(ThePierreReport) In another stunning victory for the incoming Trump administration, today there was word that Trump had made a deal to keep several thousand coal mining jobs from going overseas.
Soon after news reports about how Trump managed to keep half the jobs the private HVAC company Carrier was going to outsource to Mexico, the largest coal mining company in the country announced that, due to business decisions, the company would be moving thousands of its coal mining jobs overseas, where labor costs were lower.
While analysts were still scratching their heads trying to figure out how a coal mining business can run a mine where the workers aren’t even on the same continent, the Trump administration announced that it had made another great deal for the American public.
In exchange for a few miniscule tax incentives, cost recuperation, and promises to gut most of the regulations protecting American coal miners, Trump impressively convinced the coal company to only get rid of half of its employees.
This move represents a tremendous double-whammy of the political savvy that is the President-elect Donald Trump. Not only does this deal demonstrate that enormous wisdom of the President playing favorites and unilaterally altering government policy to suit specific private companies, but it also demonstrates his immense foresight in devoting himself to maintaining the most dangerous, low-skill, least-protected, and increasingly irrelevant jobs.
In a statement, the company lamented the great sacrifices it was making to continue to employ so many decent folk, but was also quick to express that there were clearly no efforts on the part of the company to exploit Trump’s political ineptitude in a way that perfectly protected the company from any real financial risks.
While the final details of the deal remain unclear, reports speculate that Trump managed to save enough jobs that each is only going to cost American taxpayers as much as would have been spent on inspecting one aging bridge.
In other news, unexpectedly, Walmart, McDonalds, and Disney World, all released statements announcing the outsourcing of large amounts of their labor force, as well. There is no word yet on just what their demands incentives to stay might be.
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