After too many years, President Barack Obama was finally asked the most important question of his presidency: What's your favorite Barack Obama conspiracy theory?
That military exercises we were doing in Texas were designed to begin martial law so that I could usurp the Constitution and stay in power longer. Anybody who thinks I could get away with telling Michelle I’m going to be president any longer than eight years does not know my wife.
He speaks of course of Jade Helm 15, the multi-state military training exercise that was, according to those in the know, a secret conspiracy to take over Texas and turn it over to Barack Obama, ISIS, Mexican Muslims, and/or something something tunnels under Walmart. That may be my own favorite, as well.
But this suddenly makes me realize that some White House staffer had, at some point, the sacred duty of informing Barack Obama that this was a thing. I wonder if they drew straws to pick who got to tell him. And was it the same person who got to tell him that Fox News was claiming he was buying up all America's ammunition so that American gun-lovers would not have any? Is there a designated staffer for Hilarious Conspiracy Theories We Heard This Week?
Or do they just make a tape of all the questions Fox News asks during the regular White House briefings, and let Obama binge watch it during movie night?