. We have
a name for these people, but let's not dwell on that.
There you are, Rush Limbaugh. We've paid attention to you. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that just a few more people now know about your keen theories on why discovering a wee tiny bit of liquid water on Mars is a leftist plot meant to something-something Muslims. Keep pushing, you may be onto something with this one.
