1. White people created civilization and everything useful in it.
2. Republicans not only consider D-list actors and duck hunters celebrities, they actually care about what they have to say.
3. Hillary Clinton scaled the wall of that compound in Benghazi and murdered some people, including the son of a deranged woman.
4. If Hillary Clinton is “personally responsible” for Benghazi, then George W. Bush must be “personally responsible” for 9/11. All this time I thought it was a bunch of terrorists in airplanes.
5. Oops, never mind. 9/11 never happened.
6. Obama is a bad Christian because he doesn’t talk about enough about Jesus.
7. Obama is not a Christian at all, he’s a Muslim who doesn’t talk enough about Jesus.
8. Muslims are not allowed to hold elected office in the US.
9. Melania Trump may be fluent in five languages, but only if somebody steals something for her to say.
10. The way to make America great again is for all of us to be afraid of black people, immigrants (with the exception of Antonio and Melania), Hillary, Muslims, and people who don’t pray around the supper table. USA! USA!